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Original poster

Moving house - court order contact

27 replies

themuminator · 02/03/2021 14:13

I will need to move house in around a year.

Child 1 CMS maintenance will end.
Child 2 is nearly 14 and under Court Order contact every other weekend and an evening during the week.

I can't afford my rented house any longer after that. Child 2 will be 15 when I have to move.

I could possibly afford to buy a house, but unlikely in the area I live now. Maybe up to 40 mins away.
Renting is not an option, no houses available nearby (rural / small town).
I could possibly live with a relative 35 mins away if I can't buy a house.
Child 2 will have to move mid GCSEs (I can't avoid this, have no other options)

Ex-h will take it to prohibited steps unless I apply for an order to vary first. Will court allow me to move away with child 2 due to affording housing? Can I be made to stay renting if I can't afford it?!

Can't afford solicitor, can't get legal aid, can't get through to Rights of Women advice line!

Thanks

OP posts:
omg35 · 02/03/2021 14:20

A court can't stop you moving if it's too expensive to live where you do provided your can evidence this

prh47bridge · 02/03/2021 14:24

You have a genuine reason to move. You are clearly not moving to frustrate contact. The courts will not stop you from moving. They will, however, want to see that you have thought about how contact will work after you move.

Original poster
themuminator · 02/03/2021 14:26

@omg35

A court can't stop you moving if it's too expensive to live where you do provided your can evidence this
Thank you. Will I have to provide evidence that my ex will see? I am guessing so given that all evidence must be submitted to all parties.

There was controlling emotional abuse which was not addressed by the court and many many court hearings are just exacerbating.

Can the court tell me they think I can afford it?! Even if it would not be feasible? Seems like I can be trapped in an expensive rented house with no option to save or actually own my own home?

OP posts:
Original poster
themuminator · 02/03/2021 14:28

@prh47bridge

You have a genuine reason to move. You are clearly not moving to frustrate contact. The courts will not stop you from moving. They will, however, want to see that you have thought about how contact will work after you move.
Thank you. Yes I understand this is important, and I hope that by keeping it a reasonable distance I can still maintain the weekend contact. I'm not sure about the evening contact as the distance may still be an issue.

Do you think age will play any part of this? Or is anything happening before the age of 16 just dealt with the same way?

OP posts:
titchy · 02/03/2021 14:33

What others have said. I would however suggest that you move earlier so she can start year 10 this September rather than screw up her GCSEs, which a move at the end of year 10 almost certainly will mean.

Or can she stay with her father till she finishes GCSEs?

Original poster
themuminator · 02/03/2021 14:47

@titchy I see your point. However, Child 2 is not happy about spending time with their father. At the moment it is difficult to get them to attend for the Court order times. I don't think they would live there during the week.

Moving earlier would mean child 1 would have to live with their father for the last year of A levels which I'm not keen on either.

If the distance wasn't too far, I could possibly drive back and forth for the A level/GCSE years but might be a struggle with petrol costs and work.

OP posts:
orangenasturtium · 02/03/2021 15:20

Could child 1 live with the relative 35 mins away during the week for the second year of A levels?

Original poster
themuminator · 02/03/2021 16:06

@orangenasturtium
Child 1 would not be able to use public transport to get to school and the relative isn't living at the house all the time. So unless we were all there... and to be honest, the relative quite rightly doesn't really want us there on a permanent basis!

I'm really stuck somewhere expensive for housing, and with a lack of rentals affordable and big enough for 3 bedrooms, I'm struggling.

Really worried a court will somehow make me stay which will basically mean I have to use up savings and never own my own home.

OP posts:
Snowymcsnowsony · 02/03/2021 16:20

Despite court order I moved an hour away. 2 years later dc went nc with exh at 12 +14 . Never heard a word from a solicitor.. Or even from exh tbh!!

orangenasturtium · 02/03/2021 16:28

prh47bridge is a lawyer (I believe) who always gives good advice so I would listen to what they have advised.

It really is a very bad idea and very unfair on your DC to move halfway through GCSE/A-levels though. Undoubtedly it will have a serious effect on their grades. It may not even be possible to continue with some subjects if the new school doesn't offer them. I don't know if that might carry some weight in the court's decision.

It's not entirely clear how old your DC are now, whether the eldest is GCSE year or sixth form currently? If they are year 11 now, could you move this summer?

Original poster
themuminator · 02/03/2021 17:13

@orangenasturtium

Sorry should have been clearer. Child 1 is in first year of A levels. Child 2 is Year 9.

Obviously, I don't want to have to move during Child 2's GCSEs. If the distance is not too far, I can drive them every day for a year. But there is no public transport.

