IVF - To work or not to work?

[katherine7172]

Hi all

My husband and I are starting IVF very soon, will find out exact dates tomorrow when we see our consultant again.
I currently work 16 hours a week over 2 shifts, these are both night shifts. I know that this is not a lot of hours a week, especially compared to some of you lovely full timers on here! I commend you all!
I only work these hours as I struggle with stress. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety years ago and have managed to deal with it for years because of working less hours, helps me cope better and I've managed to stay in a healthy place. However with the daunting process of IVF coming up, I can feel myself getting more stressed than usual.
I have looked online and read conflicting reports and studies as to whether stress has any impact on IVF and getting pregnant. My husband and I have discussed this on and off, we haven't come to a decision yet. So, my question is what do people think about working or not working through an IVF cycle?
I was just hoping for some advice, stories from anyones personal experiences or, if anyone else is struggling with the decision themselves.

Thanks in advance

If you are in a position where you can afford not to work and won't be stressed more by the lack of money coming in then I personally would take the latter part of your treatment off. By that I mean once you actually start the stimulation drugs and are going to and from the clinic to get scanned, and when you are getting close to the egg collection part as dates and times are all up in the air then and knowing you don't have to worry about work in that week when you have egg collection and hopefully transfer is probably best. I took the time off that week, despite being self employed and therefore not earning anything as trying to fit work around everything and knowing I'd be v distracted it made sense to me. Good luck x

Opposite view here. I don't think stress makes any difference. It either works or it doesn't. I think if you start having a load of time off it actually adds stress as you're putting everything on hold. There's also the factor to consider around what if it doesn't work first time- would u be able to keep having time off each time you did it? (Sorry not meaning to be negative- it may work first time).

I went about my life as normal. I had one day off for egg collection and half a day for embryo transfer. It worked.

Thank you both for replying, I appreciate it

We are in the position where we could afford it and as my husband is in the military, we are due to move once IVF is completed. Therefore I will be leaving my current position and looking for a new one, once we've settled in.
We've also made the decision that this will be our 1st and only attempt, as we've been trying for just shy of 5 years now. We feel like we've said no to things and not done things, as we've always thought oh we could be pregnant so we can't do that and those types of thoughts. So we thought that if IVF doesn't work, we're not going to do anymore attempts and instead say yes to everything we want to do and live our lives differently than before. May sound silly but, we feel like we've put things on hold for these past 5 years.
I guess that's why we didn't know whether I should work or not and put everything into it. I can see your point though, if not working would it add more stress to the situation?

Feel like we keep going round in circles with this

Fair enough- however, my view is that if you're off work, you might be busy obsessing about it with your free time. Work stopped me from doing that as I didn't have the time!

Sorry you've been trying for so long. That's tough. Do u have any diagnosis?

Yeah I completely get your point, it's another thing ti consider in us making our decision. Thank you for being honest

Nope, no diagnosis. A lot of maybes with things but nothing for certain. My first consultant thought I could have PCOS but couldn't for sure say, my second consultant who I have now doesn't think I have. My cycles were between 30-40 but have not settled to 32-34, I have a period every month. Not overweight, no excess hair growth so, they don't think it's that.

My husband and I are 'young' as they say, which I get for IVF we are. But for so long of trying and no diagnosis, it's become very frustrating

Hi, Katherine,

Just thought I'd add my thoughts, having had three unsuccessful IVF cycles. With the first two, I didn't take any time off work, except for the day of egg collection and half a day for embryo transfer. With the third, I decided to take two days off work after embryo transfer as I was stressed due to the fact that it was our third round and, despite not really believing it, I thought 'what if stress really does affect implantation?' I wanted to give myself the best shot possible. However, those two days at home after transfer were a nightmare for me- I obsessed about everything and, as I was at home on my own, I didn't have a sounding board, so got totally trapped in my own head. I was definitely more stressed in the third cycle than the previous two. So personally (and this might just be me) I think that being at home causes more stress than being at work as you have more time to think and worry. I will definitely not take time off next time. It must depend a lot on the type of job, though (I'm a full-time secondary school teacher).

