How does a 3rd baby/child change things?

[Molotov]

It's me again (usually here as MolotovCocktail), still deliberating as to whether to try for baby #3 (have been umming and ahhing since January).

Dh is really keen. I'm dithering for lots of reasons, and the main onea are:

• How will I physically keep up with my very active 5yo and 2yo dds whilst pg?
• A 3rd baby means a 2nd ELCS for me (dd1 born vaginally in 2009; dd2 ELCS 2012). CS was fine but knocked me about for a few weeks. Also worried about developing an overhang after 3 babies and 2 csecs.
• I worry a lot and know risks go up after each csec, so I worry about placenta praevia and accreta (I am a born worrier. It is not fun and completely exhausting)

We have 2 beautiful dds - themselves not easy to conceive. Dd2 took 2y and 6 cycles of clomid.

If I did get pg, how would another child impact upon their relationship? They love each other, but bicker terribly at times. How would I split my time between them?

Some days are challenging. I'm sure it's their ages and things should get easier once dd2 turns the next corner in her development (speech/empathy/understanding). If we were to ttc again, it would probably be in the summer so if by some miracle I became pg immediately, dd2 would be at nursery every morning (or close to it) with a newborn at home. That worked well last time.

Sorry, I'm waffling. Did I mention we would have to move house?

I just cant seem to make my mind up one way or the other and it's driving me a bit mad. Not in a bad way - we have 2 children and I'm so thankful for them. No, just mad in the sense that I'd like to either get on with it, or push the idea out of my mind and be done with having babies, iyswim. To stop wistfully looking at my belly and wondering.

I kind of like the fact that my girls are growing together and that dd2 is becoming a child and interacting more with her big sis. Yet, I feel a pang of sadness that it's soon to be time again to put the nappies, pushchairs and daytime naps to bed.

Oh, please help! (Last time I ever start a thread about this, honest )

[TheImprobableGirl]

Huge congrats molotov
We firmly decided on dd3 but unfortunately it wasn’t that easy! We’ve been trying 18 months and due to start treatment in April- strange how it all happens!

[ladybirdsaredotty]

Mummytwoh I was scared about that too. Mine are 6, 3 (nearly 4) and newborn. I've done the school run solo a few times now. I get up (well, sometimes I'm already awake with DS 😉) at 6am and make sure I have clothes/stuff for school ready the night before. Weirdly we've actualy been earlier than we were when I only have 2 and I don't find it as stressful, possibly because I expect it to be chaos! Honestly, you'll be fine. Good luck! ☺

[mummytwoh]

Awww I remember this post.

I'm currently 35 weeks pregnant with number 3! DS is 5 DD is 3.
I'm currently so exhausted it's ridiculous- I'm slightly panicking about number 3s arrival. I mean how on earth do you leave the house & do a school run?
How do I do 2 lots of homework?
Always knew I wanted 3 but am slightly concerned how I'm going to manage it without a breakdown if I'm honest.

[Sevendown]

Congratulations!

I remember you from threads where we were both pondering having dc3.

Mine is now 2 and my angel!

[ifnotnowtenwhen]

Oh how lovely

[ladybirdsaredotty]

Ha i have just remembered this thread! Not sure if I posted on it but I loved reading it when I was obsessing about whether or not to have a third. It helped to know i wasn't alone! Anyway, I'm now holding 5 week old DC3 as i write this! I LOVE having 3 so far

Hope everyone else deliberating came to a decision that they are happy with, too!

[caroldeckershair]

Oh congratulations! I can’t believe you have a 1yo (I’m roverrange).

I’m so pleased you finally have your little —big— family complete!

[D886]

Hello, it's Molotov here under the name of a 1980s car reg plate (of course!)

Dc3 - our ds - will be 1yo next month. He's gorgeous; his sisters adore him and I can honestly say that he has completed our family. I do not feel like anyone is missing and we are satisfied and realise we are blessed to have 3dcs.

I won't lie - life isn't as easy at the moment. Ds has severe reflux and the house is upside down more than I'd like. I'm dog-tired at the end of each day when my DH isn't around ... but I don't regret a thing. I know that things were easier 6m ago and will be easier again in another 6m; this stage is a phase. I wouldn't be without my daughters and son.

[roverrange]

I wondered how you are motolov? I name changed loads, but was with you on many threads wondering about no3.

Genuinely hope all is well

[Kayleighann]

Congratulations Molotov that's great news. I'm glad u made ur decision

2 years on and I'm still in limbo! it seems when searching these threads that ppl undecided on a third always end up going for a third. I think once it's in our heads it's hard to get out.

I visited my friend yesterday who has a newborn, it made me want one even more! Only downside was I forgot how much attention they need constantly and as I watched her holding...rocking...feeding....changing... I thought how will I have time for my other 2 children if I have another !

