Desperate for a baby 41yrs Mc 1 year ago

[bec8377]

Hi

I finally found the man of my dreams and all set to marry in May !

We both want children we had a miscarriage a year ago now and nothing is happening ... we both have had fertility test and everything has come back in and no reason as to why we can't fall pregnant

I am just about to turn 41 and it's really hitting me that this may not happen ....

Please can anyone offer advice help .. clutching at straws ...

Hi Bec dorry you have found yourself in the unexplained category, have they offered follow ups? Or are you out of the NHSfunding criteria?
I have read some good reviews about the Stork Fertlity device- for those with unexplained.

It sounds obvious but are you having enough sex, timing things right- I found it really helpful to use BBT temping. Are you both in good health? You could read it starts with the egg and baby making bible. You may want to check cut off for IVF funding in your area, you’ve been trying long enough to get referred I’d you do.

We do and I follow the clear blue fertility monitor to make sure ovulating ... I had a stressful couple of months and I think I have to stop obsessing .... I find it all heartbreaking but I will see look at the book

I am to old for ivf funding , we fell 4 months of coming off the pill we both in good health but with stresses I did start smoking again which I have now stopped again and my results are good for my age ! Everyone around me has got children and had no troubles or mmc so I think I'm now looking for support from everyone in these types of websites

Thanks guys

It'll happen don't worry. Try agnus castus or high concentrations of evening primrose oil - read up and see what you think - good luck

Ivf is not an option at all? Just at your age, the brutal truth is that I would chuck everything at it.

I'm going to try all of those this month .... going to look at ivf or iui after wedding but cost wise it's so expensive

Look, I know it's hard advice, but friends of mine told me after my mc that they really regretted not staying Ivf years before. Don't regret anything. And don't bother with iui. Statistically it doesn't stack up.

Did you have ivf ? I worry about the failure side and how I will cope as I found the mc so hard x x I totally understand what your saying . We simply can't afford it at moment

No, if you can't afford it, that's a different kettle of fish. I would push hard for investigations though, and see if you could test for some of the things that cause recurrent mc, like thyroid function and sticky blood (lupus anticoagulant etc) so you don't waste any time at all.

Yes, as did my friends eventually. We did have babies, but they only had one when they would have liked more.

Have fantastic luck and make beautiful babies!

A fertility specialist told me to take coq10 for egg quality (had baby at 44) double the dose on the box.

Bec8377 try Ubiquinol and DHEA, both known to improve egg quality

I've ordered some evening oil of primrose and some coq 10 and going to try and relax and let nature take it cause

Thank you for all your advice

Wishing you much luck!

Good luck Bec, when u need to re-stock the coq10, go for Ubiquinol as its the absorbable version of coq10

Is that better then ?

Hi @bec8377 realistically at 41 I would start investigating ivf ASAP. Lots of clinics do funding issues.

I got my bfp after 2nd cycle ICSI - it's a super hard and heartbreaking process to go though a failed cycle but for me the most important thing was having no regrets.

Good luck

Hi ladies. From my own experince of EPO id be careful. It can have the opposite effecfs depending on your natural hormone levels. I tried it and it acrually deregulated me. Also they advise not to take it after ovulation. On another note, we have paid privately for a cycle of follicle monitoring which actually found to my suprise that I dont ovulate...or likely havent since my last miscarriage. It cost £550 but well worth it for the information they managed to gleam from it. I was very suprised as have regular menses and peaks on ovulation tests. Might be worth looking into. My consultant has actually put me back on the contraceptive pill for a month to try and kickstart my hormones again as I didnt even respond to a trigger last cycle. From there he's going to do a baseline scan (another £250ish) then look at medication options as my problem seems to be the result of high oestrogen x

Hi Bec this happened to me although I was a couple of years younger. After an early miscarriage we then started trying again and weren't getting anywhere. I too was doing temps etc and whilst this was really helpful in a way in terms of understanding my cycle, eventually it became too stressful and so we just followed the NICE guidance which says have sex every couple of days. There is also, by the way, some research which suggests that having frequent sex does increase your fertility so that's another reason why that guidance may be ultimately better than trying to time everything too much. The miscarriage was in early Feb and by the November of that year I was feeling pretty desperate. I went for some acupuncture from someone who specialises in gynae stuff and after two sessions of that, in early December, I was pregnant and my daughter was born the following September. I don't know obviously what if anything in particular helped but anecdotally I have heard that acupuncture from someone good, can help. I'd also suggest trying to unwind and enjoy sex rather than manically trying to coordinate it with the various self-monitoring you are probably doing although obvs. that is far easier said than done. Good luck!

forgot to add that because of the previous miscarriage I also had acupuncture through until the second trimester. Again I can't say for sure what if anything it did but it helped me feel more confident.

Hi Bec

Yes CoQ10 needs to be converted to Ubiquinol before it is asborbed so you will need a higher dose. Ubiquinol is obviously therefore more easily absorbed as its already broken down

Hi I've been to see the ivf clinic with all my blood test results and she said I haven't been trying long enough and my results show I ovulate and have a good egg reserve for my age so to keep trying and 2 year is no success to then go and see them this was also confirmed by a fertility specialist ... I also since the miscarriage suffer from vaginal dryness which I have never suffered so using pre seed or conceive plus .... I have been under lots of stress which is disappearing ... ivf is something at the moment that we simply can't afford at this moment in time and there no funding in the area we are ! Life sucks but I am remaining positive and hopeful

Thank you again for all your advice it's nice to talk to people who understand !

It's so hard not to stress about it, but try not to. I was 41 when I had my dd, after a mmc. I was so upset after the miscarriage, I had bereavement counselling, i thought it was my last and only chance at a family.
We went away for a week, forgot about trying to conceive and just had fun, got very drunk and that's when dd was conceived.
I hope it all works out for you.

Ahh that's such an amazing story I'm off on holiday in August !!🤞

Have you had your thyroid tested? I was due to have ivf for no. 2 but had had my thyroid sorted due to the ivf clinic, and fell pregnant while downregging. I had no symptoms.