We are due to start cycle 4 in June and our consultant seems to think that, whilst we do have severe male factor infertility, we have been unlucky and IVF should work eventually. I'm only just beginning to realise how much IVF relies on luck. I will keep my fingers crossed that you are lucky first time. Having said all this, I think that if you are only going to do one cycle, you need to be able to see that you really did give that cycle your all and make sure you don't have any regrets. So if you think you might regret not taking the time off if the cycle doesn't work, perhaps you should just take the time off (but try really hard not to go as crazy as so did )

Good luck for the future!

Hi patientlywaiting1234 thanks for your reply

So sorry to hear your other cycles didn't work, I have my fingers and toes crossed for you for your next one!

That seems to be the dilemma, whether being off work will stress me out as I'll be completely in my own thoughts, so would need to fill my time up. Or whether being at work will stress me out throughout the process, as I do get quite anxious and panicky before going into work each week.

From other accounts of people and studies, it seems down to the individual as to whether stress actually affects it. But it is like you said, whether we'd regret not 'putting everything into it' sort of mind set.

I think myself personally I am leaning towards boy working but, I don't know whether to wait to begin the process and see how I am coping with it all before we make the final decision on it, maybe.

As you can see I'm a very indecisive peraon, which doesn't help!

I think as this shows it's totally up to the individual but to explain my reasoning slightly better - I work in a creative industry, so rather than having lots of active time at work, I have lots of thinking time (for want of a better way to describe it!) and for me, in that situation, I was basically being unproductive when I did try to work in that week of egg collection to transfer the first time as instead of thinking of the projects I was meant to be thinking of, I was thinking about all things IVF, which stressed me out hugely.
So what I did more this time (which didn't work either, but don't think that was down to stress!) was accepted that I wouldn't get any work done and filled my time with nice things and seeing people rather than sitting at my desk not working and stressing about not working... so I think the main thing i think we probably all agree on is that you need to fill your time, but if it's better filled with work, then work, but if it's better filled with doing something else then time off work might help? X

Thanks for the reply Hobbes39

That's a good idea, so if I decide not to work it might be best to make plans to do things and to see family and friends to try and keep me from overthinking or dwelling on things.

I think I might wait till we get even closer to the time and see how both my husband and I are feeling, how work life is and hopefully we'll just know.

I hope your next round works for you, I have my fingers crossed for you.

There is zero evidence that stress plays a part in success/failure so do whatever makes you happiest. For me, that was working full time throughout other than 2 days off for egg collection. I 'popped to the bank' for my embryo transfer. I like being busy though and tend to brood if I'm sat at home not doing stuff. Doesn't sound like you're that kind of person though. If you think you'll beat yourself up about working and being stressed if your cycle fails then just take the time off.

I know you've not asked about this, but I'd really rethink the idea of doing one cycle only. Everyone we spoke to told us to think of IVF as a 3 cycle process. The first cycle is often treated almost as a trial run, to see what drugs and doses work best for you. Most people, if they are going to get pregnant, will be after 3 cycles.

I've just resigned from my job because we are going to try IVF. I work part time but as a teacher so it can be very full-on and hard to arrange time off. I have a son (conceived by IUIs which were difficult enough to fit in to working six years ago) and found it very hard arranging IUI last year (3 unsuccessful rounds). We are putting a time limit on this of a year, and probably two rounds, so I felt like I just wanted to give it my best shot. I find staying healthy during busy times at work impossible and in the end decided that not working would be less stressful over all (I hope!), though I definitely like being at work for keeping my mind off things. It still feels daunting and I'm sad to leave my job as was finally making progress, but I'm looking forward to being able to take care of myself and move our lives forward whether it works or not (we will move abroad within the next year or so so I am trying to see this as a transitional time anyway, not an IVF make or break time -easier said than done!).

Wishing you good luck.

Thanks welshweasel, it's always good to hear both sides of it so thank you

I completely hear what you're saying, we only get 1 cycle funded so we would have to go private if we were to go through another cycle. Which is fine but we would have to save up for it so it wouldn't be for a couple of years anyway, as it stands I can only see us doing 1 cycle but, that could completely change in a year or 2 down the line. As we are younger, we have that on our side so it wouldn't be a huge rush for us to do another cycle straight away.

I took three months off, so I wasn't working at all during my treatment. I had a very pressured job though with 10 to 12 hour days and a three hour commute each day. We were successful on the first and only attempt, but I don't think that had very much to do with my not being in the office really. It's mainly down to your doctor, medical team and sheer blind luck.

