Please be kind | Mumsnet

PepperPot88 · 2026-09-19T16:05:06+00:00

Some people may recognise my username. Been going through ivf for about 2 1/2 years now. Had a missed miscarriage back in April 2026. I’m 4 days post 5 day embryo transfer. I can see the second line but I am spiralling. I don’t even want to believe it or get happy. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. It feels cruel. Like mind games.

Rainbowwish26 · 19/09/2026 18:34

i can see it! for 4 days past that looks good!

i know it’s so hard but remember everything is out of your control.
Do you have any hobbies to try and distract?

Dumbledora8 · 19/09/2026 19:41

That's a positive line lovely, and it's a good line for 4dpt. It took me 5 cycles but I'm due any day now :) Sending you lots luck and love xx

Original poster

PepperPot88 · 19/09/2026 20:21

Rainbowwish26 · 19/09/2026 18:34

i can see it! for 4 days past that looks good!

i know it’s so hard but remember everything is out of your control.
Do you have any hobbies to try and distract?

Edited

I used to have habits until ttc took over my life! I hate what this journey has made of me. I did used to love dancing and reading.

OP posts:

Original poster

PepperPot88 · 19/09/2026 20:22

Dumbledora8 · 19/09/2026 19:41

That's a positive line lovely, and it's a good line for 4dpt. It took me 5 cycles but I'm due any day now :) Sending you lots luck and love xx

That’s reassuring! I hope all goes well for you. Wow! 5 cycles. I’m onto the 3rd and thought that was hard work! You must be an actual God!

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SlightlyTerrifiedButPolite · 19/09/2026 21:02

I can see it too 🤞 and looking good for day 4

This is the worse time in the whole process and especially hard after loss. Scared to be hopeful in case it doesn’t work out with this pregnancy, but also scared in case it’s more heartbreak and disappointment if the transfer doesn’t work

There’s no winning but I promise it does get easier to let go of the fear as the pregnancy progresses. I’m 18+2 now post transfer after a loss in Feb/March this year

Original poster

PepperPot88 · 19/09/2026 21:23

SlightlyTerrifiedButPolite · 19/09/2026 21:02

I can see it too 🤞 and looking good for day 4

This is the worse time in the whole process and especially hard after loss. Scared to be hopeful in case it doesn’t work out with this pregnancy, but also scared in case it’s more heartbreak and disappointment if the transfer doesn’t work

There’s no winning but I promise it does get easier to let go of the fear as the pregnancy progresses. I’m 18+2 now post transfer after a loss in Feb/March this year

Good luck and thanks for the reassurance. I suppose there’s no control over it so you have to ride it out. I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well.

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LongerthanMrTicklesarms · 19/09/2026 21:29

I had many IVF cycles and eventually had success, can remember very well the feelings throughout the process and during the wait to test.

Did you have a hCG trigger shot? Have you been testing it out? I never did, always waited until official test day to test but have seen people on here test out the trigger shot and then start to see positive lines getting darker.

Do you have a blood test booked? My clinic did day 9 blood tests or day 11 urine tests, although obviously people get positive tests much sooner.

Hoping this is it for you after such a journey.
Are you with a partner or doing this solo? I mean have you got someone to share with.

I don't have good advice because I remember I couldn't think of anything else. I did manage bits of work but it was insanely difficult to distract myself. So, keep posting if it helps but if you prefer to hide Mumsnet for a few days hope you have good news.

Original poster

PepperPot88 · 19/09/2026 21:35

LongerthanMrTicklesarms · 19/09/2026 21:29

I had many IVF cycles and eventually had success, can remember very well the feelings throughout the process and during the wait to test.

Did you have a hCG trigger shot? Have you been testing it out? I never did, always waited until official test day to test but have seen people on here test out the trigger shot and then start to see positive lines getting darker.

Do you have a blood test booked? My clinic did day 9 blood tests or day 11 urine tests, although obviously people get positive tests much sooner.

Hoping this is it for you after such a journey.
Are you with a partner or doing this solo? I mean have you got someone to share with.

I don't have good advice because I remember I couldn't think of anything else. I did manage bits of work but it was insanely difficult to distract myself. So, keep posting if it helps but if you prefer to hide Mumsnet for a few days hope you have good news.

Thank you. The trigger was out quite quickly. My body seems to be good at getting rid of things-including embryos unfortunately. I’m going to protect my heart as I have also had chemicals in the past.

I came off social media back in April because it was too much. That has took some of the upset/anxiety away. No I don’t have a blood test booked. I think that I’m trying to find a happy balance of trying not to obsess and still trying to remain calm. Doesn’t make it any better.

OP posts:

Original poster

PepperPot88 · 19/09/2026 21:37

LongerthanMrTicklesarms · 19/09/2026 21:29

I had many IVF cycles and eventually had success, can remember very well the feelings throughout the process and during the wait to test.

Did you have a hCG trigger shot? Have you been testing it out? I never did, always waited until official test day to test but have seen people on here test out the trigger shot and then start to see positive lines getting darker.

Do you have a blood test booked? My clinic did day 9 blood tests or day 11 urine tests, although obviously people get positive tests much sooner.

Hoping this is it for you after such a journey.
Are you with a partner or doing this solo? I mean have you got someone to share with.

I don't have good advice because I remember I couldn't think of anything else. I did manage bits of work but it was insanely difficult to distract myself. So, keep posting if it helps but if you prefer to hide Mumsnet for a few days hope you have good news.

Oh and sorry yes I have a husband but haven’t told him yet. One of us needs to remain level headed and none obsessed I feel.

OP posts:

LongerthanMrTicklesarms · 19/09/2026 23:51

PepperPot88 · 19/09/2026 21:35

Thank you. The trigger was out quite quickly. My body seems to be good at getting rid of things-including embryos unfortunately. I’m going to protect my heart as I have also had chemicals in the past.

I came off social media back in April because it was too much. That has took some of the upset/anxiety away. No I don’t have a blood test booked. I think that I’m trying to find a happy balance of trying not to obsess and still trying to remain calm. Doesn’t make it any better.

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Good luck with the balance, it's dreadfully difficult. Hoping very much that your body holds onto this embryo and beyond. 🌺