Ivf baby...what did you tell your younger kids

[fool11]

Hi, I had ivf in Oct and very lucky to be now 15w pregnant. I have 5y old DD and want to tell her that she will have a baby brother. She is already very interested to know how did she get out of belly when she was born, gave her satisfying answer for now she is happy with but I can see the next question coming when I tell her , how did the baby get in the belly...what did you tell them, your younger kids?

There is no difference between a ivf conceived baby and a non ivf conceived baby. If you want to explain in an age appropriate way about the birds and the bees then fair enough but I don’t understand if you’re expecting to say for you mummy and daddy loved each other and made a baby for your sibling mammy and daddy still loved each other but had to get their sperm and egg out together by a doctor take lots of injections have a procedure and then that made the baby why do you feel you need to explain about ivf to a 5 year old?

Yeah I also don't see the need to explain to a 5 year old about IVF conception - unless you've used donor eggs/sperm

I was conceived by IVF and wasn't told until I was 15, my mum said she didn't leave it until that age for any particular reason other than she just kind of forgot I didn't know! When I was younger I was just told the same as everyone else.

Hi. yes, you are absolutely right , sorry, it came out wrong way, although somebody did ask me that question and I was thinking about it..it doesn’t matter which way conceived, the question should be just how did you explain appropriate way to a young child that you are expecting a baby..that mummy and daddy love each other etc won’t do..her little brain will be in overdrive wanting to know but how it got in..

Just explain the usual way. That when a mummy and daddy love each other they have a special cuddle - or daddy’s penis goes into mummy’s vagina - daddy’s sperm enters a special egg of Mummy’s

and they make a baby

No need to mention ivf yet

When having a "facts of life" chat about 5yo DD we did the usual bit and then added that sometimes people need some extra help to have a baby and that there are some doctors that can help. We left it at that. DD is now 16 and DS is 11, they now know a bit more and I'm happy to answer questions but TBH they aren't very interested.

Yeah since finding out I was IVF I don't think we've ever spoke about it again, it obviously has no bearing on anything so it's just eject come up again, maybe in the future if I struggle to conceive I'll talk to my mum about it more but for now I never bring it up as I imagine it's not something she would really like to talk about.

I don’t know @Freeshavocado. I think if your mum is anything like me she will be happy to talk

I’m so grated that ivf finally worked after 5 attempts and we have our dd

She’s nearly 3. I will tell her as and when that we needed help to have her when we talk about sex Ed

I have not had IVF but we explained how the baby got in my tummy to our eldest via a book with chapter on fertilisation and illustration of the sperm and egg to blasto to embryo to baby etc. He understood that daddy gave mummy one of his wiggly cells and it mixed with one of mine and then it grew and grew into a baby in my tummy. No additional questions after that!

No need to mention IVF, honestly its so common and doesn't mean anything different to a young child. I think just explain it the same way as natural conception. Good luck!