We were “fortunate” enough to try just about every procedure and anything that might improve our chances. In the end, age seemed to be the hurdle we couldn’t overcome.
Too many failed fertilisations. Too many seven-week scans with no heartbeat. Too many miscarriages. And, through it all, friends who seemed to get pregnant just by sneezing on each other. We were happy for them, but it hurt.
We were at the end of our tether when we decided to use an egg donor. It felt less like choosing a path and more like accepting the only one we had left.
At the time, we tied ourselves in knots over genetics: what it would mean for our child, how we’d explain it, whether they’d resent us. Every imagined future question became another worry, until we’d practically convinced ourselves our child would hate us.
Fast forward, and it was the best decision we ever made—though getting there was incredibly hard. Our first donor-egg transfer worked, and our son is now six.
All those fears about genetics lost their grip the moment the little bugger arrived.
He was our son. We were his parents. And we loved him.
I wouldn’t pretend our outcome is a promise for anyone else. But if it’s the fear of using a donor that’s weighing on you, I can tell you this: we had those fears too, and our experience of being his parents has been so much more than we could have imagined.
My advice (which should always bet taken with a pinch of salt), do what you need to to have a baby. Everything else is secondary (including genetics).
xxx