When to ask to go on IVF waiting list?

[sadsister23]

I am 33, will be 34 in June. I have amenhorrea but doctors can't agree on the cause - some say it is hypothalamic amenhorrea (HA), others say it is PCOS.

I had thought it was HA but I have stopped all exercise other than walking and am eating 2500 calories every day but have still not had a period.

I know that clomid can be used to induce ovulation in PCOS and that it can also induce ovulation in less severe cases of HA.

I am not in a position to TTC at the moment as I am doing a qualification that lasts until next Feb. However, I am aware of my age. I am wondering whether to ask for a trial of clomid - if I ovulate I will know I can use this when TTC but if I don't I am thinking of asking to be put on the waiting list for IVF. The waiting list where I am is 2+ years so I would be done with my qualification by then.

Does this sound reasonable?

sorry about your condition on fertility 🙏but I think doctors won’t do anything until you have tried to conceive at least one year naturally ? That’s what happened to me when I wanted help from fertility clinic / GP. But you can try ! X

@Ilovebees given that I have no periods and am not ovulating I'm not sure what the point of TTC naturally would be? It's so hard when doctors won't even agree on the cause...

@sadsister23 I think then maybe go to your GP and try and sort out the period problem first , tell them you would like to ttc very soon ( you can lie ) and say that you need something to get your periods back ! At least then they will take you more seriously if they know you want to try for a child ( even if you don’t want to atm ) at least you’ll get your cycles regulated for when you are ready !

@sadsister23 And I am really really unsure if they would put you on ivf waiting list before you actually decide that any time is good time to go for it from right now if it happens that the waiting time is a lot less than 2 years , they say 2 years but what if you get a letter after 5 months and it’s all ready to start ? My ivf clinic said 1 year plus waiting time but when I applied for NHS , it happened soo fast , once I filled in all the documents and got the paperwork ready , took about 3 months to do all that and the waiting decisions , I started ivf the month after . There was no waiting time once I had done all the nhs paperwork .

@Ilovebees thank you, I'm glad to hear your IVF experience was so quick! Whereabouts in the country are you? I have asked for support to get my periods back but have just been told to go on the pill which obvs isn't helpful. I'm scared that if I wait until my course is over to get the referral it will be another year gone, and with a possible 2 year waiting list I could be 37 before I even get my initial appt let alone start treatment.

@Ilovebees thank you !! And I can’t belive they told you to go on the pill ! 😡 how is that going to help you get your periods back ! So sorry they won’t investigate the reason why you don’t ovulate propley ! And yes that’s the risk ! You could apply for ivf now on nhs and hope that it takes 1+ year , I don’t see any other way ! Only way is to pay private but who has got that much money nowadays ! Not me . Specially if nhs is offering you free round of ivf .

@@sadsister23 oh I’m in Leeds , UK . 😀

@sadsister23 Also I would strongly suggest you still go to your GP and ask for chlomid like you said ! Just to see if it works so you know .

@Ilovebees I know, the pill is such a ridiculous suggestion! Thank you so much for replying to me - it has been a really lonely journey, especially when doctors don't listen. You're probably right that I should try clomid first before worrying about referrals for IVF.

@sadsister23 you know what the other option is - can you afford private consultation appointment in private hospital like spire healthcare ? They seem to want to help you a lot more than normal GP’s . They could write out the prescriptions for you whatever that might be ,chlomid ect - and you take it to your GP and then they have to give it to you if your private consultant agrees that it’s a good idea ! Or even any blood tests the consultant orders for you to take to your GP to have done . Now I really thought about this and that’s 100% what I would do if your normal GP refuses . But yeah go to your normal GP first as you don’t have to pay and go from there , you have nothing to lose but to gain xx at least you’ll know where you stand with them , and least if you try and see what they say to your suggestion , you wont be left regretting that you didn’t even try to sort it out earlier when the times comes when you are ready to have a child x hugs x I know it’s so hard ! I truly do !

@Ilovebees I paid £400 for a mini fertility privately which is when I was diagnosed with PCOS even though my bloods don't align. I had questions to ask the doctor afterwards ie why I have been diagnosed with PCOS when my bloods don't indicate it but the doctor said I'd need to book another appt and spend more £££ for him to answer my questions so I take a dim view of private practitioners tbh - they seem so money grabbing. I guess I might not have an option if my GP doesn't prescribe it though. It's so hard and this is consuming all my thoughts. Thank you for your empathy and for helping me to feel less alone

@sadsister23 aww so sorry you’ve had a experience like this at private clinic and they couldn’t tell you more for that £400 . But I was just thinking, can you lie to your GP and say you are trying to conceive now or want to ttc from now and for them to prescribe the chlomid for you , and if they do , you don’t actually have to try in real life 😁 at least you’ll see if you ovulate and see if your cycles go back to normal . So many people take chlomid but still don’t get pregnant straight away so the doctors would never know if you did or didn’t actually even try on these months .! And let’s say they agree and give you 4 months worth of chlomid , you can take it for 2 months or what feels right to you so you’ll have an idea of it works by checking for ovulation and seeing if you period comes back on time . And if they ask you to report back if it works or not you can say , yes it works but I didn’t get pregnant in this 4 months ( even though you know you wasn’t even trying ,just lie) or if it doesn’t work then they will find you something that does work . And then at least you’ll know what works what doesn’t . And if chlomid does work and after 3 Months worth of chlomid they ask you to report back and see if you want more chlomid , you can always say , I decided I don’t want to ttc right now any longer for personal reasons .!sometimes you have to lie in life in order to get what you need , because I doubt they will give it to you if they know you’re not even planning to try for a child. If you say it’s for periods they will just say take a pill ! Xxx

@Ilovebees thank you so much, I didn't really want to lie but I think you are right - I might need to do so in order to get what i want. I have an appt with my GP next Weds and I think I will take your advice - thank you!

@sadsister23 don’t be scared to lie , if you need to , they won’t know . Let me know how you get on and if you got the medicine you need 😘take care lovely xx keep positive and your head held high !

@Ilovebees I am so grateful to you for keeping me company here, I will be sure to let you know how I get on