Ivf excuses

[FETmum]

Evening all,

We are on our second round of ivf currently on day 9 of Gonal F and the retrieval will be any day now (another scan tomorrow).

What has your excuses been for getting the time off work for your appointments?

I will definitely call in sick for the retrieval but also feel guilty, definitely not telling my employers.

I work in an admin role and while I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how I was going to get the time off without telling anyone what for, I ultimately did end up going to management to explain and they have been nothing but supportive. All my time off needs are covered by special leave so I don't need to use holiday, and one manager went through IVF herself a few years ago so is completely on board with helping me. It might seem very daunting and I don't know anything about your workplace, but "coming clean" about what I needed has taken away that side of the stress for me. Ps I haven't told anyone else in my life about it, it remains between me, management and my husband.

It's so interesting to hear what other parents have told their employment. My manager is a woman but still I don't think I'd tell her, she's not very flexible.

We have our retrieval booked for Wednesday so shall pull a sickie.

Baby dust to you! *

Currently in my 2ww with a frosty. Haven't told anyone at work at all! I figured that until I have something to definitely tell, I won't say a word. Unfortunately they don't have a good track record with how they treat pregnant women. If all goes well, I'll still tell them as late as I can.

There are two ladies in their third trimester and one nearing the second, and hopefully they take all the limelight and nobody notices with me.

As for my appointments so far I've just told them I'm having a rather uncomfortable procedure done on my ladyparts, which is very successful in making men squirm and not ask any more questions apart from politely enquiring whether everything went ok 😆

I didn't tell work anything about IVF, despite there being special IVF leave available. For me my privacy was more valuable than a few extra days off. I'm glad I took that approach as it took lots of treatment to actually get pregnant. I said I was having treatment for a gynae issue, and mostly made up the time for appointments or used annual leave. I took a sick day for one egg collection and transfer and just worked flexibly for most other appointments.
I haven't told many people at work about my pregnancy.

@FETmum don't feel too guilty, people who get pregnant without fertility treatment (and eevbe others who have had IVF) are not always helpful in their comments or perceptions and didn't have to tell their employer they were TTC.

This is exactly my feeling. I might lose a couple of paid days here and there for antenatal visits but I'd rather lose the pay and decide myself when and how I tell them about my private medical business.

I took holiday and general sick leave

I think I said minor gynecological operation at some point without specifics

Thanks everyone, had the egg collection yesterday and told my boss I had a chest infection as I was coughing last week. Goodness know what my next excuse is for the transfer date. I've already used going for a blood test excuse.

Anyway fingers crossed for us all, I'm expecting a call today to tell me the results.

Hope you had a good update @FETmum

Keeping fingers crossed for your OTD@Greenlee and the others when the time comes.

How's it all going anyone?

Just had a fresh transfer today, it had better bloody work 🤣🤣

I don't have much to suggest, but I'm just sorry to read that your manager is inflexible and that you can't tell her.

I told my manager and it was no problem whatsoever, I just take the time I need. I do have a slight cringe at her knowing, but she's bound by confidentiality and has ended up being incredibly supportive anyway. Are you sure your boss would be as bad as you think? There are usually policies around special leave for fertility treatment.

Anyway it's your choice but it does take a lot of the stress out of it - for me this has now been going on for well over 3 years, so if I hadn't sad anything I would definitely be getting pulled up on the amount of sick leave I'm using!

I can't imagine having to think up excuses on top of all the stress of IVF. So just sending solidarity and thoughts your way really, whatever you decide!

Hope it's going OK after the transfer and best of luck for the TWW! Fingers crossed for you.

I just told them that I have a doctor's appointment. In my case I don't feel comfortable telling anybody at work that I am doing IVF.

Well well well...shock horror the fresh 'very early blastocyst' that was transferred 6 days ago hasn't stuck. All negative pregnancy tests! Previously FET pregnancy was positive 3 days post transfer (ended in MMC).

Hoping everyone else's TTW is better than mine. Happy Sunday.