Struggling after ectopic

[EmBear91]

Sadly our most recent embryo transfer resulted in an ectopic pregnancy and I had surgery 2 days ago for removal of the pregnancy and my right fallopian tube. It was scary and stressful and I was in a lot of pain after the surgery. Home now and have a fit note for 2 weeks off work. I guess I just would love to hear others experiences - I feel really weird and disassociated since being discharged from hospital. My mum and partner are doing the bulk of childcare for our toddler which I feel guilty about and generally I just feel sad and not myself and like a rubbish mum/bit of a failure. I also feel pressure to return to work and worry about money etc. When did you feel fully recovered and normal again?

So sorry about your ectopic.

I had the MTX injection so recovery is probably different, but I felt back to normal after 2 weeks. Emotionally it took probably a month. I struggled after my ectopic way more than my miscarriage and also felt quite disassociated. It was a year ago now but I still vividly remember how difficult that month was.

As soon as I felt better physically, we went on holiday and started making plans for conceiving again. That really helped me.

I’m so sorry for your loss and what you’ve been through. I haven’t had an ectopic but didn’t want to not reply.

You had a traumatic surgery two days ago and you will also be suffering from the hormone crash from the pregnancy loss. I had a miscarriage in the middle of the IVF - without the surgery - and it took me a good 3 weeks to feel close to normal again and still had major wobbles for another 3 weeks or so after that. I feel like I had depression for the first three weeks. Your mum and your partner are there to support you, these are the times people who love you want to be there for you. You aren’t a rubbish mum, you are trying to give your toddler a sibling.

The doctor has given you a sick note for two weeks for a reason. It takes a good 5 days or so to get over a GA, there is a reason you can’t drive for a week after one. I had endometriosis surgery in October and was upside down two days out of it. The sick note is just dealing with recovery from the physical side of things too, you’ve been through a lot.

I wish you all the best with your recovery and on your baby journey 💕🤗