Expecting number 3, excited, any advice on starting again after big gap?

[Jackieharris]

Hi
I'm expecting much longed for number 3.

I always wanted 3 and had planned toget there whilst still in my 20s but life hasn't gone too smoothly so we've had to put off plans for a number of years so I'm now 34, will be 35 at birth.

My DS will turn 13 around due date, DD will be 7.9. As it's so early we haven't told them but they knew it was on the cards as we often discuss having another with them. Of course DD wants a sister and DS wants a brother so one is going to be disappointed!

Anyone out there with similar gaps? We obviously had quite a big gap with first two so used to different activities on different days etc and fights over cbbc vs cbeebies! Now they are older they pretty much do their own thing at home so we expect to have a fair bit of time for the newbie without the older ones feeling left out.

Another thing is that we have away all our baby stuff years ago so will have to start again from scratch! It's bewildering- prams and car seats are so different and so much more expensive than 13 years ago.

There is also the room sharing issue. DS and DD shared until a year and a half ago. They have got used to their own rooms now and we just couldn't put another one in with DS. DP thinks we should consider moving to a 4 bed but I think that's a huge expense considering the baby will be in with us for a while and DS could be going off to uni when the baby is 4/5. That would mean DD sharing until she is 11/12 which I don't think is too bad but with a big age gap and potentially different sex it could be a problem. But we have time to figure that one out.

Hi jackie. I will have similar age gaps. Im 20 weeks pregnant withban unplanned dd3. My other dds will be 13.10 and 7.8 when new baby is born. I wasn't happy initially but everyone is so excited that thankfully I am now as well. We have a 3 bed so will also have to think about bedroom sharing. It will prob be my 7 year old as my oldest needs her own space

Such similar gaps, frank!

My parents will think we are crazy- they just had one and that was more than enough for them.

I'm glad your pregnancy is going well.

Looking at this thread for words of wisdom myself! I've got 2dd's from a previous relationship, youngest is 8, now expecting no 3 ... Like jackie, wanted to have my babies closer together, but life gets in the way! I'm in a much happier relationship now, which is wonderful.

But have forgotten everything I ever learned about babies! Does it all come back to you?

Hope so!

Also hoping my dd's will share happily for a few more years... 4 bed not an imminent possibility for us. Must be tricky if they've already got used to having separate rooms.

I had my 3rd at 34. DS1 was 11 and DD 6. Same as op it was all start from scratch - had given everything away! It's nice having a big gap. DS2 is 12 now and DS1 has left home and DD is at uni so it's nice still having one at home - helps keep you young! As for bedrooms, we ended up buying a large shed and got it insulated, plastered, put double glazed window in and installed electricity and put DS1 out there. It would've been to difficult to get them to share! The older ones were great with their little brother - no jealousy, just lots of love and help! I do feel that DS3 is older than his years though - he is very mature in lots of ways! Good luck with it all

Guyropes - it all comes back to you but I found an awful lot of things had changed in perceived wisdom iyswim! Stuff like when to wean etc.

Yes, all the guidelines have changed.

With DS I was encouraged to wean at 4 months (some were doing it at 3 months) but I held off til 5 months. Now it seems I'll get told off if I dont ebf til 6 months!

Baby led weaning?? what the heck is that?

Drinking is a big no no (which isn't a problem as The hormones have left me with no taste for it) but 13 years ago I was encouraged by my gp to have a glass of wine in the evenings if it would help me relax!

What I am looking forward to though is these new prams with car seats attached. It was always a right pain in the bum having to wake up the baby every time we went in or out of the car. Getting about will be so much easier this time.

Hi Delilah, thanks for the reassurance! I think I've probably got a different attitude to parenting now... I hope I won't be too precious this time, but in my 20's I just seemed to take everything in my stride, didn't do much research, worried about very little, my catchphrase was 'we'll figure it out!' I remember people looking worriedly at me, and finding prams and stuff for me cos I didn't think I needed anything! They must have thought I was hopeless!

I'm quite looking forward to choosing things this time. ( having tested a LOT of different 2nd hand buggies last time, I'm convinced the mother care urban detour is the best... Hope it's still in circulation!)

I'm looking forward to the improved maternity leave!

P.s. I love the shed inspiration!

Sorry, I think I killed the thread... Any other lovely mners got some experiences to share?

Guyropes- there's just maybe not many of us around!

I am looking forward to choosing a pram this time. They were chosen for me both both the others so I ended up with useless things that broke my back. I want a lightweight travel system this time. Something with swivel wheels that I can get in and out of the car myself.

I don't want to waste money getting one new though- I'll maybe try out new ones in shops then look for the same model on gumtree. A £200 budget is realistic isn't it?

Oh definitely! I tried lots of 2nd hand buggies last time, mostly they cost a tenner or so, and I loved the mothercare urban detour. I think they have renamed it as 'xtreme' since then, and discontinued it, but I saw it new, boxed complete travel system for £170 I think, buy It now on eBay.

I'm not sure I'll need a travel system, as I don't drive that much.

So yes, I'm looking forward to picking the things I want too: I was clueless when I first became a mother, and I think I'll prepare better this time.

I've got some lovely wool, and I think I'm going to start knitting a blanket.....

I had my 3rd at almost 34 with a 14 and 10 year old Dd. Lots of things had changed, most of all me! I found myself analysing my decisions so much more, with the other 2 I just went with the-flow! Have loved it though DS now 18 months has definitely completed the family

Kca, that sounds lovely! Have your older dc adjusted well? I'm slightly worried about my younger dd being pushed off of her 'youngest' perch... She says she wishes she wasn't the youngest, but I think the reality might not be quite what she has in mind! It'll be a while before she can boss her dear sibling around, I think!

