How do you hold it all together if you are a single parent or

[cinders005]

have a not very hands on partner.
I have two infant school aged children and a 12 week dd. Dh is out at work from 6am to 8pm most days. He is no help in the evenings and at weekends much of his time is spent on hobbies. 1 full day every 2nd weekend out of house for starters.
Sinnce having dd he has probably changed fewer than 5 nappies. He also took very little leave. We only had one week day at home before he returned to work after my section.
As a result I am finding it really hard to keep on top of things. I know I am a mug to do it but the ironing will not go down. I just about gets basic housework done but thats it.
How do other people cope?
I know I also need to get him to help more when at home. O and I do all the nights as breastfeeding.

Not sure I can help you get your dh more involved, I assume that you've told him how you feel? Please don't feel as if you have to do everything, you somehow need to show your dh that it's just not possible.

After my third child I pretty much gave up ironing, just give the clothes a shake as they come out of the machine and they're fine. If your dh needs ironed shirts then I suggest that you let him do them himself. DO NOT DO THEM FOR HIM! Point out that you simply don't have the time.
If you have the money then can you pay for a cleaner? If there's money (and more importantly time) for 'hobbies' then there's money for a cleaner.

Tell him that if he doesn't get his arse into gear and help you out more then YOU will be going off out for the day every other week too !
And do it ! your'e not his skivvy !

I stopped ironing as soon as my oldest became mobile. I said it wasn't safe. Hubby had to iron all his own shirts. Most stuff is fine as long as you hang it up as soon as its dry.

If you do all the night feeds then he needs to get up with the children at the weekends, so you can catch up on some of your sleep. Make a point of going to bed when the children do (let him sort out his own tea)to stop yourself from becoming too tired to cope.

Minimal housework is fine, you are a mother first. If hubby wants the house to be cleaner, give him the phone number of a local cleaner.

Def agree with Jemma about going out. Take the baby with you if you have to, but leave the other two with him and make sure you go out for the whole day, leaving a list of household chores for him, such as the food shopping for the week.

It will get easier as the children get older, especially the baby.