Number 4? Please Help Me Decide!

[sarahpenrose2606]

I am driving myself crazy trying to decide whether to try for another child in the new year. I am 37 with 3 children aged 6.6, 4.6 and 2.9. We moved to a great house (which needs renovation) a year ago. We have 2 dogs and 2 cars and keep chickens so there’s plenty to do. I feel unfinished. I also feel it’s now or never with my age as well as the gap with my youngest. I am so torn and one day 100%, the next not so sure. I would have to persuade my husband too and it feels like this is the biggest risk, as I would always be the one who made it happen and responsible for any extra stress! Help me decide I need to sort this or I will go mad! Thanks for any advice!

I stuck at 2 and would never have chosen any more than that for financial and time reasons. I can't see how you can give four children individual attention and unless wealthy put them through uni, take them abroad on holidays or help with driving lessons and house deposits. My boss had four kids and is still working at almost 60 as the youngest is still in uni. No sign of being able to retire and cannot spend much time with DGS. DH and I retired at 58 and enjoy helping out with DGDs. Each to their own though.

I have 4dc, from 6 to 6 weeks, we debated a lot about number 4, the pregnancy was tough but they have fitted right in and was like they were always here. I'm now 100% happy that I'm finished and gladly giving away baby things as I finish with them.

Cornishclio, the requirements in terms of attention with four changes to be honest. They have each other as well as us. I grew up with one sister and we hated each other as children so focused mostly on our parents. I can see already that’s not the case with my 4, they are a gang and when one falls out with another there’s still 2 more siblings to play with. It’s just a different dynamic and balance than a two child family.

What you say about finances is rather narrow minded and unfair because the exact same lack of funding applies to the vast majority of one and two child families in the country who can’t afford uni, deposits, foreign holidays etc for their kids.

We went for number 4 and ended up with twins. Just something to consider 

In case anyone is following this and are also in this process of deciding, have now reached a decision with my husband that we just need a month to check all OK with his work and I came off pull today in preparation...

Good luck! For us, number four was the best decision we’ve made.

Thanks ! I just re read and realised I wrote 'come of the pull' (Freudian slip?!) Fingers crossed.. although the way my three are behaving at the moment, not sure !

My no 3 is 3.5 now and although I'd love another, I think this will be us.

I think I already feel tired and busy enough that it wouldn't be right for me or the dc, (or possibly my marriage/ sanity). DH is a SAHD too, so he might want to go back to work sometime.

How did you find dc3 fitting in? I’m unexpectedly pg with dc3 and absolutely bricking it. Dc are 6 and 2 at the moment, any tips?

Congratulations on number 3! I found the logistics of 3 a challenge because I couldn't drive at that point. It's all a bit of a blur really, but we managed! My boys were 3.9 and 21 months this when my daughter was born and I just remember a LOT of walking with a double pushchair (Phil and teds explorer) . I also found snacks all the time pretty helpful ( rice cakes and flapjacks! ) Also, a soft sling was a life saver as I could breastfeeding while reading to the others. When are you due?

Update here. Just found out I’m pregnant with #4! Watch this space ...

Wowers @shouldntbeonhereagain

Congrats!

Thanks PaulHollywoodsSexGut. It’s all pretty surreal here ! Feels like a weird dream as it’s all so fast. Super excited, but cautious! We’d been planning a final descion conversation as per previous posts. Husband came back from work today with flowers and a number “4” birthday card which just said ‘OK’ inside... I gave him the pregnancy tests!

What a lovely story! Congratulations! Perfect timing, then