Yes I don't want dd to feel any negative 'middle child' vibes.

But she'll be almost 8 so she's had plenty of one to one time with us and has her own busy life now with school, hobbies, trips with Grans, sleepovers that I hope she doesn't feel too put out.

I drive everywhere so not having a travel system last time was a nightmare. So many times I was stuck sitting in the car with dd asleep in the car seat, unable to move her as she'd wake if I had to wrestle her from the car seat into the bulky 2 piece pram. It made the school run a pain too.

Hi. I have a 10 year old an 8 year old and a unplanned but much loved 2 year old. In some ways it was like bring a 1st time parent again as the older 2 were at school. Life is loud and busy but such fun too. The disadvantage with the age gap is having to drag dd3 on numerous school/club runs but I wouldn't change anything. Baby led weaning is basically bypassing purees and going straight onto finger foods.

I have a similar gap.

DD has had all the advantages of having 2 doting older siblings, but also having loads of attention from us - almost as if she were an only child.

The great thing about being old and experienced is that you sail through all the phases that caused anxiety the first time round. You get to enjoy the third one because you know that everything passes.

She did spend an awful lot of time being trailed round sporting events etc, but she didn't know any different and it made her very flexible and easygoing.

I had to replace all the baby stuff as I had given all mine away. I think I borrowed most of it - I know I didn't seem to need much!

We were very short of space and there was a great deal of swapping and sharing of bedrooms, but gradually we all got sorted out - the house was a building site for about 2 years.

The older ones were very good about playing with their little sister while I got the dinner cooked or whatever so that made life easier.

Congratulations!

Just realised you are only 34 OP.
I was 42 - hence my comment about being older!

I do feel like I'm enjoying this pg so far (notwithstanding feeling a bit nautious). It's the first one we've ttc for so that changes the dynamics.

Yes, I'll still be younger than a lot of the mums around here. That was something I found difficult last time. Even though I was late 20s the older mums treated me like a kid and weren't very nice.

I also had a big ish gap between the first 2 so we had the ferrying around problem then. Dd didn't like that. She wasn't a baby for sleeping on the go so it was very stressful. This time my eldest is old enough to take himself to and from school and all his activities are school based so no more waiting at classes! With the younger one we will either split the DCs between us or Gran will take her swimming.

I think they're going to be so happy when we eventually tell them.

Hi jackie, when are you due? im due in august, so still plenty of time to get ready.

I also remember feeling too old to be with the teenage mums, and too young to have much in common with the 30- something mums last time! Perhaps I'll fit in more this time? I'm 36 now. I might look into some pregnancy yoga or aqua-natal. Not convinced that antenatal class like NCT is right for me: think it's only really for first time mums? What do you think?

Forgot I posted on this post whoops. I am due end of may I will be 38 by then. Worried about my 7 year old as she is very clingy. I found going from 1 to 2 kids hard so hoping 3 will be a doddle!! Ive been given loads of lovely baby stuff so have most of the big items got.

Guy ropes, ive decided against nct classes for that same reason I shall look into doing something else

Just replying to your comment earlier about whether my middle one felt ousted as the youngest and to some extent I think she does,but she is absolutely brilliant with her 'baby' brother and he adores her so think that evens it out a little!

I have to admit I never went to any toddler groups with DD.
I enjoyed having her all to myself. I did go back to work when she was a year old, and did a training course for a couple of months before that.

She has been the easiest of the lot. Hardly a cross word in 16 years.

I'm due August/September, not sure yet.

I have 2 friends who are pregnant atm so I'm not the only one this time. Hopefully I will have more in common with other mums this time because I'm a bit older. I'm probably still quite young to be on my 3rd though. No one from school or uni has had 3 (yet).

I found one to two awful tbh. DC2 had reflux, was clingy and wouldn't sleep anywhere except her cot so I felt like a prisoner. Being a single mum to dc1 was a doddle in comparison. That's why I'm not planning on taking much maternity leave this time. I want another dc because I want another child not another baby iykwim?

I never did nct classes and don't think I'd fit in going with a 3rd pregnancy. I would like to make some 'mummy' friends though. So I'm going to look into aqua natal, that kind of thing.

My dp is a 3rd dc and is quite stereotypical-easygoing, gsoh, hopefully this one won't be the stress machine dc1 is!

Congrats! I too am going to have a fairly big gap between DCs, and will also be relatively young to have three, at 32. DD is 11, DS is 5(almost6) and I'm due DC3 in May.
Wanted another child very soon after DS was born but as with everyone life got in the way but we decided to bite the bullet and go for number three. Very excited and loving being able to enjoy the pregnancy with our other kids. They love chatting to my bump, and DD is crocheting granny squares for a baby blanket :) oh and DD also wants a girl, and DS a boy. Surprise yellow bump here so we will need to wait and see who lucks out
I am worried about the thought of my DS not being the "baby" anymore and how I'll cope with a teenager and a toddler but am sure everything will fall into place. Don't know how we managed our DD at 21 but we did, so hopefully we'll manage again with the benefit of some experience under our belts :) both children were very easy babies though so fingers crossed number three is too!

As for the travel system chat, I've actually broken with tradition and not bought one this time! Had one for both the first two but decided to just get a combi car seat this time that goes from birth to age 4. Much cheaper in the long run. Hopefully moving baby from car to pram etc won't be too much of an issue.