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16yr old has no access to her ID

225 replies

leavesinthebreeze · 11/08/2026 16:43

NC for this as quite outing.
Basics are:
16yr old has runaway from home. She is now settled and safe with a family friend. Social services are satisfied she is safe so have closed the case with her. She has applied to start college in September. The problem we currently have is that her parents are withholding her passport and her birth certificate. She was born in Bangladesh but moved here 5 years ago. We have been unable to get her an NI number, register her at a GP surgery or open a bank account because she has no ID. I sought legal advice (free) who said get the police involved. The police said seek legal advice. I have emailed the Bangladeshi consulate to enquire about a replacement birth certificate it not heard back yet. College told her she can get a bursary when she starts there but with no ID this is not definite now. I have contacted Muslim Women’s Network who have been supportive but there seems to be no way to get these documents without having to pay gor replacements (money she doesn’t have). She is currently looking for part time work and has a share code to show she it’s entitled to live and work here. The family friend she is living with is not an official guardian and SS did not suggest that should happen.

Has anyone got any extra advice or anything I have missed in trying to get these documents from her parents?

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ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews · 25/08/2026 19:50

I think you’re amazing, by the way, @leavesinthebreeze

TheeNotoriousPIG · 25/08/2026 20:21

It might be a long shot, but the charity Karma Nirvana might be able to help/advise, particularly if forced marriage or "honour"-based violence is involved.

Regardless, I wish the girl the best of luck, and I'm glad that she is somewhere safe in the meantime.

FiveCustardTarts · 25/08/2026 21:35

I’m pleased you have her birth certificate and hope the bank account application is successful.

When she comes to apply for a replacement passport she will qualify for a student fee reduction, which will help.

The visa/entitlement to stay in the U.K. may be more complicated though would it be better to try and get that sorted before she turns 18 as I seem to recall reading something about young people being left in a difficult position if the right things weren’t done before they were 18? I’m not a lawyer though so don’t quote me on that! https://childrenslegalcentre.com/get-legal-advice/immigration-asylum-nationality/ May be able to offer some advice? Or point you in the right direction?

Another2Cats · 26/08/2026 06:00

Viviennemary · 12/08/2026 00:07

Maybe she should think about reconciliation with her parents. If they are both doctors surely she has come from a good home. Not sure I approve of a 'friend' sheltering her if the parents are not abusive.

A little late replying to this but surely it is obvious that just because parents are doctors (or other professionals) that that does not necessarily mean that they are providing a "good home"?

There was a case last year in the Family Court where three boys were taken into care after being physically abused.

Correspondents from the BBC, the Guardian and the Independent had sought permission to name the parents involved in the case.

The Court narrowly came down on the side of not naming the parents but did allow their professions to be identified. One was a primary school teacher and the other was a barrister who was also a Deputy District Judge presiding over family proceedings.

It eventually came to light that there was a "harsh and punitive regime in the home" and the Local Authority issued care proceedings for the three youngest children in early 2024.

The court findings included that the children were on occasion refused proper meals and offered only bread and water, while the pantry was padlocked.

During one outburst, the teacher pushed one of the boy’s head into a toilet and flushed it.

The children were made to remain in the garden while locked out of the family home for extended periods of time. Sometimes they were made to stand outside without shoes.

.

Doctors (and other professionals) run the whole spectrum of parenting, just as a parent with any other sort of job does.

There is a long running series of threads on the Relationships board called "Well we took you to Stately Homes" where people discuss their experiences. The title refers to an original poster's family who claimed they could not have been abusive as they had taken her to plenty of Stately Homes during her childhood!

AGlessandahalf · 26/08/2026 07:50

ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews · 25/08/2026 19:50

I think you’re amazing, by the way, @leavesinthebreeze

I totally agree. Without you, who is advocating for this girl. Thank you 🙏

AGlessandahalf · 26/08/2026 07:55

One of the main issues here is that SS are abdicating their responsibility.
A vulnerable child (as she is still under 18) is being provided with no support at all.
I would make the complaint, although in my experience it would be the LA where she was living and her parents reside who “own” the case.
im not an expert on this though.
perhaps if you try this they may be more inclined to assist as they should be.

Did Karma Nirvana provide any support?

