Horrible incident/assault in the Science Museum yesterday

[Dodo76]

Had a horrible incident in the Science Museum yesterday when I was there with DP and his DCs, 10 and 8 and my DSs, 5 and 3. DSs were playing with a water feature in the kids play area in the basement. DP and I were stood at one end watching (the feature was 3-4m long max). I was watching DS1 when I saw a woman start screaming at him and waving her finger right in his face. I went over and said, can you please not scream at him and waive your finger in his face (then was about to ask what he had done) when this woman turned on me and started screaming at me that I was a terrible mother, that it was my fault DS1 as like this etc. I asked her to stop screaming at me at which point she pushed me hard backwards. I was completely shocked and said do not push me and went to find a security guard and DP (who had gone to check on his DS) who then came over then the woman kept screaming at DP saying I was a terrible mother, mad etc. The manager came and we both went out. She told her version, no doubt a pack of lies, then I told mine but because it was my word against hers they couldn't do anything. I said I had been assaulted and did not want to go back in with that woman there. I know it's not a massive thing but I am completely shaken and can't stop crying. What is also really upsetting is that this incident was witnessed by about 20-30 people and none stepped in or came forward to support my version of what happened, although I think a few people were telling her to shut up etc. I may be overreacted but I have called the police and was going to formally report it later today but am now wondering whether to bother as there were no cameras there and I can't see that they would bother to take it further. I just feel like I don't want to leave the house. Any guidance on what to do would be very welcome.

[AnitaManeater]

So sorry that happened to you, I'd be really upset and angry! I'm glad you have reported it. Even if no charges come of it, it will hopefully make that woman think twice about doing it again and get the help she obviously needs.

[K8Middleton]

I would imagine Helen it's because if someone is as unhinged enough to scream and jab their finger at a small child they are probably not going to be able to engage on a reasonable level?

I would take action to help my child and then ask questions later if someone was being abusive towards my children. Surely that's what any sensible parent would do?

[RedHelenB]

yes, exactly - you'd take your child away from the scene not escalate it!

[cansu]

tbh i think the police have much more serious stuff to deal with than a woman shouting at you and pushing you in a public place. I can understand you were upset but you are over reacting a tad.

[K8Middleton]

I don't know. I think I might have a visceral reaction that would almost be beyond my control. That is to say I might find I have shouted at her to leave my child alone before I got to the child.

I honestly just don't know how I would react but the op was not in the wrong to react as she did.

[RedHelenB]

Telling a 5 year old off for snatching & hurting her child is not unreasonable, I bet if the shoe was on the other foot then OP would have done the same. It was busy, so by all accounts her voice would have had to be loud.

[RedHelenB]

BTW, she definitely should not have pushed OP as i have said before.

I had an old guy have a go at me the other week over absolutely nothing - some people are just like that & all i would say is sometimes it is better to let things go imo.

[RedHelenB]

All the OP had to do was switch round the asking what he had done & the asking not to scream at him & I think none of the rest would have followed, that is the point I'm trying to make.

[MikeLitoris]

I dont think it is an overreaction to involve the police. That woman needs to understand that pushing another person is never acceptable. What kind of lesson is she teaching her dc?

I have a family member that was pushed from behind leaving a shop. He fell forward and smashed his face on a curb. He has had 3 lots of surgery and has not been able to work since (18 months).

[SirChenjin]

She is perfectly entitled to say "can you please not scream at him and waive your finger in his face". The woman who then took it upon herself to push the OP hard is the one who should be being held to account, not the OP and not her son who is in danger of being glassed in a pub

[K8Middleton]

Telling a 5 year old off for snatching & hurting her child is not unreasonable, I bet if the shoe was on the other foot then OP would have done the same. It was busy, so by all accounts her voice would have had to be loud.

I don't know where you have got the idea this is what happened Helen? It doesn't say that in any of the op's posts.

[lljkk]

I wouldn't pursue it as assault.

I don't think OP did anything to deserve such treatment & the screeching woman sounds completely unhinged, but there are some better ways to put things behind you than others. Pursing this as "assault" sounds like a nightmare to me.

I don't care if pushed is a "crime"; it's a ridiculous modern convention to call that assault; OP hasn't mentioned that she fell over & broke her arm as a result of the push, has she? Annoying, but there are better ways to move on.

[AwfulMaureen]

OP did NOTHING wrong Arabella when she told the woman to stop shouting ....why assume her child was in the wrong? I would do the same as she did and then ask what happened. The woman sounds mad as a box of frogs op. Try to think that maybe she'd just received terrible news which knocked her off balance or something....

[SirChenjin]

A ridiculous modern convention??! What nonsense.

It's classed as assault in law.

[Reincarnatedpig]

I was at the Science Museum today and can see why people go unhinged there. Of course this woman's behaviour was unacceptable and no normal person would behave like that. The police will not do anything unless there are obvious injuries though. TBH you will achieve very little from pursuing it, just forget it as best you can and move on.

[SirChenjin]

It's not an overreaction at all. Being pushed is assault, pure and simple - it's not 'bad manners'.

[Dodo76]

It is most definitely assault and a really scary awful experience that I would never want to happen again. I am completely shaken and spent most of last night in tears with DSs asking me why I am crying. Yes it may be an overreaction to report it to the police but I felt a lot better after doing it, like I had taken control of the situation. I honestly think that whatever I had said to this woman, even if an apology, then nothing would have stopped her screaming at me and shoving me. And yes, it took a huge amount of restraint not to shove her back but I didn't because I would simply never cross that line! I have never hit an adult and it would't occur to me to do so. I have also never screamed at another child and would never dream of doing so. The most I think I have done is ask a child to stop what they are doing if hurting my child and ask where the parent is. Usual course is for the parent to come over, you jointly establish who did what, the child in the wrong apologies and all is fine. Whatever DS1 did, the minute she starts screaming and shouting at him and thrusting her fingernail in his face, she becomes in the wrong. What is also scary is the way she just didn't calm down afterwards as I thought/hoped she would do, she just kept ranting on about me being a terrible parent.

[Dodo76]

And yes, I do have a lot of other things going on ATM which are making me upset/anxious including my dad having died recently and ongoing issues with my abusive ex DH not to mention massive stress from working full time and being a single parent which is probably why it feels massively unfair then when I take one precious day off work to spend with my kids something like this happens. The day was topped off by my journey home when I got off the tube at my stop and was carrying DS2 as he had fallen asleep and asked DS1 to carry DS2's scooter which he did but then started riding it on the platform at which point a booming voice yelled out CAN YOU NOT RIDE YOUR SCOOTER ON THE PLATFORM. Great day NOT. I will barricade myself in the house in future.

[TribbleWithoutATardis]

Dodo its unacceptable that a grown woman acts like that in public, to be frank I applaud you for reporting it to the police. For those that say the police have better things to do, what the hell?! Even if all the other party gets is a flea in their ear by a beat bobby it should be hammered home that they do not have the right to assault someone in public.

[Dodo76]

Thanks Tribble. I feel better having reported it although I'm sure nothing will come of it. The police were great/very understanding. I cannot believe this woman has not behaved like this on other occasions. Much better to have logged it.