How did you decide to go ahead with IVF?

[FlapJackered]

Dh and I have been trying for 2 years with 1 miscarriage 9 months ago.
All tests have come back fine for me, DH has 2% morphology and 53% antisperm antibodies - so although DH's results are not great, because I got pregnant we are not being taken seriously by the fertility clinic.
I know compared to a lot of people this isn't a long time, and I know it is a good sign I got pregnant at all, but it is having a really bad effect on my mental health and I just have this feeling it isn't going to happen unless we do IVF. I am thinking of setting a deadline of early next year for going privately for IVF if it hasn't happened.
Those of you who have unexplained infertility how did you decide to stop trying naturally and go the IVF route?

For us it was after 18 months after 4 mc and a ruptured ectopic meant I was down to one tube

DH morphology was also 2%

We said 2019 would be our final year of letting ttc take over our lives so re mortgaged the house and jumped into ivf unfortunately 1st transfer failed then I had another mc and my second transfer ended in another ruptured ectopic so no tubes left now

We really just waiting on PGS results from our second cycle and have said 1 more cycle after Xmas and that will be it. It's taken over our lives for too long now x

We decided after three failed IUIs that IVF would be the most cost effective in one way, and also the success rates were higher than IUI. It just made sense and it was what our doctor advised. He also told us that we have a great life and not to try more than 2 rounds of IVF, which I appreciated because sometimes it seems like the clinics were set up to make money!

@itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted I didn't realise you had gone through so much financially (I remember you from another thread). You're wonder woman. xx

We have unexplained infertility and it took a while to get my head around needing IVF.
We had one funded NHS round of ICSI and we were very lucky to have dd 3.5 years after we started trying.

@Maggie272
Thank you!

I think sometimes I feel more robotic than Wonder Woman 🤣. Perhaps when this is all over I'll have a breakdown but I'm surviving on hope at the moment!

The financial side doesn't really bother me too much as I know it will be paid off eventually and the rewards at the end if it works are worth more than cost of getting there.

I think what I will grieve over is the change in relationships with those around me - my friends and family have become divided into the non fertile for which no explanations are necessary and the fertile to whom no explanation can possibly be enough for them to understand. I don't think I'll ever have the same relationships with some people that I had before and that is another loss to add to all the baby ones x

Thanks for your replies @itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted I am so sorry, it's sounds like you have had a really tough time with it.
I am with you on the change in relationships, I already feel that with those that have families now, it is a lonely place.

I think we will just set a date and if we are not pregnant by then just go for it with ivf. I am thinking of going abroad to Reprofit to try and keep costs down. I just can't believe we are at this decision. It's not one I ever thought I would have to make.

We set ourself a limit of 12 months after the first ectopic- the doctors say it doesn't affect fertility only having one tube but it really does

Bang on 12 months we started IVF - in fact I had my first egg collection a year to the day of the ectopic surgery

I wouldn't wait too long - age does play a major part in infertility and there is a lot of waiting with IVF - to start then for transfers then in between cycles.

Seriously consider options in UK though as it's been invaluable for us only being 10 mins from our clinic - ABC is cheaper than going abroad If you meet the criteria x

@itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted thanks so much for your advice. I think you're right about not waiting too long. I have been looking into ABC and it looks great but do you know anything about the method they use? They call it shoebox ivf but not sure if there are downsides to using that approach?

I had reduced ovarian reserve and husband had poor sperm motility (though by second cycle we found out dna fragmentation an issue too). The consultant told us to get on with it even though I was only 31 and only just trying a year! Said it wasn’t impossible o conceive naturally but time wasn’t on our side.

High dna fragmentation can Be a cause of miscarriage - have they spoken to you about surgical sperm retrieval to reduce fragmentation?