ttc no5. Those with large families - do you run a tight ship, or go with the flow?

[tummytickler]

Hi
We are currently ttc no5.
Life is quite hectic at the moment, but dh and i are quite easy going/relaxed/little bit lazy .
i am starting to think life might be more pleasant (especially as i feel quite shitty during pregnancy) if life was a bit more controlled / organised/structured.
So how do you guys run things at home?
I am thinking of drawing up a list of house rules to put up - does anyone have any experience of this working. Older dc's bicker like mad, and i soooo want it o stop.
House looks clean and tidy enough - but that is because our bedroom is a bombsite (all homeless stuff and washing lives there).
Do any of you with loads of kids eveer really get on top of the housework? If so, how?
Would love to hear how others get on!

As one of a 5-sibling set, I can tell you that the go-with-the-flow approach works with certain character types in my opinion. I was a bit of a loner as a child, always craved my own space, some peace and quiet and often felt put upon as an obedient child. I was posessive of my own things (most things had to be shared or were hand-me-downs) which has taken years to put into perspective as an adult.

We were close with a couple of other large families who were run as tight ships. They seemed to work well, but actually in both cases the parents divorced. I guess, hapless and chaotic as our family was, my parents loved each other and were happy.

I was just a weird kid

Good luck ttc#5

I know families who live in total chaos who are never in the right place at the right time with the right things. But I also know families who are extremely structured and organised, and I flit between admiring them and wondering if they should unclench a little.

I have just four (for now ) and we seem to muddle through. I'm never quite as organised as I'd like to be, and the house is never quite as tidy as I'd like it to be, but we get by and we're generally all very happy with that.

I have five.

when they were all tiny, I ran a tight ship. was very organised, all school stuff was sorted the night before, housework was kept on top of (I did at least one room per day, toilets were cleaned as I went to bed, hoovering certainly done daily etc).

now my are older I am finding I am relaxing more. lunch boxes during the school week are still done the night before, and toilets are still cleaned as I go to bed, and washing is still kept on top of, but as for everything else......well, as long as the house is clean I am more relaxed about the mess (well, I say that.......I do still like it tidy so we all do our bit still!).

mine all have a lot of activities tho, plus obviously school, so we work to a time-table all the time........it carries thru with the house. plus, I am one of those mums who like to know what is happening, when, with who......tis my personality (and the childrens too).

I do think that you need to have some type f routine with many children. It stands to reason really otherwise you will never get organised to go anywhere. but if it is just not you, then writing a list of jobs that MUST be done each day and pinning them up for people to tick off as they do might well be enough for your family

((oh, one tip.........you need the older children on board for the list........mine are and it makes for a more peaceful house. oh, and with a list, I shout less as they can choose their job and get on when they are happy to IYGWIM))

I am not naturally an organised person. But with 6 dc's 10 and under I have had had to be. Yes I'd say this ship is quite tightly run, but I fear it is sinking anyway.

I am expecting no 5 in August.

I long to be like psycho

i have 4, 2 under 3 and i run a tight ship particularly weekdays. routine is crucial, it means my kids know what i expect of them.
i spend the mornings i dont work doing housework, then in the summer its outside in the garden.
i dont spend hours cooking, lifes too short. i use the microwave daily, but do make sure we all eat healthily. my house is clean and tidy, all the kids tidy up after themselves, and no toys in the lounge after 6, thats adult time.
at weekends we relax abit more, try and go in the garden as much as possible.
not everyones cup of tea, but works for us

jsut checking in will type later

Hi
i think i might take it slowly with the aim of being a bit more with it by the time no5 is here. The house is pretty clean and tidy - but this is more down to a few frenzied moments than structure! I think if a newborn landed on my lap tomorrow i would be thrown into a state of utter chaos pretty quickly!
I cant bear dirt and mess so i find it difficult when it gets too dirty, (not having time to clean the oven/mop the floor etc)> Seriously considering a cleaner, esp with dc5, but cant justify the expense as we are not terribly rich and i would be at home!
Maybe i will try and get a small routine going, alongside the breakfast/school run. Hmmm!
Do your dh's help much with childcare/cleaning/fighting kids?

not really, i do all the cleaning, but if hes around he will spend time with the kids. like you i like my house tidy.thats why i like them when they are all walking.kick em in the garden with toys and a sandpit and i can do my housework,gives me time to play with them later

tight ship!

i am not content unless there is order - we just keep on top of stuff all the time

i do toy culls ( scrub that i would say i buy sparingly - add to collections of what they love)

work my way round kids bedding systematically

try to concentrate on school work and pressing them to do it - according to 'need'

roomba is a good one and has really made a difference to me since having number 6

food - they HAVE to be good eaters!

clothes i have an ironer - life is too short!

