Should I just let them carry on stealing?

[Toytownupthehill]

My elderly DM has had tens of thousands of pounds stolen from her by my two siblings for entirely different reasons. When I try to intervene I am told it is none of my business, which is true, it still pains me to see someone stripped of everything that she and my DF worked for. I have power of attorney but I can't stop her being robbed. Should I just give up?

Can you just answer the question

HOW is it being stolen? HOW?

You need to be a bit more specific if you want advice.

Does your mother have capacity to make decisions regarding finances and keeping herself safe.

How has the money been stolen. Is it another power of attorney?

DM relies on me to sort out some of the disasters

Are you saying your mother asks you to help your siblings out of financial difficulties when they arise by giving them money from her account?
Without further details, no one can advise.

How are they getting the money? For example, are they stealing cash from under her mattress? Making withdrawals from her debit card? Transferring funds to themselves via her online banking? Manipulating her to give them cash or send them money?
If we understand how the theft is taking place we can give better advice to prevent it.

How are they stealing it? I'm assuming she doesn't just have thousands in cash sitting around the house?

If your siblings share Power of Attorney then they can use your mother's money for themselves. It's an awful abuse of a POA but not criminal activity.

More information required OP. Stop giving such useless answers. Unless you actually don’t want advice so you don’t have to act?

OK, I do understand that the circumstances make a difference, one has access to her debit card and PIN and is authorised to withdraw money/spend on her account but regularly takes more to fund their drug habit. The other is just someone who has no conscience and who has spent most of their life lying and stealing.

@Toytownupthehill

OK, I do understand that the circumstances make a difference, one has access to her debit card and PIN and is authorised to withdraw money/spend on her account but regularly takes more to fund their drug habit. The other is just someone who has no conscience and who has spent most of their life lying and stealing.

So remove access. That one is simple.

How is the other stealing money?

Order a new bank card then?

Change card and stop access.
Call the police.

@overthethamesfromyou

Order a new bank card then?

Yes, and change the PIN because most replacement debit cards work with the old PIN.

If your mother has capacity and allows them the money, what do you expect to happen? How does the other person steal the money?

Call the bank and ask them for help for her - and then the police

You have the ability to help and the authority to speak for her, speak up!

Yep order a new card and change the PIN. It's disastrous that the sibling with addiction issues has been granted POA.

Do you have other (sensible) family members you can make aware of this situation?

Seek advice from the Citizens Advice Bureau.

@Toytownupthehill

None of the money has been given, it has all been stolen.

Then you must contact the police. If anyone was regularly stealing from her you would, it makes no difference if the thieves are relations.

If you have POA then you order a new bank card and you take over your mum's finances. You cut off the access. How is the other one stealing if only one has access to the bank card?

Does your mother have capacity to make financial decisions? If yes, she needs to act, perhaps supported by you. If not, you as the attorney need to cancel the cards.

If you're concerned that your mother is vulnerable and a victim of financial abuse/theft by a family member but you're unsure about her capacity for decision-making and your own ability to take action, please turn to GP and social services for support.

Go to the police, they'll drain her dry.

@SmileyClare

If your siblings share Power of Attorney then they can use your mother's money for themselves. It's an awful abuse of a POA but not criminal activity.

That is wrong. Powers of Attorney are granted so that a trusted person can deal with financial and/or welfare matters for the adult if the adult is not able to do so, not to treat themselves to a month in the Carribean or a wee baggie . Any abuse of that power is a criminal activity.

Caribbean!

A crime is happening, which you are openly saying you have knowledge of, and you haven't informed the police?? It doesn't matter if they know her PIN number etc, without her consent to withdraw the cash it is theft. You need to inform the police pronto, along with the bank to cancel all cards and PIN numbers and have everything reissued and kept from these people. You say POA means nothing but it certainly does. Yes, whilst your mother have capacity to make decisions around her finances, you do not have the powers to do so, but if in any event she loses capacity then the management of her finances/assets has been entrusted to you.
Regardless of capacity, POA etc, you should be fighting to protect her and supporting her. Just as a nice human being really!
Is your mother aware this is happening? Is it that she is vulnerable and been taken advantage of? If so still inform the police and a safeguarding alert needs filing with the LA so they can put a plan in place to protect her and her assets!

Yeah if you have power of attorney then report the debit card missing / stolen 🤷‍♀️ Or open your mum an new bank account

Wtf

I stand corrected Orgasmagorical

However, it's a vague grey area. A person with POA is obligated to act in the best interests of the family member but this is a loose abstract concept. Best interests aren't just self interest.
Gifting money to people or yourself can be viewed as the donor helping family members, particularly if they regularly supported those family members before they lost mental capacity.

Of course it's all kinds of wrong but it is hard to prove criminal activity, especially if the money is being taken in small increments.

Reread one of your replies. If your mother has just granted access for one of them to manage her money via the bank then obviously this needs to stop and bank informed (along with new cards and new pins, obviously). If they are also on POA then as per my previous post, it needs reporting to SS at LA. It is a safeguarding issue. They will investigate it, and deal with it and ensure they are no longer POA status. You have a duty to act, just because you know. Pretending you don't doesn't make it right either!