Your dh could get a personal loan for IVF. Most Uk banks waive income criteria for military personnel.

I originally planned to take annual leave for 3 weeks after starting the injections and to cover the egg collection and transfer. Unfortunately I have a very stressful job and the weeks before my leave were even worse than usual so in the end I went sick. Sadly for me the IVF wasn't successful.

I've read various conflicting reports about the effect of stress and the success of IVF and, while I do think it just boils down to whether it's meant to happen for you or not at any given time, the next time I do it I will be much better prepared in advance. I had been getting more and more stressed at work for a considerable time before we'd even decided on IVF and it's only now that I realise how bad I was and I don't think I gave myself the best chance because neither my body nor my mind were in the right place when we went through it.

We were ttc for five years before having IVF . I have always worked full time and found work a welcome distraction. I definitely would have obsessed over every detail more than I did already if I had more time to.

Our first attempt failed but we were lucky enough to conceive second time around. Thankfully whilst ttc, we didn't stop saying no to things and continued with our lives as before. I was prepared to cancel rather than say no. I'm sorry you have felt the balance wasn't right for you and you've missed out.

Hope things work out for you and that you find happiness.

Hi I worked the week up to egg collections and then took the following week off. I felt this helped me relax without having to deal with work on top of everything else. It depends how open you are with your workplace - for me I didn't feel comfortable explaining why I had to get out for so many appointments. It worked for us. I wish you the best of luck!!

i worked with all 5 of our cycles

the first 4 i did glue,scratch,protein,boiled eggs 3 a day,pineapple, brazilnuts, warm feet as that means warm embroyo etc and all failed

5th cycle did nothing and worked and dd is 5w today and my total dream come true

tho i work nights as a mn so easier as dates and days for app, ec and et can chnage due to lining and how body reacts to drugs

working 2 shifts isnt going to make any diff

I didn't have IVF as managed to conceive through three rounds of OI (ovulation induction - like the stimms part of IVF), but IVF would have been the next step. I echo what Welshweasal said about three rounds of IVF - sure some lucky (if that's a word you can ever use when talking about infertility) couples do get pregnant first time round but most tend to view it as a three cycle course. I personally wouldn't just do a funded round now and more years later as I think it would be like starting again, particularly as you'll be living in a new area by then and attending a different clinic. Therefore I'd prepare to do three in one go or not at all. As someone else said the first round is treated as a bit of a test to see how you react to the drugs and then the approach / doses / brand of drugs are adjusted for subsequent rounds. Finally I would work as it would distract me and allow me to maintain some sense of normality. Best of luck with it all

14w5ds after first IVF. The doctor said as we left after the embryo transfer 'nothing you do now will make any difference; if it works it won't be because of anything you did, and if it doesn't it won't be because of anything you did.' After that, we didn't worry about anything.

Also, we paid the whole cycle privately so not sure if the costs are the same for you, but if you have more than one good embryo it is much much cheaper at our clininc to transfer a frozen embryo compared with a whole cycle including egg collection. So you might not need to save so much before having another go.

We had good results from our 3rd cycle due to higher drugs so had some left to freeze - think 6

4th and 5th ivf try were both fet and cost around £1.5k instead of the £6k on a single fresh cycle

Is there a middle ground between working and 'sitting at home stewing'? Is there some kind of voluntary work you could do? - not necessarily formal stuff in a charity shop or whatever (prolly not fair to them anyway to dip in&out of a commitment), but even just helping a neighbour move stuff or whatever.

I did voluntary work many years ago when I was at a low ebb (totally unrelated to fertility or anything else), and it was a great fillip to my mental wellbeing in several ways. (Am still evangelical about it even 20 yrs later!

Not much to add to the great advice already given here, except to say that I have read that working nights can take its toll more than working daylight hours so although you are only doing 2 shifts a week they may impact your rhythms more than a daytime job. I think (based on no medical knowledge) that IVF is a time when you need all your hormonal and sleep rhythms to be really in sync.

We conceived on our second IVF cycle, by then I was working part time in a much less stressful role than my previous job. Who knows if that made the difference though. As others have said, in retrospect the first cycle was really just a trial to get the drug balance right.

Very very best of luck.