How to support a friend

[anonmum22]

Friend has just miscarried after 2nd attempt at IVF and is awaiting D&C. My heart breaks for her and she has messaged to say she is in a bad place and will not be contacting anyone for a while. I have never been through this myself hence posting on here to see what, if anything, I could do to support her or help her in any way? I want to respect her wishes that she doesn't want any contact but I also don't want her to feel alone when she is clearly (and understandably) in a really bad way.

I’m sorry to hear about your friends news. She also is very lucky to have such a good and concerned friend, therefore her life isn’t as dark and grim as she now feels.

That’s it, you have to help her I’m seeing she is loved and cared for. At this moment she may feel like she isn’t good enough or embarrassed and ashamed about being “the Barron” one in the group.

Maybe you could write her a letter to let her know how much you care for her. Also post her some leaflets regarding groups where she can meet women such as herself. That way she will not feel alone and she can have someone who truly understands.

Not sure if that was even helpful.

Your poor friend! That must be heartbreaking for her. I think all you can really do is let her know you're there for her but give her space

I was your friend a few months ago.

Please send her a card with some kind words in it. That will be enough to let her know you are thinking of her and give her the space she needs until she's ready.

I had one friend who sent me a card. Not a condolences or sympathy card thankfully, but just to let me know how much they were thinking of me and that they cared for me.

To me, it meant the world. It was an acknowledgement that my baby existed, that he/she was indeed worthy of someone's attention even though they were only here for 11 was, and that my grief was important to someone. I have kept that card along with my scan photos and just knowing it is there gives me some comfort.

You sound like a lovely friend.

Thank you Botanica and I'm sorry for your loss too. I will do.