So tired of waiting

[thislittlebird]

That’s all really. I found out my nhs round of ivf will likely be in 2022 now and I’m devastated because they told me it would be 2-3 months from late august. I now realise it won’t be because I’ll hit Christmas and my cycles are timed badly. I feel broken and I feel so old. Every month passes I’m nearer to my next birthday (39) and I want to scream. Part of me wants to do a private cycle (which we are allowed to do in my CCG) but I know the first round is a bit of trial and error so I always wanted my nhs round to go first.

I don’t know why I’m posting really. I’m very tired, and I’m sure lots of you feel the same. I just want our chance to try and it never seems to come round.

I’m having PGD with IVF which is why my parents are involved as were trying to avoid passing a gene down. As long as everything is ready by January I can start April, however I was due to start my period tomorrow but there are no signs of it 😢 so I am going to have to push my fertility tests and results appointment back

@thislittlebird^^

Sorry @Bellwells, I missed this. I didn’t realise the process of PGD. Did the period arrive????

@thislittlebird my period arrived the same evening I wrote the message so a day early whoo whoop. Mine and DH tests are booked for next Wednesday and our results and fertility consultation to discuss the medication is on the 30/11.

@Bellwells let me know how the appointment goes tomorrow!

@thislittlebird so my follicle count is 5 and 3 which is a bit low for my age but my AMH is good which they are happy about. They have asked me to repeat my follicle count just to be sure of the medication I will be on (a slightly stronger dose for my age).
I forgot to ask what medication I could expect to be on (shakes head).
I feel a bit deflated I’m tempted to tell DH lets just try naturally but its a 50/50 of passing the gene down.

@Bellwells can I ask your age? 8 isn’t too bad though, if they could get those and they were decent that’s a fair few to work with.

Obviously it’s complicated with the gene situation, otherwise trying naturally would make some sense.

@thislittlebird I’m 26 - I think for the sake of not passing the gene on I just have to see this through.
It’s just so annoying because I was told I could go back on contraception after my appointment on the 17th until 3months prior to starting treatment and now I need to come off again and wait until I have a couple bleeds before I can be re-tested.

@Bellwells very annoying but it’s probably the right choice. You’re young, so that bodes well for the quality of your eggs even if there’s a few fewer than you expected. And more might be there another month, one month I had 15 more follicles on a scan than a few months prior.

I heard from Guys btw, not sure if I reported back on this. They asked me to start Jan/Feb which is about right, my January cycle is late Jan.

@thislittlebird oh how exciting how do you feel?

@Bellwells Mixed tbh. When they got in touch initially I just had a bit of a panic, because it suddenly felt real. Now that was a few weeks ago and I've not heard anything since (I had to send answers to their questions back) so I'm started to get worried it won't go ahead in January. I'll have to chase them again.

The whole thing makes me sad because we haven't managed to conceive naturally, but my age means I need to get on with it all really. I'm 38 and I know doing the IVF might speed things along, but there's the fear it won't work.

Hey @thislittlebird did you end up starting in January? How’s it all going?

@Bellwells hey! I did yeah, NHS funded cycle is done (collection was early Feb), we have 4 embryos in the freezer which is great but I’m still waiting and still tired lol. We did a freeze all because I wasn’t feeling great on the day of transfer so now I count down the time until transfer attempt number one. How are you getting on, what’s the latest?

@thislittlebird oh amazing, have you got a new FET date?

My parents had their genetic blood test done today it will take approx. 8 weeks for the results to come back then it is 4 weeks for the genetic work up to be done. So my anticipated start date will be July but they are happy to bring it forward of everything is done earlier.

@Bellwells not yet, I have to call when I get my next period in a couple of weeks and schedule it in. I’ve found the waiting really hard to be honest, it’s hard to see people having babies who started the same time as you in this process and, as I’m sure you know, it feels like you can’t pass Go.

That’s great news, July sounds a way away but it might be earlier and it’s only three months really.

@thislittlebird heyy just thought to check in and see how your getting on.

July is basically here, I've got my nurses appointment booked for next week so hopefully AF will make an early/on time appearance next month so that I can have my scans and dummy transfer, before starting NET on day 14 of my cycle

Hey @Bellwells

So a mid July transfer roughly? Is next week just checking all ok?

I’m ok, having a hard time waiting for the next FET. The first failed, which wasn’t much fun. Hopefully the next one will mid Julyish, not sure exactly, doing natural modified FET cycles and it depends if AF plays ball.

@thislittlebird oh no, I am so sorry to hear that! I have my fingers and toes crossed for you that your July FET will stick!! X

The nurses app. next week will “set me up” for treatment; I’ll find out the drug regime, how to inject and my rough timeline etc.

@Bellwells yeah it sucks. Obviously they’re untested embryos but I’m hoping one of the three remaining will work out.

oh that’s good, it’ll feel like progress when you go in and get that done. Let me know how it all goes.