what happens if DC have a party invite (and wants to go) if it falls during contact with exp and the contact is court ordered?

[everforever]

Hi

My exp put in for residency. Sw are doing s37 report. In Sw recommendations she's recommending I have residency and exp gets supervised contact order.

At the moment he is is supervised for 2hours a week (no order yet) and when dc1 had a party we just skipped contact (with Sw agreement as exp refused to have dc2 or change the day).

What will happen when the court orders contact? He's not allowed to know where we live so he wouldn't be able to take dc1 to the party.

Dc1 has been invited to parties quite a bit but only wanted to go to 1. So there is a chance it won't be all of the time. Most parties seem to be on the day contact is.

As a one off, it might be acceptable, but if it were a regular thing, I imagine a court wouldn't look to kindly on it if your DS dad were to apply to court for enforcement.
Lots of DCs miss out on weekend parties and activities with friends due to other commitments - when being minded by grandparents while parents work, for instance.

It does them no harm not to go to most parties anyway - sometimes the number gets out of hand.
Of course he can take her if he chooses to - he could drop her off back to you at a local park. He doesn't need to know your address to take her to a friend's party if he consents that she goes in that time. Mind you if you saw your daughter for 5 hours a week I bet you would not be wanting her away from you at a party for most of that time so put yourself into his shoes.

Green grow did you miss the bit about contact having to be supervised? Not really conducive to taking a child to a party...... Presume he is violent also?

He was violent to me which is the reason he's got to have supervised which the social worker is recommending especially as he's not allowed to know where we are living so him taking DC to parties will not work. He's not allowed to know the area we are living in.

The social worker told me that if DC has a party they want to go. They should go as socialising is good especially with what DC have been through

Exp gets 2 hours a week. He has been offered more but he refuses to have more "through cost" and " I enjoy to have a drink some nights" and "I like to have a lie in" when social worker said contact is best in the morning as DC wake so early and with the distance they have to travel after contact we can get on with our day.

DC has been invited to 6parties since April but only chose to go to 1.

The one DC has been to. I offered contact to go ahead with dc2 but again he refused stating "he's not travelling all that way to just see dc2" he has to travel 30 mins

In your case I would think that they would look to writing something into the order about your dc's needs and what should happen if contact needs to be changed (for example my order says about arranging holiday time that ex has to give minimum of 3 weeks notice and another clause about 'reasonable swaps' )
In more ordinary cases then the children have to put up with whatever the other parent decides

I think its better you stick to the regular supervised contact
and any parties the child can miss, it isn't essential. nice but not essential. you can organize other social activities play dates around the contact time.

is it supervised at a contact centre? if so might be hard to change time anyway.
if supervised elsewhere might be feasible to change the time slightly but keep same day...kids need to know the routine so Saturday is the date with dad.