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Original poster

Should I just let them carry on stealing?

191 replies

Toytownupthehill · 17/09/2021 07:47

My elderly DM has had tens of thousands of pounds stolen from her by my two siblings for entirely different reasons. When I try to intervene I am told it is none of my business, which is true, it still pains me to see someone stripped of everything that she and my DF worked for. I have power of attorney but I can't stop her being robbed. Should I just give up?

OP posts:
Fluffypastelslippers · 17/09/2021 07:48

How is this happening?

romdowa · 17/09/2021 07:49

Try contacting the police? If you have financial poa then could you not be responsible for misappropriation of funds in some way

Orgasmagorical · 17/09/2021 07:49

Is it your DM who is saying it's none of your business?

Is there a paper trail of the theft?

MiniCooperLover · 17/09/2021 07:50

When you say robbed, how exactly? Are they withdrawing money with her permission or do they ask and she gives but you disagree?

FrancescaContini · 17/09/2021 07:50

It absolutely IS your business! She’s your mother!

MiniCooperLover · 17/09/2021 07:51

Withdrawing 'without' her permission that should have said

bookh · 17/09/2021 07:51

Yeah Scotland here but as @romdowa says be careful. If you are aware of it and you are POA you may be responsible.

LaBellina · 17/09/2021 07:52

How is this happening ?
I think you should contact the police even if it’s just for advice and based on that you can decide to ‘officially’ report it to them later or not.

Suredsun · 17/09/2021 07:53

@FrancescaContini

It absolutely IS your business! She’s your mother!
.... and if questions are asked later on, perhaps by the probate office, the finger will point straight to you, given that you hold POA.
ifellintoarabbithole · 17/09/2021 07:54

Oh my gosh - you have POA it is literally your responsibility to make sure things like this don't happen!

Original poster
Toytownupthehill · 17/09/2021 07:54

Yes, it is my DM who says that but she relies on me to sort out some of the disasters. Yes, I am definitely concerned that I may be associated with the fraud/theft/criminal activity that they have been involved in - not my DM.

OP posts:
Fluffypastelslippers · 17/09/2021 07:57

@Toytownupthehill

Yes, it is my DM who says that but she relies on me to sort out some of the disasters. Yes, I am definitely concerned that I may be associated with the fraud/theft/criminal activity that they have been involved in - not my DM.

So, how is this happening Hmm

Theunamedcat · 17/09/2021 08:00

If its money freely given you cant do a thing unless she is incapable of making decisions

Original poster
Toytownupthehill · 17/09/2021 08:00

@ifellintoarabbithole

Oh my gosh - you have POA it is literally your responsibility to make sure things like this don't happen!
That seems like a spectacularly naive comment, I am not a career criminal but unfortunately it's not a totally new idea to me that elderly people are taken advantage of. Also, having POA doesn't literally give you any responsibility.
OP posts:
girlmom21 · 17/09/2021 08:01

Why would you possibly allow them to continue stealing?

Beachtrip · 17/09/2021 08:03

As someone who had POA for my late father it gives you the right to step in to either act on behalf or protect your mother financially.

If the POA is active then she is not of sound mind and you have the right - and the obligation - to act to protect her.

If she's of sound mind then the POA is not active and it's not your legal obligation to protect her so no you can't step in.

Depends which set of variables is active really.

GinIronic · 17/09/2021 08:05

Do you have POA over her bank accounts? How are your siblings getting the money?

Looktotheright · 17/09/2021 08:05

Sounds like you don’t know how to take action so get legal advice. If in England
www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/looking-after-people/managing-affairs-for-someone-else/

ItsDinah · 17/09/2021 08:11

Please seek advice from the Office of the Public Guardian in Scotland - telephone -01324 678300. There are things that can be done but it depends on circumstances.

vdbfamily · 17/09/2021 08:14

It sounds like OPs mother still has capacity and tells her to butt out, in which case there is little she can do if her mother chooses to give money to her children.

Kitkat151 · 17/09/2021 08:14

Does your mother have capacity still to manage her finances?

ItsDinah · 17/09/2021 08:17

Posted too soon ... in England ,the English Public Guardian Office can be contacted on Telephone 0300 456 300.

Ughmaybenot · 17/09/2021 08:18

Depends on how it’s happening really, particularly as your mother is telling you it’s none of your concern and seems (?) to have capacity.

Original poster
Toytownupthehill · 17/09/2021 08:20

None of the money has been given, it has all been stolen.

OP posts:
Beamur · 17/09/2021 08:21

Is your DM giving them money? Or is it being taken without her consent or knowledge?
Does she have capacity? This is really important.