Struggling with lack of bond with oldest child

[ThisBrickBalonz]

I have 3 children - 8 year old boy, 5 year old girl and a baby boy

the oldest I just never bonded with at birth or since. I really try with him but just don’t feel the same way as I do about the younger two who i am absolutely crazy about.

I’m starting to resign myself to the fact that it might never happen with my eldest and it makes me so sad.

has anyone else found they have less of a bond with one of their children, did it get better?

please no judgement, I don’t treat him differently and can’t help how I feel

Did you have a more traumatic birth with your first? That can have an effect on bonding.

Do you spend much one on one time with your eldest? If not, I would make an effort to do that. Maybe some kind of weekly activity you could do together.

Parenting your first baby can be hard as figuring so much stuff out. Your feelings are probably tied up in that. Can you do a regular one to one activity with them so you spend happy times together and fake it til you make it?

You don't get to 'give up', you birthed him and so you continue to do everything you can to bond with him. I'm the dc my DM didn't bond with, i tried everything to please her and worked myself to the bone and suffered poor MH but in the end she slammed the door shut.