SuziSeis - agree with the food thing sooo much - i couldnt hack a fussy eater. I cook what i cook and if you dont like it go hungry! (Although dc3 is going through a bit of a not eating phase at the mo!).
I would love to have an ironer, but cant justify that to dh - so he irons his own clothes and i dont iron anything .
I like things to be ironed, but not so much that i stand over the ironing board, just have other thing to do!

tummytickler look about

my ironer does 2 bulging ikea bags a week and charges £5.00 sometimes less very rarely more

I don;t have the good fortune to be able to be strict with food.

three of mine have food allergies/intolerances, and I am severely allergic to many foods.

I have got used to doing three meals at dinner times now

you need a mixture of both in my view (5dcs) work days I am organised, days at home I need to spend doing housework and dont play with tow liitles as much as a I feel I should ( ie hardly ever) Activites for older three need to be mananged on a sensible whats possible basis. always need to be on top of food - teaching older two to do a bit of cooking helps - and do a gigiantic washing sort out once a week and iron
have a cleaner once a week which would tohroughly recommend
but you need to let go in the hols otherwise oyu just get stressed about mess and never let them relax and have fun

tonight ds1 cooked !!!
woohoo !

it was tortilla ( spanish omelette) but with much more roasted veg on one side than the other to suit differernt temperaments!

Tight ship, go with the flow...erm more like organised chaos. We have rules, shoes in the box, coats hung up, only one toy out at a time, room tidied on saturdays, the elder 4 have a chore schedule, the food we cook has to be eaten but we do cater to likes and dislikes to a certain degree, we have to be strict to keep things from getting out of hand but flexible enough to keep ourselves from going crazy because sometimes things just dont go according to schedule!

SuziSeis -- what is a roomba?...I aspire to a tight ship...but find it painful to achieve. I look at friends of mine with big families who do the relaxed thing and the kids seem to be having more fun...I think though that a tight ship is necessary just to get out the door in the morning...we let it all hang out at weekends and holidays..Would be interested to hear more of the chore rota mentioned.

I am due no 6 anytime and I think it depends on my mood .
We are laid back but I do like to keep on top of things .
I have found that the slatterns thread has helped me a lot my whole routine has changed and house is a lot cleaner tidier .

Basically things that help me is little things

Keeping all the school uniform separate so you can find it quicker

I do the bathroom once a week but give it a quick wip round everyday it takes 5 mins.

Toilets at night.

I am lucky because dp helps a lot .

Good luck with TTC.

i run a tight ship!, but the ships on a cruise! rooms must be kept tidy, kids do chores, for which they get extra pocket money.older kids have clubs to go to ,which frees up the toddler 1-1 time. routeen and organisation is a must... its the only way to be here as we have a 3 bedroom flat and hardly any storage space. homework is done as it is given(same night) but apart from that things are pretty relaxed, ... everything is stored in plastic boxes and labeled. Girls room- hair stuff- straigtners, dryers ,brushes,bobles,slides,bands products....inbox under bed. shoes in boxes under bed , socks in box in drawer, ect . kitchen - baking trays ,ect - in box in cupboard. cleaning stuff -in box in cupboard.medicines- in box in cupboard high up...DH says if we ever move we wont have to pack apart from the clothes, as everythings already in boxes! lol

We don't have house rules but the big ones are expected to empty the dishwasher, set the table and not leave their stuff strewn about too much. I have also recently taught them how to strip and re-make their beds. And I am pretty strict about no eating other than at the table which cuts down on work enormously.

How old are you children?

My 4 are 17, 13, 3 and 1.

Mine are 10, 8, 7 and 2. A lot of the time is feels like herding cats. We do have to stand over them to gte out in the morning and we have to have time targets, eg dressed by 7, fed, teeth shoes etc on by 7.10 otherwise we cannot get out by 7.30...not sure what happens in the last 20 mins

Mine are 7 (8 in a coupleof weeks), 6, 3, and 21months.
I am trying to get them to do more. the older two get pocket money on a Saturday evening but only if their bedrooms are tidy at supper time. If one is not clean the other can earn their pocket money away form them by tidying their room for them!
"1month old is very keen on putting things in the bin and changing the settings on the washing machine .
Trying to build it up slowly!
I find it is easy to keep downstairs reasonably straight, but never have time to do anything upstairs, which is why we are drowning in washing (unironed!) waiting to be put away!

I've got 4 boys and run a tight ship during the week or we'd never get to school etc with everything everyone needs but then at the weekends, Saturday is a blurr of free-for-all chaos, it's fun, it's messy and it's exasperating, but on Sunday we find we pull together a bit more and things get done and it feels... (I hesitate to say "calmer" as that's somehting I've not experienced for years)... slightly less frenetic!
I'm good at keeping things reasonably straight in the house, esp downstairs,and that's more for dh's and my sanity (!) but upstairs seems to need constant supervision and we have drawn up some house rules for the older boys to keep their rooms in a decent state for at least 50% of the week!
Goes without saying that the laundry bin is never emptied, the ironing never finished and socks never matched up!