Daughter reluctant to join Jewish society or share her identity at uni.

[Boxingshibes]

Dd is off to uni in a few days. She wants to join clubs but is reluctant to join the Jewish society ( if there is one).
She has also said she doesn't know if she'll tell anyone that she is Jewish .
I know that it is her choice but part of me feels sad.
We're not a kosher keeping household or near a shul but do celebrate high holidays and shabbat( when we can).
She used to attend a Jewish primary school and had a Bat Mitzvah.
I dont know why I feel sad, but obviously the current political situation, its such a shame she is scared rather than proud of being Jewish.

I would feel sad too but please don't think this guaranteed to be permanent. I stepped away as a teenager / older teen after a life spent at synagogue and keeping kosher at home. Just needed some time where I wasn't defined by one part of my life. I have gotten involved in a Jewish community again as a parent. You gave her all the information and options to have a Jewish life when she wants to and now she can try out some different things.

It's a scary time for sure and it's really sad to see the toll this is taking on our kids. My son is frightened to go to high school in a couple years as my daughter had some horrific bullying in S1 and it worried him a lot. No chance of hiding anything though - we have lived in the same neighbourhood forever and my kids are the only Jewish children at both schools and have always been quite open about it. He might choose the same when he goes to Uni.

I would encourage her to go to JSOc as I feel it’s better to get support there than to be brainwashed by the Pro Pally majority (as what happened to my DD). I wasn’t interested in JSoc when I went to uni in the 90s. I purposely went to a uni that wasn’t a ‘Jewniversity’ to get away from my typical Jewish life, but I clicked w another Jewish student in the first week and we became best friends (although we did one jsoc event and that was it - just like being back at home so didn’t go back).

My DS just graduated and he lived w a Muslim guy for two years whose dad is an imam - obviously they knew each others’ religion and his friend has stayed here a couple of times with no issues. He didn’t get involved in politics or JSoc at all and he didn’t hide his religion.

My DD was nervous about telling anyone she was Jewish, but when it came around, honestly most people don't really care! Regarding JSoc, you can't force involvement, but I think it's worth joining because they can provide support in case there are times they are feeling separate in anyway. There is no requirement to attend anything just because they join, but it may give them somewhere they will feel like belong, if they feel like they're hiding their identity in other places.