How does a 3rd baby/child change things?

[Molotov]

It's me again (usually here as MolotovCocktail), still deliberating as to whether to try for baby #3 (have been umming and ahhing since January).

Dh is really keen. I'm dithering for lots of reasons, and the main onea are:

• How will I physically keep up with my very active 5yo and 2yo dds whilst pg?
• A 3rd baby means a 2nd ELCS for me (dd1 born vaginally in 2009; dd2 ELCS 2012). CS was fine but knocked me about for a few weeks. Also worried about developing an overhang after 3 babies and 2 csecs.
• I worry a lot and know risks go up after each csec, so I worry about placenta praevia and accreta (I am a born worrier. It is not fun and completely exhausting)

We have 2 beautiful dds - themselves not easy to conceive. Dd2 took 2y and 6 cycles of clomid.

If I did get pg, how would another child impact upon their relationship? They love each other, but bicker terribly at times. How would I split my time between them?

Some days are challenging. I'm sure it's their ages and things should get easier once dd2 turns the next corner in her development (speech/empathy/understanding). If we were to ttc again, it would probably be in the summer so if by some miracle I became pg immediately, dd2 would be at nursery every morning (or close to it) with a newborn at home. That worked well last time.

Sorry, I'm waffling. Did I mention we would have to move house?

I just cant seem to make my mind up one way or the other and it's driving me a bit mad. Not in a bad way - we have 2 children and I'm so thankful for them. No, just mad in the sense that I'd like to either get on with it, or push the idea out of my mind and be done with having babies, iyswim. To stop wistfully looking at my belly and wondering.

I kind of like the fact that my girls are growing together and that dd2 is becoming a child and interacting more with her big sis. Yet, I feel a pang of sadness that it's soon to be time again to put the nappies, pushchairs and daytime naps to bed.

Oh, please help! (Last time I ever start a thread about this, honest )

[Molotov]

*finality, that should have read

[Sootball]

Hey Molotov

I've posted on here before.......sounds like a decision is in the process of happening?

I've name changed by the way - got outed in RL!

[workingonitagain]

On a more serious note tho i feel going from 2 to 3 is a lot bigger jump than 1-2! I had 3 at home for the first year. I have never felt so exhausted in my life and always used to think women who cry because they struggle with their lo are must be very weak. My middle child ds2 who just turned 2 when ds3 arrived is my most challanging child up to date. Ds3 will be 1 in nov and just recently as he started crawling i feel that things have started to get easier. It doesn't change the fact that ds2 can't be left alone with him as he is vert rough! So yes it is very hard work although i can imagine it would be a bit less violent with girls tho! It would also be super rewarding ( i can only assume this at this stage once they are older and play nicely together and hopefully turn out nice little people!

[shinynewname]

[Molotov]

@ shiny

[shinynewname]

Oh if it helps any I had an unplanned CS then a VBAC and still have an overhang anyway.

It gets better if I lose weight, not been doing that so much at the moment though :(

I have 2 DS so will probably be inundated with the "oh are you trying for a girl" and also a fair bit of "WTF are you mad" from some quarters.

I am a fellow worrier and I can think of lots of things to worry about.

What it it's twins!

What if we have a child with additional needs, can we cope with that too?

What if they don't sleep well till age 2 like DS2?

[shinynewname]

I was going to ask if you were molotovcocktail then re-read your OP

I have been seeing you posting for years I think.

I have namechanged as my usual name has too much identifiable stuff I think.

[lostlalaloopsy]

I am 37 weeks pregnant with our third. DH and I discussed trying for number 3 at Christmas and decided to wait for another year to decide, but fate had other ideas as I was already pregnant.

I already have dd who is 5 and ds who is 2 1/2. I am worried about how I'll cope especially with school run, I was like you where we were really undecided so glad that it just happened. My dd is is excited already about the "new baby", she is saving her pennies to buy baby a present - she is desperate for a sister though! Ds is pretty much clueless, but does kiss my belly goodnight.

This will be my 3rd c section, both dcs were EMCS. I think that's what I'm most nervous about, but I am looking forward to pregnancy being over - this has been the most difficult as I managed to avoid morning sickness both times before.

I'll report back in 3 weeks to let you know how it's gone!

[Not2bObvious]

Just had to join in after being referred from the thread on chat. I'm nearly 40, with 2 dd, nearly 6 and nearly 10. I was convinced I didn't want a 3rd but I think now it was a bit of "I think the lady doth protest too much..." In vino veritas over the weekend I confessed to dh I desperately want a 3rd, only realised how much until I said it out loud! Took my last pill Friday night and first folic acid Saturday My ages terrifies me, as does the fact I've had an mc in the past. But I can't leave it any longer. We've said we'll give it 6-7 months, basically I want to have a baby before I turned 41 or at the very worst by the end of next year. I'm excited/terrified/excited all at the same time!
I've decided I'm not allowing myself think of any negatives right now, times not on my side for doubts, spent long enough doubting. Really hoping for a miracle over the next 6 months, will be keeping an eye on this thread, lovely to hear nice stories and know I'm not on my own

[shinynewname]

Good luck not2!

