I'm struggling a bit with managing expectations.
For 4 years I've had no hope whatsoever, was terrified to start IVF, literally put it off for a year because I wasn't in the right headspace. Then IVF started and it went SO WELL. No bad symptoms, handled the injections really well, felt absolutely great all throughout, had a tricky time with mild OHSS after collection but ended up with 10 embryos in the freezer, 6 of which are the highest grade.
Transfer is just around the corner and I feel like I'm getting hopeful and my brain is telling me "surely SOMETHING has to go wrong. No one can be that lucky" and I sort of don't know where to "put" that thought in my mind.
All of my test results have always been great, my tubes are completely fucked (hence the IVF) and I have a fairly large fibroid but everyone has been saying it won't be a problem because it's not inside the uterus. I had another scan today to track ovulation and the doctor was obviously in a bad mood when he arrived, said the fibroid was bothering him and he couldn't see the proper thickness of my lining, and made a throwaway comment along the lines of "if you have a bunch of cycles not work they'll probably look at removing that by the way". So whilst I started the day with my usual level of hope, I'm now feeling a bit disheartened because of his comment.
My previous scan 3 days ago (done by his colleague) went absolutely fine and he had no issue at all with the fibroid, could measure my lining immediately. It also wasn't a problem during the first part of IVF prior to the collection when they needed to measure the thickness of my lining every few days, and he confirmed the fibroid is the same size as before, so why the bother now? One part of me is thinking his trouble was down to himself because he was in a bad mood, but another part of me is thinking maybe he's right and I shouldn't really be hopeful that any of the transfers will work until they get rid of the fibroid?
Ugh, it's just all thrown me off a bit and I needed a vent!