Husband uncomfortable providing sperm sample at clinic, any practical suggestions?

[HappyMamma2023]

My husband is very embarrassed about doing the sperm sample at the clinic. He says it doesn't feel private enough. Has anyone else experienced this and how did you solve the problem?

He needs to get a grip. How does he think you feel for all the procedures you have to go through? There is a lock in the room he does his collection. Nobody is going to be looking in at him.

How close to the clinic do you live? I think you can do it at home if you can get it to the lab quickly enough.

My partner also made a fuss about how awful the sample was - never mind me about to be sedated in the other room for retrieval 💀 men could never hack it from our side of things!!

some clinics can give you the cup for at-home collection provided that it reaches the clinic within a certain amount of time from production (eg one hour) - worth checking whether this is an option for you!

We had to drop off sperm for analysis before and the lab had no facilities so it had to be done at home then transported - they suggested to keep the vial in my bra or in chest pocket of DH's shirt.

For actual fertilisation of embryos I would not want there to be any doubt as to the condition of the sperm. There are a few options, one being to leave a sample there prior to egg collection as a back up. My clinic suggested this in general and then they also got a sample on the day and went with the best one.

I think I read on here about a very upset poster whose DH couldn't 'perform' on the day and the eggs had to be frozen, can only imagine the frustration if due to have a fresh transfer, plus actually the general agony of prolonging the finding out about how many embryos were created etc so I'd (get him to) do all possible to ensure it goes smoothly.

@DontBuyAnotherBook I agree with your sentiment and admire the pun, whether intended or not.

I agree on the grand scheme of things it is simple, but it seems to be a big deal to my husband and trying to support him and make it easy. I will ask about doing it at home. Thank you

13yrs ago when we started our first ivf cycle we use to live closer to the clinic and my husband was a little more shy about things back then so the clinic allowed us to collect at home, and without sounding tmi he even had me work up to the collection for him if you grasp what im saying. Now we are old pros at this ivf thing and he now even has a joke around with the ladies at the clinic. We live way to far away now to collect at home. It will get easier for him i promise. I understand we as woman have the worst of the procedures and we are very u comfortable and have to do things we dont want to do and it hurts but woman and partners forget that collect a sample is very private, every single person in that waiting room knows exactly what he is doing behind the doors and then he has to walk out and face everyone who is absolutely going to look at him when he hands over his sample. Im glad you want to show compassion and support and unfortunately a lot of woman forget their partners are human and have emotions and feelings also and thats where tension comes from during the ivf process and also just the ttc journey in general. Being supportive of each other and understanding is the goal during the journey.