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Original poster

Help/Advice needed - ex DH rung up debt in my name

31 replies

FamilyLawAdvice · 18/04/2019 00:19

ex DH has run up debt in my name £6000 worth, credit cards, and some catalogs. It's all been pasted to debt collection agencies is there a way to get this out of my name and into his name?

I physically can not afford to pay it off.

OP posts:
Collaborate · 18/04/2019 06:54

Yes. You make contact with each lender and calmly explain to them that they have been the victims of fraud, and the debt has nothing to do with you. Naturally they’ll want to investigate and may even want to get the police involved. You should cooperate with this.

Original poster
FamilyLawAdvice · 18/04/2019 11:39

I don't want the police involved.

We are finally starting to get on amicably and have dc together

OP posts:
ShabbyAbby · 18/04/2019 12:24

You are not getting on amicably he is mugging you off for £6k
He has committed a crime. So either you need the police or you suck it up. Not much choice?!

Collaborate · 18/04/2019 12:47

Sounds like you’ll have to suck it up then. How else did you think you might be able to sort things out?

TeaStory · 18/04/2019 12:51

If you don’t want the police involved, you’ll have to pay off the £6k yourself plus whatever other debts he runs up in the future. Is that really better?

Pixel99 · 18/04/2019 12:54

I am sadly in the same situation. I am having to pay the money off. It is not right and I feel for you.

StormTreader · 18/04/2019 13:03

If you're getting on amicably then it should be no problem to ask him to pay off his own debt?

prh47bridge · 18/04/2019 13:24

Agree with Collaborate. If he will not pay off his own debt your only options are to pay it off yourself or involve the police. He has committed a criminal offence. He is relying on you being a soft touch and not calling in the police. Show him that you are not a soft touch.

safeea · 18/04/2019 15:59

You need to report him for fraud, or you'll need to pay the balance. Those are your only choices. The companies he owes money to can't take your word he's defrauded you - they will need the crime number or police report or whatever.

I wouldn't ask him to pay the debt whilst still in your name, he's not trustworthy as he's stolen in the first place! He could stop paying and you would be on the hook. They would say, well you were paying before, you need to continue. As above, if you say fraud at that point it will look suspicious and will be too late.

I know it's not an easy thing to do, but you must, to protect yourself and your children.

Original poster
FamilyLawAdvice · 18/04/2019 17:38

Sorry you're in the same situation pixel.

Looks like i will be paying the debt off.

OP posts:
GummyGoddess · 18/04/2019 17:41

If you pay this debt off he will run up more for you to pay. How many thousands will be your limit?

StormTreader · 18/04/2019 17:43

£6k to keep someone "amicable"? Jesus, they must be the new messiah!

MzHz · 18/04/2019 17:46

Bluntly, you’re an idiot for letting him get away with doing this to you.

You do realise that he’s ONLY getting on better with you because he’s lining you up for more debt or any other form of control he can land you with, right?

Stop this nonsense now, stop “getting on with him” and get him to sort out all the mess he’s put you in and leave.

Your kids deserve a better role model, you deserve a better deal than this.

He deserves what’s coming to him.

Original poster
FamilyLawAdvice · 18/04/2019 17:52

leave where exactly MzHz? I've already left hence why he's ex dh Confused

I posted in legal matters for legal help/advice. Not aibu.

OP posts:
FiveGoMadInDorset · 18/04/2019 17:56

And he will continue doing it, don't be a mug

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 18/04/2019 18:08

If you pay this off for him then he will never pay for anything himself again. Maybe you can pay £6,000 this time, but could you pay it every year? What about £10,000 a year?

prh47bridge · 18/04/2019 18:16

You've had legal advice - go to the police. He's taking you for a fool. He's already damaged your credit rating. If you pay off this debt he will continue to run up debts in your name and damage your credit rating further. The only way to stop him is to go to the police.

sackrifice · 18/04/2019 18:18

How do you know it was him? surely you will just respond and say they have been the victims of fraud as it wasn't you?

7yo7yo · 18/04/2019 18:23

You asked for advice.
You were given good advice and then stared moaning about it.
If you want to keep the relationship “amicable” by paying of debt that’s not yours and you can’t afford to pay, carry on.

NotStayingIn · 18/04/2019 18:36

If a crime has been committed you need to inform the police. It will be hard to get any legal advice which wouldn’t involve that step. (Without proof it’s been reported I can’t imagine the debt collectors will ever believe you anyway.) Sorry you are in this position.

MonkeyfaceThereturn · 18/04/2019 18:46

Don't be a bloody drip.

Why on earth would you pay off an ex partners debt?

Seriously I must live on another plant 😂

Woman the fuck up and dob him in!

Original poster
FamilyLawAdvice · 18/04/2019 18:46

7yo7yo:
You were given good advice and then stared moaning about it.

I've posted two further comments after my initial post.

One showing sympathy for another poster in the same place and one asking how im meant to leave someone i've left.

That's not "moaning"

there will be no police.

If you constitute calling people mugs and idiots as advice then good for you.

OP posts:
blackcat86 · 18/04/2019 18:46

I appreciate this is a hard situation but look at the bigger picture. What if you struggle but pay off 6k and then next time its 12k, 20k or 50k run up in your name. Will you just be in debt until you die on his account then? Let your bank know about a fraud issue and contact action fraud. The police are unlikely to do anything in reality but you cant just let it go to keep the peace I'm afraid

Justajot · 18/04/2019 18:53

You could give him a deadline to pay it all off, otherwise you go to the police. That gives him a way out of fraud charges. But you'd have to follow through. Otherwise you're going to be paying this and all his future frauds off yourself.

78percentLindt · 18/04/2019 18:59

How do you know it is him.
TBH - go to the companies, tell them you know nothing about these debts, let them investigate which may involve police.
If you don't there will be more.
I am stunned that you won't report this because you are co-parenting amicably.