Ok, first point:
Be VERY careful about naming and shaming. I named and shamed a wedding supplier, who then proceeded to sue me for slander: even though everything I said was true. If someone is going to respond like that, do you think they'll play fair?? Please be careful, I don't want you to get into trouble.
Secondly:
WTF??? what THE HELL is he playing at??? I don't care who, what when where etc, YOU paid for a service. Not just a service, a very very important one. People have to remember that to work in weddings there is an extra level of morality that must exist, otherwise, you'll never be any good. You cannot play around with the rules and do what you want.
To give/sell whatever copies of the pictures to anyone would be bad, but to his ex?? That is just disgusting. What the hell is this guy? I would be furious.
You paid for a service, and rather than this person who you paid looking to you as his employer, he plays favourites and hands over your photos [I don't care about the legality here, they are her wedding photos, hers] to some woman who I imagine you probably have little respect for.
He sounds like a total see you next tuesday.... WHy the hell is your DH friends with him? And then he's defensive and rude? Not much of a friend my love, I am afraid to say.
I am really sorry. I had wedding suppliers who acted disgustingly, and it was horrible. The fact that they are wedding suppliers means they should know how important this is, but a lot don't seem to...
I hope you can enjoy the pics.
Much love.