[Sootball]

Good luck not2 ans lostlalaloopsy

[weatherall]

not2bobvious I have similar ages DCs to you and really want a 3rd.

It is scary going back to the start but I know I'll regret it if I don't.

[Molotov]

Lots of lovely new posts on here tonight

We didn't seriously ttc this month. I think I ov'd on Friday (CD#13), but we last had unprotected sex on CD#9 not that I am counting!

I would love a surprise. I knew I was probably ovulating on Friday and immediately regretted not taking a chance afterwards (heart-rule).

Then I bought dd1's new school uniform supplies over the weekend (around £95). Will have to do some of that next year when dd2 starts nursery (will recycle some uniforms) ... factor in another child and you're seriously looking at £250 minimum before each new academic year (head-rule).

Christmas x3 ... but three little faces around the Christmas tree

I keep seeing my daughters together and starting to visualise just one more ...
but:

How will I keep up the two of them after being up with a newborn all night?

One more pg and birth ...

It's occupying too much of my mind atm, and I'm scared of wanting it too much because of last time.

I did find myself glancing at maternity clothes and admired a new pram and car seat whilst out last week.

[Not2bObvious]

Thanks for the warm welcome and kind wishes.
Molotov I been doing that looking at prams, buggies, babies, smiling stupidly at them and I only decided on Friday

[shinynewname]

Yeah, if we do ever decide to go for it, I will definitely make myself be more relaxed and 'if it happens, it happens' if possible while carefully checking my chart.

I got too down each month last time and I'll have no time for that with 2 already running around.

Honest.

[Molotov]

I currently drive an MPV that I will exchange early next year. Part of me wants a smaller fancier car but this other bit of me knows I won't fit 3 kids and a pram in one of those; a newer version of something like I already have would be more prudent ... (heart and head in tandem, that).

[Sootball]

I may have recently traded my buggy in for a model which can be adapted to a double. Ahem. Forward planning methinks.

[skylerwhite1]

My mother always says that you never regret a baby. That is so true, you just find a bit of room in your heart and they fit right in. Go for it x

[weatherall]

Oh yes, it gets me, waking past pram shops.

They are so fancy now compared to 12 years ago.

No more back breakers!

And all these new slings!

Although it's been so long I don't think I'd know what to do with a toddler. It's been over 4 years since I've changed a nappy.

[Iwillorderthefood]

Hi I am 8 weeks into my third DD, the others are 8.5 and 5. I am 40" this was the easiest pregnancy and birth (despite it being an induction). This was a total surprise to us, I thought I was menopausal, my periods were changing and so on. It is lovely, although please note that I do not have the age gaps that you would have. Both girls were at school for the first few weeks, so that was great.

The most difficult parts are bedtime and meal times. School run is fine, feed baby before you go, and the pram lulls them into sleep so not an issue.

I go to bed with the baby, just after my older ones go, so maximise the amount of sleep.

Also an unexpected bonus us that midwives and health visitors actually leave you alone, they do their checks and give advice where needed, but when I told them what I planned to do, they did not feel the need. To interfere, unlike for my first two.

[Iwillorderthefood]

Oh and we had to change our car, and it is likely we will need to move house.

[Not2bObvious]

Congrats Iwill, that's so great to hear how it's all fitting together! Oh I really hope to have good news in the coming year!!!

[Sootball]

Can't share this craziness anywhere else so maybe it'll give someone a giggle.

DD1's birthday was last week, she was given a beautiful all talking, giggling, crying baby doll. Its really sweet (for a doll) and she has taken to it like a duck to water (I had to read it a story last night at bedtime as dd1 demanded it needed it) - dd1 has called it Maisie.

Anyway - sitting there this morning, dd1 and dd2 were eating breakfast and this blooming doll starts crying, dd1 jumped down picked it up and brought it to me to cuddle while she finished her breakfast. DH gave me a 'look' which said I think we could do this and we could be a family of five just fine.

[Molotov]

Soot my dd's Baby Annabel dolls are a substitute baby for me. I tuck Annabel into my breast; say 'there, there' and it's lovely with '3' girls

Yeah, I can totally do this!

I need an Annabel who throws tantrums, or scribbles on the wall with felt-tips. Or, who will NOT lie down when a nappy needs changing. Then I will know if I can really handle 3!

[Sootball]

Oh Molotov what are we going to do eh?

My head is in my hands, my ovaries are begging me to give them one last chance, my 14mo is bouncing around her cot and I can hear that Maisie doll bawling away downstairs as someone has clearly left her switched on. WHile the 4yo is begging for anovver stooooorry!

And DH went out.