The college will have a designated safeguarding lead who need to be aware of her circumstance and they may also be able to push things with SS from a professional angle. I think they have to have someone on call all summer.

sweetmagnoline · 26/08/2026 10:26

TourdeCrema · 11/08/2026 20:57

I had a bit of advice training on helping homeless without an address or ID

GP surgery are supposed to see a person without an address or ID but often apparently come up with reasons not to do this

banks must give a simple bank account without overdraft but can’t remember which high street bank was best, but try Lloyds hsbc Barclays

Problem is that a young person in that position could be trafficked. How do GPs, banks, schools ascertain that she isn't? They are probably very careful before giving someone without documents legitimacy without a hefty paper trail.

sweetmagnoline · 03/09/2026 14:39

@leavesinthebreeze how is your YP doing?

leavesinthebreeze · 03/09/2026 17:07

Thanks for asking @sweetmagnoline

YP has started college, bursary is being fast tracked, birth certificate received and enrolled at a drs - reapplying to UC this week. Still struggling with getting a bank account but we’ve definitely made strides. She is flourishing now as things are getting sorted out.

Thank you all so much for your help/support - especially the poster who said about the number on the photo of her passport, that was huge for us! How silly that even the Bangladeshi embassy didn’t tell us that 🤦🏽‍♀️

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sweetmagnoline · 03/09/2026 17:20

That is amazing, you have done a wonderful thing for this young woman.

SethAndReubenTooSendGaloshes · 05/09/2026 08:40

leavesinthebreeze · 25/08/2026 14:50

Still trying to get a bank account sorted, spoken to UC who said start a new claim now she is a student and child benefit said the adult she is living with can make a claim. Spoke to SS (current area) again today who said to put in a complaint against previous SS area. Feel as though we are getting somewhere! 🥳

Don't waste your time with complaints. Neither social services department actually have any responsibility to provide any support at this stage as she's not homeless or living in an unsafe situation. You've been wasting your time chasing them anyway.

leavesinthebreeze · 05/09/2026 16:39

Well her parents turned up today at the house YP is living. It’s all over SS paperwork that they are not to be given her address so either they have dropped a clanger or the parents have accessed her medical records. The person she is living with is on hold to the police for advice but what else can we do? She is now scared to leave the house.

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RandomMess · 05/09/2026 16:51

Non-molestation order and a FOI request to SS and the NHS/GP practice to determine what has happened.

Gobbledegoo · 05/09/2026 17:16

Phone 999.

serene12 · 05/09/2026 17:19

Could you ring Karma Nirvana for advice, it sounds as if she needs protecting legally.
I think you mentioned that her parents are doctors, if they have accessed her medical records, this is a gross breach of patient confidentiality and the General Medical Council would treat this matter very seriously.

LydiaJayne · 05/09/2026 17:29

Not for today but when you have more head space start whatever the process is to find out who has accessed her medical records

I'm sure someone more knowledgeable will tell you how to do that

You never know what small thing you have against the parents might turn a tide

leavesinthebreeze · 05/09/2026 18:20

The police and SS are taking it very seriously. SS said no way have they disclosed address as it is all over her information that her parents are not to be told the new address due to risk of forced marriage. Woman that YP lives with was on phone to police for over an hour - they have said call 999 if mum turns up again. YP is going to stay with me for a few days as her parents don’t know my address. Police are going to visit YP on Tuesday to go through further things and they will possibly follow up on if the parents accessed YP’s NHS files and if they don’t I will. YP is very shaken and quiet ☹️
Thankfully they had ring doorbell so could show the police the footage of the young brother knocking on the door whilst the mum tried (and failed) to avoid the camera. Poor girl.

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leavesinthebreeze · 05/09/2026 18:23

Just had a thought - does the NHS app show your address? Because her parents have access to that

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TheSquareMile · 05/09/2026 18:24

@leavesinthebreeze

OP, does she have a solicitor whom she can see on Monday?

KatherineParr · 05/09/2026 18:25

leavesinthebreeze · 05/09/2026 18:23

Just had a thought - does the NHS app show your address? Because her parents have access to that

It has all the contact details.

HelenaWilson · 05/09/2026 18:27

Is there any possibility her parents could have discovered which college she is attending? Maybe give college safeguarding a heads up, just in case.

TheSquareMile · 05/09/2026 18:27

leavesinthebreeze · 05/09/2026 18:23

Just had a thought - does the NHS app show your address? Because her parents have access to that

Yes, in the Contact Details section, but you need a log in to access it.

Her parents shouldn't be able to log in to it.

leavesinthebreeze · 05/09/2026 18:31

TheSquareMile · 05/09/2026 18:27

Yes, in the Contact Details section, but you need a log in to access it.

Her parents shouldn't be able to log in to it.

Her parents can because we tried to log in to see where her old GP surgery was and the only way to confirm it was her was to send a code to her parents email or phone.

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leavesinthebreeze · 05/09/2026 18:33

HelenaWilson · 05/09/2026 18:27

Is there any possibility her parents could have discovered which college she is attending? Maybe give college safeguarding a heads up, just in case.

Good point - will give them a call on Monday. Her parents names aren’t mentioned anywhere in college paperwork so college shouldn’t have given out that information plus they know the situation but will call them anyway even just to update them on this weekends events.

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