what to do about court order regarding DD from soon to be exH

[devastatedofdorset]

Hi - i have posted on relationship threads about catching my H having an affair with the village tart on the 28 December and the subsequent turmoil that i have been through. I am divorcing him on the grounds of his admitted adultery and this is being heard in Bournemouth, and on Saturday received a court order about access to our daughter to be heard in Salisbury. I have spoken to my lawyers who believe that he hasnt a leg to stand on - he has had masses of contact with DD who is now 9 but the issue for him is that she doesnt want to see the OW and doesnt want to sleep over at his place- he is in theory renting a 1 bedroom property although seems to spend most nights with the OW about 700 yards down the road from us. My solicitors are surprised that this has been listed as he appears to have totally ignored the need to consider mediation and his application seems to centre on the 2 issues above. A question i have is that is this an issue that the 2 processes are going to be heard in different courts - isnt this going to complicate things, and secondlly am i in my rights to ask them to speak to our DD before this hearing because her views need to be heard. Thanks DEV

It should be heard in the county court local to where the child lives.

IME judges are not insisting that many cases go to mediation. Often this is to reconnise that there is an intractible dispute between the parties. Are you prepared to go to mediation with an open mind, or intent on bending him to accept your position?

Cafcass might well be ordered to speak to your daughter and prepare a short wishes and feelings report. The fact that a 9 year old is not having staying contact with her father is worrying.

Thanks for responding. We live on the Hampshire -Dorset borders so this is the problem but we are in Dorset rather than Hampshire and the court is in Wiltshire which is another county.

I am happy to go to mediation and always have been - i have tried to get him to sit down and discuss with me or even with a friend or his Father if that would help but he refuses. Our DD has had sleep issues before and we had only just got these sorted when i found out about the affair and he left.

If you are implying that i am stopping her having staying contact then you are wrong - i have been trying to conviince her that she is ready for this for several months. It is not in her or my interests for either of us to have a strained relationship with her Father - i can tell you that i have been scrupulously fair and this is even what his parents would say.

Your solicitor is the person in the best position to advise you.

Not implying anything. Just saying it's got to be a concern. It's the county court closest to you that counts but if there's little difference between the 2 then it will stay in that court.