How to get children to clean up after themselves

[cookingonwine]

Okay, large family of 5 here and I am at my wits end.

Children are;

12 DD
11 DS
10 DS
9 DD
3 DS

None of the children pull their own weight. What chores should my children be doing? They can't or want empty their own rubbish bin.

At a lost.

have a chore chart, and decide on chores as a family weekly. we use this one, and at the start of every week we decide who is doing what. eg: dc1 is setting the table before dinner, dc2 is helping to dry the dishes etc. they change what chore they do each week (remind them of this if they aren't happy with the chore they are given). Whilst you are deciding on who is doing what chore, ask them to decide on a treat for if they all do their chores without complaining for 2 weeks. (you can give them a choice of 2 options, eg: 20 minutes extra screentime or 10 minutes later bedtime). every time they do their chore without complaining, give them a tick on the chart. all the best x

Fk. Go and have a cup of tea. You must be knackered.

What do you mean they can't or won't empty their bins?
Mine are 19, 15, 8 and 7 they don't really have set chores but if I ask them to do something I expect it to be done ASAP without much complaining.

Things they just do as second nature,
rinse their own dishes and put in the dishwasher,
empty lunch boxes,
Get changed straight from school and get uniform and kit ready for the next day,

I'd like to know how to get them to do ANYTHING! My older two are 7 and 5 but I'd just like them to make their beds and tidy toys away each day. But they'd rather live in a pigsty.

17,15, 13,12,10 +4
Week each of emptying the clean dishwasher.
Take turns dog walking, cleaning rabbits. Strip own beds. Organise own dirty washing into colour piles. Put clean away .
Tidy own rooms.
Nagged to keep shoes in the basket, hang towels, hoover rooms, brush ddogs.
Chance to earn extra spends always an option...

Tbh if you have let them get as old as 12 without lifting a finger i am guessing it will be difficult to now change that!

I have four - 11, 10, 6 & 2. Plus i am 31 weeks with DC5.

My eldest two ....

Put own washing for wash
Put own clean washing away
Help sort household washing
Empty bins (their own and others)
Take out recycling
Keep own rooms tidy
Strip and remake own beds
Hoover own bedrooms
Fully clear and clean the table from one meal each day
Help today main areas of the house
Help younger siblings tidy toys
Put away dry dishes
Put together own packed lunches (i make sandwiches)

They will also do odd jobs when requested

My 12 year old is awful- says he doesn’t want to help/ won’t help
I’m reading with interest as it’s my fault I have let him be lazy

Thank you for replying all ...

I feel like I am living on a rollercoaster... things plod along fine ... then things build up and then I start nagging which doesn't help.

This week, I went into DD12, DS11 &DD9 bedrooms and they had at least 3 towels on the floor ... so at least 9 towels had to bed washed today. DS10 bedroom was fine as he is pretty hygienic and carries out most tasks without complaining.

I think going back to basics of having a family meeting will help!

You need to get things drilled in and embedded in daily routine.

Here there is no screen time unless dirty washing is in basket, clean washing away and bedroom tidy

I got fed up with charts, rewards, “oh but I did it last time”.

So now they just must listen to what I told them to do.
No discussions and I don’t care who did what last.

If I determine someone is not listening - phone is taken away.

If ALL are good, ALL get a reward. If one messes up, no one gets anything. Tough, but they have learned that they need to work as a team.

Found that this is the only way for us.

Towels is a perennial battle for me but what i do is:
They have one towel that is theirs, if they have to pick it off the floor to shower then fine but they don't get another out (we don't wash towels after every use)
If i see the towel on the floor I call them from whatever they are doing to come and pick it up right NOW not "later" that way, you wont get to 9 towels
In the 9 towel instance I would be making sure that they were the ones to bring them down, load the machine, hang them out etc

Mine are 12 & 14, they put clothes in the washbasket , load dishwasher, lay table, get drinks for dinner, dry up after clearing table and should put away own washing altough that one's not going too well. They get their own breakfast and clear away afterwards and can make their own packed lunches. They also strip bed and remake it with assistance from me. During the holidays, I try to get them to help me with cooking dinner (they take turns as would argue if in kitchen at same time!). We're away camping soon, they'll wash and dry up and help with some food prep, keep the water bottle filled, help put up the tent etc - i go with a friend and her children of a similar age who do absolutely none of the above and the difference is gob smacking. They need to learn these skills as part of maturing into an adult though its bloody hard, nagging work at times

My 3 year old cleans off his dishes (food in trash, rinse off dish, puts in sink or loads to dishwasher), puts clothes away and in hamper, feeds animals each morning and night, cleans up his spills, puts toys away (key is to have a home for each and every toy) and other various things when asked! I just lead by example, it’s just what you do :) he’ll even help me load and unload dish washer and washer/dryer! He turned 3 last month

My Dds (11, 8 & 6) set the table, clear the table, load and unload the dishwasher, hang out washing, bring washing down (I have taught 11 year old how to work the machine, although she doesn't do it herself just yet), fold Washing and put it away. The younger one polishes (badly, but she does it). The tidy their own rooms (sometimes), make their beds and hoover. The 11 year old had been known to clean their bathroom (badly lol). They also empty bedroom bins and take out the recycling. None of this is on a rota, we just ask them to help out sometimes.