What do you say?

[Fiestylittleowl]

What do you say when people ask if you want children? I'm starting to avoid seeing family and friends as I hate having to make up excuses.

It's really shit. We've told family and close friends about our ivf. For friends that aren't as close we say it'll take us a while, or we'll need fertility treatment, depending what mood I'm in. My attitude is, ask an awkward question get an awkward answer. I'm on a mission to educate the world not to ask inappropriate questions!

I used to tell people that I didn't want them, was too selfish to have kids, liked my life as it was etc...

I then didn't tell anyone (except a few bosses at work for time off) that I was having ivf and still haven't to this day.

I got a lot of surprised reactions and wtf's when I told people I was pregnant!

tell them when me and my partner are fucking ready that's when

I normally say all in due time, I like my life how it is at the moment, no shitty nappies and sleepless nights, just make out your not bothered.

I tend to be honest and tell people. I think the more aware people are of fertility issues the better.
But completely understand that some people would rather keep things private.

I say 'very sadly I can't have children'

When we were doing IVF I said that 'sadly it's not happening for us'

I figured that being honest and open was important. Infertility is a fact and there's a lot of stigma and awkwardness around it. I was trying to do my bit to break those patterns!

I found that people's reactions were a whole lot better than expected and they soon stopped asking. Obviously I got a lot of false hope stories and relax it'll happen guff but on the whole people were/are taken aback but kind.

I was always honest

Said Mother Nature wasn't playing ball with me

Real friends knew what we were going through and others didn't mention it again after saying the above

The usual party line for me is 'oh I just love my freedom too much' or 'I'm aware that having a baby changes your life so much I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet'.
It's really, really hard as I'm not ready to talk about it with everyone and anyone yet. I admire those of you who have the courage to talk about it openly. I think I'd crumble.

I've been saying we can't have children. Unfortunately that opens me up to the list of friends and relatives who have of course had miracle babies after they relaxed / easy IVF experiences / adopted children in 4 months etc. Gah.

So I think my next stage will be "we don't want any, thanks for asking" to save my sanity.