Can he do this

[whatsthedealhere]

My ex husband took me court last year for regular access to our children. A court order was granted against my wishes at 3 days a week and there has been no change since this. He has now said that he needs to return them an hour earlier midweek as there is a temporary change in his circumstances. Can I make him go back to court to get this changed?

over an hour?

how petty

yes do it. see how the judge reacts to that!

pressure you are paying legal fees for that?

In principle you can go back to court but would it really be worth it? Especially if the situation is temporary. I am not sure a judge would look on you favourably for being rigid. I appreciate that after court co parenting is not possible but try to be pragmatic for your own sake as well as the whole process is stressful and expensive.

I will be paying my legal fees.

I think you would be doing it out of spite and it won’t look favourable for you.

It’s temporary.

Sadly even a judge can't force him to be a df..

Can’t you just have a conversation about it? Does it make a big difference to you?

Be the bigger person.

Is it going to cause you a problem with your working hours/childcare?

Or do you just not want him to drop them home an hour earlier?

If it's the former the courts may be sympathetic to you.

If it's the latter, less so.

It's the principle of it. He took me to court to get this access schedule and now wants to change it. Why should I just go along with it

He wants less contact, possibly on a temporary basis. There is absolutely no point in forcing him to go back to court for this. You would lose.

So you get your kids for an extra three hours a week? Would it cause an issue for you?

An hour more with your dc?
Bonus.

I think this depends on your reasons why- if you are worried he will later on take you back to court for more access as you haven’t adhered to the contact order I would definitely get something in writing from his solicitor asking and agreeing to the temporary change.

If it’s because you want to reduce the contact permanently then you need to decide whether going through court is in the best interests of your children. Surely it’s better to be willing to be flexible (within a reasonable degree) and co-parent rather than be back to forth to court over minor details causing undue stress to yourself and their father which they will pick up on.

The judge won't look kindly on you if you go back to court over such a petty issue
Don't waste your money or the courts time

I was told by a judge up to an hour late is not worth his time so presume an hour earlier would be the same..
Exh brought dc home an hour late every single time. Controlling twat.
Make that hour a great hour. The dc will be glad to be back early. Win win imo.

I understand why it sticks in your throat but I'd be grateful for the extra time. With any luck he will keep nudging timings and you'll get them more and more. That's what I would be hoping for anyway.

Just get it in writing that he has requested and you have agreed to it.

That will cover you if there are any games in the future.

Can I make him go back to court to get this changed?

You could refuse to agree it and ‘make’ him go to court, but what would this achieve? If there is a good reason due to a change in circumstances I can’t see that a court would refuse the application to vary. You would, however, waste money that could be spent on better things or even if you self represent, you would be wasting the court’s time that could be spent on better things. I can’t understand what the possible benefit would be other than to be petty and spiteful.

If he tries to drop off an hour early would you make sure you are out or refuse to answer the door? Not a great outcome for your children.

Stop being so petty.

What you can do is state that ge needs to find and pay for appropriate childcare for his contact time if he cannot facilitate it.

he might be thinking of proposing other changes so if you make it go to court he might use the chance to request them.....that would be a bugger wouldn't it!??

Maybe you should just agree. Will save going to court x

It's the principle of it. He took me to court to get this access schedule and now wants to change it. Why should I just go along with it

Because you have children with this man and you want it to be as easy and painless as possible, for their sake.

It's so great to hear you're putting your kids first and trying to work towards coparenting together despite previous issues. Oh wait.....you're being bitter and trying to waste the courts time and money. Go for it. You take him to court. See how far it gets you. You want the rest of your children's lives until their 16 ruled by court orders or can you manage to actually do whats best by your kids and work together?

You need to let go of your bitterness about the process so far, it’s toxic. If you’re happy and able to have the children for the extra time, just agree to it - you never know when you might need him to be flexible for you at some point (family event that falls on one of “his” days etc)