Advice please...

[Bath321]

Need some advice please...

Myself & DH TTC for a year before I had a miscarriage which was v difficult for both of us. We agreed that I would go onto pill after as DH not ready to try again. Only thing is I didnt actually ever take it- so desperate for a baby & just hoped he’d feel different with happy accident.
This was 2 years ago & nothing has happened, now weve agreed that we want to try again but he doesnt know weve been trying for 2 years!! I hvae spoken to the doctor & he has referred us to a first interview at the fertility specialist but dont know what to say to hubby?!
I know this isnt great from me but so desperate to get pregnant.
Any advice...?

how old are you?

Could you "try" for 6 months then make an appointment.

What you did was not great.

Thanks for your reply, & I know- not my best move.
Im 34 so really would rather not wait & obv feel like Ive been waiting for years already!

I don't think it's that bad and I normally have quite a strong feelings about the morals of lying about contraception to get 'accidentally' pregnant, it's appalling. But in your case he does want a baby though and you've taken the pressure off him and put it all on yourself for two years without him knowing. I wouldn't beat yourself up about it. Do you think he would react badly? I would just tell him you're worried after trying so long before and now you're two years older and it will probably be more difficult so you think you should start the ball rolling on seeing if everything's ok ASAP. Not unreasonable at all.

You could tell him that you've been taking it inconsistently so it shouldn't have been effective and that in reality you should have gotten pregnant in the last 2 years. I'd then get him 'onside' to tell the doctors it's been two years to speed things along.

Or you could just be honest and tell him!
That's probably the better answer but you know your DH and how he will react.

Good luck.