Neighbour flashing and writing suggestive letters to my elderly Mother.

[TheHouseOnTheCorner]

he is the boyfriend of a woman who has lived on the same estate for about 20 years...he moved in with her about 6 months ago...maybe more....he's in his 40s and a few months ago a woman reported that he was flashing her...naked in the window....he then sent some letters to a few women...one or two each over a period...inoccuous stuff like "You've got nice legs" and "we could go out" kind of stuff but worrying given the flashing....I never heard about all this but my sister just told me that Mum hass recived two letters from him last week inviting her swimming "I'll wear my trunks"

ANd my Mum is in her 60s and has not been well at all lately...she doesn't need this.

The police have been to speak to him and warn him but apparently can do nothing until he sends three letters! Only then is it harrasment and only then can they serve something officially.

Mum has just had extra locks put on by the police but they say he has no record of sexual assault....what the eff can I do?? Short of marching round there and demanding the silly woman whois harbouring him to kick him out!

Stay away, however tempting it is to visit with the largest male in your family!

Call the police non-emergency number 101 and tell them you want to speak to someone in your mum's area about it.

I think the police response has been pretty inept - not unusual unfortunately. If he is doing this to your mother who knows who else he is doing it to who may be vulnerable.

You have every right to be concerned about this, and to expect stronger action.

What SHOULD the police do though? Other than what they've done...which is only to warn him.

Well "flashing" is a sexual offence, he should have been charged with indecent exposure. A conviction can lead to up to two years in jail and inclusion on on the sex offender register.

It's a crime which is generally taken quite seriously because it is seen as a "trigger crime" which can lead to more serious sexual and violent offending.

Sadly some police officers seem to think if you're an elderly woman you won't be too disturbed by it. I bet the response would have been different if it involved flashing at young girls. The point is whether he's doing this to women/girls he perceives as "vulnerable". They should have investigated it more thoroughly because he may well be doing this to other women.

I really do think you should talk to 101 about it.

Posted on your other thread but I agree contact the police again and complain loudly, it doesn't matter if he doesn't yet have a record if he is committing these sorts of offences.

Further contact the council and speak to their asb team. Tell them the serious impact this is having on your mother, the neighbours and the community and something needs to be done. Ask them to investigate and take copies of the letters. Tell them that police warnings have not stopped the behaviour and younwonder if they will either pressure the police to charge/ serve a harassment warning or if the council will consider an asbo.

The council and police will have regular asb multiagency meetings so they liaise with each other

He never flashed my Mum...and she doesn't know if the people he DID flash at made an official complaint...the police wont tell her.

She hasn't had anything happen since the warning Maam it was 2 days ago.

OK sorry I misread your post. Think YesMaam is right about the contacting the Council though. Have a look on the Council website, you will find the ASB contact number or email contact.

I would just try to reassure your mum - hopefully the warning will be enough and he'll now keep his head down.

Unfortunately my experience of flashers/perverts/prolific pestering letter writers is that is will probably happen again, despite the warning.

Definitely contact the council and ask them to investigate. If possible get the other neighbours involved to also complain direct, or ask them if they are happy with you providing their details. Fortunately with council action complainants can remain completely annonymous to the offender, even if the matter goes to court.

If the police want to prosecute then witnesses would have to be willing and be named.

But it's a privately owned hous Maam.

It does not matter that it is a private owned house - the council still have means to protect residents in their local authority from anti-social behaviour, regardless of whether the asb is committed by someone living in a council house or not.

They can apply for an ASBO if it seems appropriate, or if someone who is complaining is a council tenant, then they can apply for an injunction, which is much easier to obtain than an ASBO. The most important thing is to get it on their radar and to try and get some joined up thinking with the police.

Flashers are normally taken very seriously by the police and combined with unwanted letters the police and council's asb team should act. Often they get people to sign Acceptable behaviour contracts (ABCs) first promising they will not do x, y and z, but if that fails they will consider taking legal action.

Oh right! Thank you Maam I will tell Mum....she is laughing about it a bit now and of course, it's all out n the open and oter neighbours have come out to say that he has done things....the neighbours are all relived that everyone is talking about it now...some of them hadn't reported as they felt that it was "silly" or something...they are all communicating about it.