Feeling pretty down at the moment! I'm almost 39, have never been pregnant and have done 1 IVF cycle which failed and have 2 frozen embryos to use. I am constantly told by friends and relatives to 'stay positive' and 'be strong' and 'it'll happen eventually'. I understand they are trying to help but it is very hard living day to day, emotions and mood up and down (mainly down!), listening to pregnancy announcements, hearing how easy it was for friends etc. Just waiting for our follow up appointment is a 5 week wait and I am constantly wishing weeks and months away to get to our next step in the process. All sounding familiar to many, I'm sure.
What I'd really like to know is has anybody had one cycle of IVF and decided, actually I can't live like this anymore – the constant hope and disappointment, all for something which may never happen?
I realise I sound sorry for myself (I am!) but I suffer from anxiety and depression and over the last few weeks have become increasing low. I have no self confidence and feel horrible about myself. I feel like a shadow of my former self and have had some dark thoughts. I think soon I will need anti-depressants and I am thinking maybe not everyone is cut out for this? Why should I put myself through years of IVF to the severe detriment of my mental health? Of course, I really want a family and have been told to expect to do 3 cycles but I have been thinking lately about stopping after trying with these 2 embryos and deciding I've put myself through enough. There must be more to life than this?