Should I just let them carry on stealing?

[Toytownupthehill]

My elderly DM has had tens of thousands of pounds stolen from her by my two siblings for entirely different reasons. When I try to intervene I am told it is none of my business, which is true, it still pains me to see someone stripped of everything that she and my DF worked for. I have power of attorney but I can't stop her being robbed. Should I just give up?

@SmileyClare

If your siblings share Power of Attorney then they can use your mother's money for themselves. It's an awful abuse of a POA but not criminal activity.

This isn't right. People go to prison for it. Karen Wakeling is one I remember but there are many others.

In answer to your title question; yes.

Why anyone would think the OP would ever come back and face up to probing questions that posters have asked is baffling to me

The op knows her mother is being very seriously thieved from. And she’s doing bugger all.

Clearly she is not averse to sticking her head in the sand and ignoring difficult questions and issues!

It’s very sad that the mother had such morally skewed children, and I include the OP in that analysis

the donor appears unwilling to take any kind of action at all so unlikely to activate

This is by no means clear. We don’t know what was meant by DM ‘doesn’t want any action taken’ - she could mean against the siblings, either talking to them, reporting them, rather than say changing the account details.

She seems to rely on OP to ‘sort out the disasters’. Personally I would only agree to do this if she agreed to activate the PoA so I could deal with the accounts and stop the disasters before they happened.

She sounds as if she is a vulnerable adult. This would make it a safeguarding issue, which Social Services deal with. I would speak to them.

You can still be a vulnerable adult even if you have capacity.

@Toytownupthehill

I am not quite sure how any of this has become my fault, I am fully aware that my relatives are criminal scum but I am not involved with their activities. If I reported them to the police then my DM would have to enter residential care, she doesn't want to do that and it would remove any semblance of independence that she has left.

It isn't your fault that a crime is happening. It is your fault that a crime continues to happen as you have knowledge of this crime and have done nothing to prevent it from happening again, which is in your power to do.... as in, we all have the ability to contact the police and report a crime!???

@SmileyClare

If your siblings share Power of Attorney then they can use your mother's money for themselves. It's an awful abuse of a POA but not criminal activity.

No, they cannot the money for themselves even if they have power of attorney. Someone with Power of Attorney is in a position of trust and cannot use it for personal gain or to benefit themselves. It is a criminal offence to use their position to steal from the donor.

I did correct my post about POA and proving criminal activity on page 2. I'm not sure why I've been quoted about eight times afterwards on this thread

@SmileyClare

I stand corrected Orgasmagorical

However, it's a vague grey area. A person with POA is obligated to act in the best interests of the family member but this is a loose abstract concept. Best interests aren't just self interest.
Gifting money to people or yourself can be viewed as the donor helping family members, particularly if they regularly supported those family members before they lost mental capacity.

Of course it's all kinds of wrong but it is hard to prove criminal activity, especially if the money is being taken in small increments.

This is my explanation of the grey area surrounding money being gifted to a POA.

@Toytownupthehill You are giving the impression that you believe POA is simply access to her funds - it isn't! Your role is to take full responsibility for her finances!!!! Your title reads 'Should I just let them carry on stealing' So you're clearly capable of stopping them - yet you're not. That makes you complicit....., sorry but it does 🤷🏼‍♀️

By not reporting them you are enabling them....that makes you complicit

@SmileyClare

I did correct my post about POA and proving criminal activity on page 2. I'm not sure why I've been quoted about eight times afterwards on this thread

I'm so sorry. I didn't read past page 1. Again, I'm very sorry. 😔

@Toytownupthehill

I am not quite sure how any of this has become my fault, I am fully aware that my relatives are criminal scum but I am not involved with their activities. If I reported them to the police then my DM would have to enter residential care, she doesn't want to do that and it would remove any semblance of independence that she has left.

Could it be possible for you to move funds so they can't get access to all the money OP ?

@SmileyClare

I did correct my post about POA and proving criminal activity on page 2. I'm not sure why I've been quoted about eight times afterwards on this thread

Apologies. I thought I was looking at the last page of the thread when I posted and didn't see subsequent posts.