Trying my best here, but realistically, if I can't afford it then I can't afford it. Rent is 60% of my salary. I'm a single parent on not much of an income relying on maintenance to pay for where we currently are.

Either we move this summer and that affects Child 1, or next summer and that affects Child 2. But my real worry is that a court will say we can't move at all and then I'm screwed financially and have to use savings to pay the rent, meaning I can't ever buy a house.

In the financial bit of the divorce, I should technically have had enough to buy a house, except I didn't because he kept taking it through the courts, which meant my equity went on paying solicitors.

OP posts:
Snowymcsnowsony · 02/03/2021 17:14

At their ages a judge won't enforce contact. Therefore ex has no rights to stop your move...

Original poster
themuminator · 02/03/2021 17:27

@Snowymcsnowsony
Child 2 court order was made late last year. It went against what Child 2 said to Cafcass they wanted, and causes them untold anguish and anxiety.
I have been threatened by ex that he will take it back to court if Child 2 continues not attending, and he has said as much to Child 2 too to get them to go.
I think it will go back to court if Child 2 keeps refusing, but at the moment they are managing to go most of the time.
I don't really know what a court can feasibly do if there is no evidence of me stopping Child 2 (I'm not and wouldn't) and if they are just refusing to go.

I'm not moving for that reason, I really just can't afford to be in my rented place any longer once maintenance for Child 1 stops! 60% of my salary is not reasonable to expect me to pay.

I will continue to make it possible for Child 2 to have contact and know that a court would want to see me being proactive there. Ideally I'd be nearer family and that is still only around 40 minutes away for contact to continue.

OP posts:
Easterbunnygettingready · 02/03/2021 17:32

Suggest you will purchase a bus pass but ultimately it is up to dc 2 if they choose to use it...

SaifTea · 02/03/2021 17:43

The court might expect you to rent a two bed in your current area. It's unusual for the court to have ordered contact against a 13 year olds wishes unless they truly believe there is parental alienation.

RedHelenB · 02/03/2021 17:57

Its 2 more years. For the sake of your children I would stay put near their school and look to move for child 2s A level s.

titchy · 02/03/2021 17:58

Would it be possible to avoid court, aggro from ex and fucking up dc2 GCSEs by staying where you are, moving to somewhere smaller if necessary - you sleep on sofa or dcs share. Or buying now but renting it out so you'll have an income. or earning extra in the evenings. Looking more creatively at the problem. Just seems like quite a drastic measure for the sake of dipping into a few of thousand of savings for 8 months of rent.

Original poster
themuminator · 02/03/2021 18:06

@titchy
8 months of rent is £8800.

OP posts:
titchy · 02/03/2021 18:12

But your wouldn't be sourcing all of that from savings surely? Some/most you'll be paying with salary Confused You only need top up what you're losing in CM.

Original poster
themuminator · 02/03/2021 18:39

@titchy
It would be a full 12 months after child 1 finishes full time education to when child 2 finishes GCSEs. Which is a lot of money out of savings for a house. It doesn't make sense. Plus it would probably mean I'm unable to actually buy full stop anywhere within commuting distance of 2 or even 3 hours of my work. Ideally I'd be able to buy a house now to cut down on the outgoings per month. But prices are too restrictive.

There is not a single house, flat or caravan etc to rent right now in the town where we live for any less than my current rent.

OP posts:
titchy · 02/03/2021 18:46

Well I can understand your frustration. But a good proportion of the population rent permanently. Taking your ex to court and potentially screwing up your younger child's education seems pretty extreme tbh, just so you can save a few thousand and then buy a house rather than renting.

SaifTea · 02/03/2021 19:44

I reckon the courts are going to take a dim view of this one.

Easterbunnygettingready · 03/03/2021 13:23

Dim view of a 40 min move? My barrister didn't flinch when I moved. And exh's never contacted me. Judge made zero comment... Bit dramatic...

prh47bridge · 03/03/2021 13:37

@SaifTea

I reckon the courts are going to take a dim view of this one.
No, they won't. Preventing a parent moving is a breach of their human rights. The courts will only do so if it is clear that the parent is moving purely to frustrate contact. The OP has a genuine reason for moving. Contact arrangements may need to change but that is all.

Do you think age will play any part of this? Or is anything happening before the age of 16 just dealt with the same way?

Sorry, didn't notice this question previously. No, age isn't really relevant. You have a genuine reason for moving. The courts will not prevent you from doing so.

Original poster
themuminator · 03/03/2021 13:58

Thank you @Easterbunnygettingready and @prh47bridge this is a relief to hear.

Hopefully if it's near enough to drive every day, I can keep both kids in the same school throughout their exams. But just in case I needed to know what my options were.

Glad to hear I won't be penalised for having to move and not being able to afford the immediate location.

OP posts:
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