Will I ever decide ?! I'm not sure! I will probably be back on this thread in 5 years time still wondering what if

[AWhistlingWoman]

Congratulations Molotov

I remember following this thread with interest when my DC3 was tiny still! I love having three and I'm sure you will too

[TallRedhead]

Yay!!! We have just decided to have number 3 after being adamant we would stop at 2.
Congrats.
How exciting

[QueenMolotov]

How funny that this thread has reappeared! I was going to search for it to report that ... I am pregnant!!!

It's still really early days; I'm almost 5w. I found out on Sunday and must admit was quite shocked, mostly because it only took 3m of not trying very hard at all to conceive! But that has given way to feeling very excited - we all are

[TallRedhead]

Searching for inspiration for & against number 3. Are you pregnant yet?

[Talkmeoutofthis222]

Oh well done. When I saw this thread had got going again I hoped you'd be ttc or have a bfp!

[QueenMolotov]

Congratulations Zippy, and thanks Can Have I really been procrastinating for that long? ... ... Jesus, I have!

We didn't conceive last month (am on CD6 of cycle 2) but will give it another go this month. I kept having doubts yesterday (of the doomy kind) but I have to keep reminding myself that 2nd CS's are common, things will probably be okay, we will move house next year regardless of whether I'm pg or not because 2 growing girls in a 2 bed cottage doesn't work that well anyway.

I just going to push the negative thoughts away because I don't think I'll be at peace unless we try, you know? I'll always see think of that little child who could have been.

[shushpenfold]

We had every intention of having just 2 but realised that someone was missing....simply that.

Its not easy with 3 in the beginning and suddenly holidays and cars are more complicated; family rooms are 2 plus 2 and when teenage, 3 rooms looks inevitable. Cars are filled, fast and if you need to take an extra child anywhere, unless you have 7 seats, you;re stuffed. Wouldn't change it for a moment though and for exactly the reason that was mentioned above.....it's loud, chaotic, busy and full. 2 seemed easy, 3 isn't but it's a whole lot more fun. xx

[CanIKondo]

Yeah Molotov! Well done on making a decision. I was on a thread with you about whether to have a third DC a long time ago, (with a different name I think) and my DC3 is now 2 and is lovely. I had similar sized gaps to you and it's worked out just fine.
Congratulations Zippy!

[zippyswife]

Can't remember if I posted an update on my situation. Anyway. I wavered for some time (dcs 5&3) and now I'm 28 weeks with dc3. I've mainly been very positive and excited about the pregnancy. I've had a few wobbles where I feel guilty that I've somehow made a mistake and I won't be able to be as good a mum when I'm stretched with a third but on the whole I'm excited. Good luck to all those ttc and making the decision. Either way it's not easy!

[TheImprobableGirl]

Molotov!! Well done you :)

I have booked to have the implant out, so will no doubt be alongside you very soon :) :)

[QueenMolotov]

Seeing as the thread has been having posts again, my news is that ... we are ttc! This month is our first go and I'm a week into the 2ww.

I have just constantly thought about having another child, despite some reservations, and think I'll regret it in years to come if we don't at least try. I can see my dds with a baby, walking together with a pram. I can visualise our family with another dc and it is nice. My dds will be at least 7 and 4; maybe 8 and 5 if another baby comes. I think I'm happy to try for one year as the age gaps will be too big (for us) over 8 and 5y. I also couldn't have ttc as a prolonged affair again, so it will either happen, or not. We will either have dc3, or I will put the idea to bed knowing it wasn't to be and that we tried.

Best of luck to everyone x

[TheImprobableGirl]

Back again wavering dd2 is 18mo and dd1 has just starter school so we are having the number 3 discussion again.... Sigh

I keep thinking of the downsides such as needing a bigger car to fit in the booster, carseat 1 and babyseat 2... But how much bigger would it really need to be? Certainly it would be too tight in my Clio but would I have to go to a bus?!

And the house.... Well we need a bigger house anyway... And Dh has just been offered manager position at his new job which is good £'s. . . The arguments against have got less and less.

I think I will have to review my posts last year and see what my issues were then!

[RNBrie]

I'm late to this thread but I want to join!! We have 2 dc, can't decide about number 3. House is a bit small, we don't have a lot of money, two is quite a challenge but I'd really like another child rather than another baby...

[Lightbulbon]

Yes I had dc3 because even though I knew the early years would be hard that in the long run I want 3+ adult dcs.

The gap is so big that BT the time dc3 starts school the eldest will be away at uni so the 'holidays /cars etc not being designed for 3dcs doesn't really apply to us. It is totally different to families with 3 in 5 ish years which seems to be a typical pattern.

[Kayleighann]

I agree arich, I do feel so lucky to have my 2 but then I look around and most of my friends have 3 + children. At the school gates ppl seem to have more and more children these days,some family's have 5 or more so 3 doesn't seem to be such a big number.
Ppl have said to me that 3 is the hardest one to decide because everything is made for 2 kids and 3 throws everything off balance.

I was talking to a lady yesterday and she was mid 40's and has 3 children all with 5 years between each one. So oldest 15 youngest 5. She said she is to old to have anymore but if she had her time again she would defiantly of had more.
I just don't want to get older and feel like that and be full of regret.