Does she need his permission to leave children with neighbour for weekend?

[neuroticmumof3]

HI, I'm after some quick advice for my friend. Her stbxh was very abusive during their relationship and is still controlling her now. He currently doesn't see his children, contact was stopped due to him threatening to hit one of them, and she is waiting to see if he takes her to court for contact. He does have PR. She wants to go away for the weekend with her new bf and is planning to leave children with her neighbour (a responsible and appropriate adult). He has somehow found out about this and says she's not allowed to do this without his permission. He's threatening to report her to SS. Is he right about this? Does she need his consent (he'd never give it)? Thanks.

She does not need his permission and SS won't give a shit either. Hope she has a lovely, relaxing time! :)

Unfortunately she's so stressed out she's saying she can't go, that he's ruined it already. I'm hoping she'll feel better once I can confirm for her that she doesn't need his consent to go. I can see SS telling him to take a hike.

She wouldn't be able to take the dc out of the country without his permission, but leaving them with a responsible adult is fine. I can see that he's really worn her down with years of abuse, but if she goes away for this weekend, what's he likely to do? Would he turn up at the neighbour's place and demand to take the dc himself?

He might do. I'm sure he'd do something to attempt to sabotage her time away. He so manipulative, he really knows how to headwork her.

Could she change the date of the weekend away, so the ex thinks he's "won"?

That's a good idea.