Questions

[physicskate]

Very sorry if this is misplaced, but just wondering what you would do!!

I'm 33. We've been ttc seriously for a year, unprotected for a couple months before all the tracking and timing... I've just had my second chemical.

Went to the gp today because I was feeling quite unwell from the cp, expecting he might mention about bloods or tests or something as it's been over a year... and he said come back after the next miscarriage or in ANOTHER 12 months, whichever happens first!!

To say I'm now in a bad place is an understatement...

What would you do?? What can I do??? I feel it's hopeless... I've basically been told to have another miscarriage before I can get any help. Am I being crazy and unrealistic?

Sorry to hear about your CPs. Your GP is completely wrong and you are not at all crazy or unrealistic. If you are under 35 and TTC 12 months with no viable pregnancy, you should be referred for fertility workups. ALL GPs should be able to order basic bloods for you (and most will/should if you have been TTC 6 months with no pregnancy), a semen analysis for your partner, and refer you on to an assisted conception unit (ACU), assuming neither of you has any previous children.

xx

I would either go back to a different gp or see your gp again and explain that you don't feel like you have been pregnant yet.

Thanks both. I was having a particularly bad day and was worried I was being irrational (oh how this whole process does that!!!).

Neither of us have any kids. I was absolutely flabergasted by the GPs whole 'oh well you have conceived, so all is fine' attitude. Over a year of this shit?? No, not all is well.

I felt like he was saying 'oh hard cheese old girl.' Off you pop for another miscarriage! The one before this was last July... so I'm not looking like beacon of fertility over here! I'm tempted to lie after next cycle and say I had another....

Sorry to hear about your chemicals. Sadly a year ttc is not actually classed as very long. Your gp was probably going by the rule that you should be trying for a year with no pregnancies, the clock resets if you get a positive test. Then I believe it's 3 miscarriages and they'll investigate for recurrent miscarriage (I'm not sure if they will count a chemical as a miscarriage so be careful about telling them you've had another one). Your gp is being very strict but not unheard of. There's not much point in lying as it could lead you down the wrong investigations. If I were you I'd go back and insist on tests, tell him you're very anxious. Also ask your husband to go completely separately and ask for a semen analysis, and tell him not to mention the chemicals. Perhaps when you go back ask for a different doctor although the history will be recorded on your record. Fingers crossed you won't need treatment, but be aware some areas you need to be trying for up to 3 years before treatment will be given. Wishing you all the best xx

Super frustrating! I would rebook with your GP (or another one!) and bring a copy of the NHS website showing you should have testing done, and defo reiterate that you've been 12+ months TTC. I wouldn't lie about any extra CPs as that history will follow you through your infertility investigations and might get confusing.

Sorry you are going through this...
xx