Have decree nisi. Husband will not disclose finances so that we can agree financial order.

[Weathervain]

Both retired with smallish pensions. Children grown up and left home. House jointly owned and paid off. Long mostly unhappy marriage!

I am trying to divorce as cheaply as possible as we will try to buy separately and money is very tight. We want a clean break. I have the decree nisi.

H originally agreed on division of pensions and 50/50 the house. All other assets and savings (personal as we have had separate finances for years) to be left out of the equation.

I can apply for the absolute in a few weeks time but now H has refused to show me any evidence of his pensions. I know they are more than mine so he will need to pay part of one to me to level out our finances. He has consulted a solicitor. I can't go any further if he refuses to cooperate and to get the relevant documents from his pension provider.

What happens if I just get the absolute with no financial order set up?

How do I force him to disclose the financial side of things?

He agreed initially to us both having a similar income after the divorce but has changed this after speaking to the solicitor. She has said though that the outcome will be a 50/50 split.

Should I contact the court?

if you cannot reach agreement eventually there will be a financial hearing and if he refuses to disclose his pension amount then he can be forced to do so. Why don't you know it though? I don't understand how people can be married for a long time and not know these things. Do they hide their post and bank statements for 20 years from their partner? That seems really weird to me. I did both of our tax returns. We each had total access to the other's affairs as we were married.

I had no idea what my XH had in the way of pension and I did all the finances for 15 years. He just paid into a pension fund from his salary. Likewise he had no idea how profitable my business was - he left it to me entirely.

I'd just sit it out and wait for the court hearing. Then tell the judge he won't provide pension valuations. That'll get him moving.

He would be forced to disclose in court but by the time you get there, you both will have spent a tidy sum on solicitors and court fees.

Maybe ask him to go to mediation with you at this point? They would encourage him to disclose. You don't have to sit in the same room.

Good luck

I don' think you'd need a solicitor if you're just going to court to tell the judge he won't disclose any details of his pension. You might feel intimidated, but you could do it. You could also ask for court fees to be awarded since he was being obstructive (just an idea - I have no idea if this is allowable).

Thank you. H has always been secretive and has cancelled all bank statements in case I looked! Which of course I did before he stopped them. . (Not opened them! they were just lying around and this was pre divorce) so I added them up and it was around £300 per month more than me but can't remember providers etc. not even sure if this amount is worth dividing, although I will be on a very low income if I don't. Which is why I want to know if it's worth the effort.

I think there is no option but to start paying fees as he is being obstructive. I'll certainly ask for the fees to be paid by him, but I'll call the court and see if I can get a solicitor to look at it all.

Why don't you ask for a £100 per month from, he'll be £200 per month better off than you but much cheaper than fighting out in court?

generally lawyers advise to have a sealed court consent order or court financial order before you go for decree absolute.

If his income is just £300 more a month than you that is not really very much more. Do not spend more on lawyers over this than the difference between what he is offering and you would settle for.

We decided our future pensions were likely to be about the same so just kept our own pensions on the divorce.

Do you know if his annuity is fixed or inflation proofed as if not inflation proofed in a few years the £300 a month difference may not be worth very much if we move back to higher inflation.

It might be simpler that you get more of the equity in the house than 50% and in return he keeps his extra £3600 a year after tax pension.

I'll ask the solicitor if he could just agree (legally binding) to pay me a sum of around £100 per month then because it is ridiculously expensive to pension share (around £4K) and see what they say.

I'll suggest to him about the equity but I doubt he would go for that as there is just about enough to house us in a small house each.

Will look around for a free half hour just to clarify the situation.

I know he is making it awkward for the sake of it to delay the absolute as we can't move forward to that unless the finances are sorted. So much for amicable!

Thanks babybarrister. Not sure if you will read this but what happens if H applies for the absolute, which he can do 3 months after my 6 week period? I am looking at a family solicitor locally. Can I delay this being granted until he discloses or agrees on the financial side?

Thanks I will do that

all