Trying to advise my friend

[RedDiamond]

My friend is 47. She is 5ft 5" tall. She weighs 15 stone. She tells me her BMI is 35. She has tried IVF privately twice at 40k a go and unfortunately they both have resulted in miscarriages after 6 weeks.

I am so upset for her as she is so upset. What can I do to help or recommend to her?

I may well be speaking out of turn but I somehow feel her age and weight is going to go against her. If this is so, how on earth do I encourage her to lose weight?

Gosh, that's a hard one.

Surely her doctors must have told her how unlikely it is that she'll carry a pregnancy to term, under these circumstances.

I guess you just need to be there for her.

At 47 I'd be honest with her and tell her the ship has likely sailed. Whilst her weight is a barrier certainly her age is the biggest issue and there is nothing she can do about that. Losing weight at her age really isn't going to make much if any difference and would just give her false hope. She could try donor eggs of course but I don't morally or ethically agree with the use of donors so not something I would counsel a friend in personally.

I know the above is harsh but honestly sometimes you need to be honest to be the best friend you can rather than feeding her unrealistic hopes and dreams

Bless her, it's a hard one. I think it's going to have to be one of those decisions that she has to make peace with herself, no matter what you say she's only going to do her own thing. The only thing you can really do is be there for her and maybe try hint that adoption might be a really good option

Thank you all so much. I believe I will just have to be straight with her now. I can feel her pain but I think if she keeps trying, it is only going to break her heart more. I like the idea of adoption, I will try and have a conversation with her about that and see if she is open to that possibility.

Oh I am so sorry x

Has she considered changing clinics?