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Urgent Help – Ex Withholding Children Outside CAO, Schools Involved – Anyone Been Through Similar?

1 reply

SomberPombear · 12/01/2026 15:58

Hi everyone,

I’m hoping for some advice or support from anyone who’s been through this.
I have a Child Arrangements Order (CAO) from 2019 stating the children live with me. Just before Christmas (18th Dec), their father kept them and hasn’t returned them. This was outside of the order and without my agreement. I’ve always been the main carer — managing EHCPs, appointments, and school coordination.

Children’s Services are involved and confirmed there are no safeguarding concerns with me. They advised the children should return to my care unless a legal variation is made. I’ve also just been granted a Non-Molestation Order against their father, due to intimidation, harassment, and controlling/coercive behaviour.

He’s tried to present himself as the main parent — even attempting to redirect our son’s SEN taxi pick-up location. which I have been they are not allowed to do.

I’m currently waiting for an emergency hearing date at Guildford Family Court. I’m very tempted to go to the school and collect my youngest. My solicitor has advised not to involve the school — but I’m named as the main parent in the CAO, which the school already holds on file.

I am very tempted to go get my youngest from the school shortly he has been dropped off. But my solicitor has advised me not to do this but it's really difficult not to want to go get him.

Has anyone been through similar, particularly around school access or where a parent is acting outside the CAO and where social service support the return to status quo? Have you ever asked a school to release your child when things were in legal dispute? Or Non Molestation situations. I’d really appreciate any thoughts.

Thanks in advance.

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