How much one to one do you give your children?

[Tippytoes13]

Hi,
I have three children, 10, 5 and 1. The one year old is very needy at the moment, so I don't feel like my older two are getting much one to one at the moment. I do things in the evening with them individually for approx 30 minutes, but don't feel this is enough, am I being too hard on myself, or do you think they need more interaction from me?

I know how you feel! I have 4DC and struggle to give them individual time. I think 30mins each a day is actually quite a lot and you shouldn't be so hard on yourself.

I agree with pp to try not to expect so much of yourself! I just have 3 dc at the moment, dts on the way so I do think about this quite a lot. How about thinking about it less as a day on day alone time and more week by week or month by month? Do you have a partner and could you try to plan things to do with one dc at a time. The kids would know it was their turn for time with mummy/daddy and that could either be something fairly boring or something fun of their or your mutual choosing? I don't think I can very easily give each of them one to one time every day and am sure I won't be able to sustain something like that in future years, but dh and I can work out ways to give them more of a sense of quality time with each of us. It's not easy! But equally, sharing is a good life lesson to learned! I was the fourth of four children and wasn't jealous over time spent with others rather than me when growing up so can't be all bad!!!

When our DS's were younger, we would have a rota at the weekend, so each one would pick an activity at the weekend, and the 'free' weekend was something that we picked. All 3 knew that they had to take part, otherwise 'their' weekend was forfeit.

So, we have fantasic memories of Wigan Pier, Blackpool, Manchester Museum, Lyme Park etc. Sometimes it would be as simple as 1 park as opposed to another. As cheap as possible, TBH as we were skint.

The boys still talk about 'their' days, and how it made them feel special.

We recently had a full weekend with DS1 at a music festival, and he said it reminded him of our days out, and how, he at the time of the days out, thought he had our full attention. DS1 is 27 now, and I feel happy that he feels that because we took his and the others preferences into consideration, it was like 1:1

I have three too, there 7 4 and 1, I suppose I'm quite lucky in the 7 year old is at school , 4 year old in nursery afternoons so I can spend quality time with him in the morning as the baby has a long nap then, when 4 yr old is in nursery I have time for the baby one on one and I make time in the evening for the 7 yr old we do his reading and have cuddle chat in bed so it all works out here, the rest of the time there all shouting at me at the same time trying to get some attention