What to tell work about time off for IVF

[Bibs2014]

I want time off for egg collection and transfer. Have already put the feelers out at work saying I have a few gynae issues when I've been going for consultations with the IVF doctor. Am paying privately so want to do all I can to make it work. Work are nosy and will ask why I need the time off. Any suggestions?

Gosh, I feel for you - been there. I think unless you have a warm relationship with your boss, and the workplace culture is unusually supportive, I would be inclined to keep things private. It is private and no one's business. Also you want to avoid well-meaning and earnest people asking you "how did it go?" or worse "are you pregnant yet?" all the time.

I'm appalled that work is nosy and asking why you need the time off. FFS, you've told them you have a "few gynae issues" - isn't that enough? I wouldn't elaborate much, just smile and say "I have a couple of gynaecological issues that require medical attention, and I know you'll understand that I really don't wish to go into too much detail".

I wish you all the best of luck!

It's a small company, mainly women, who tell each other everything like when they're on their period.

I started to give small details to my office manager to put the feelers out saying I was going because I had pains and had to have some scans to see what was wrong. It actually helped because I said I needed to go on certain days of my cycle and they let me go that afternoon which was great otherwise I would've had to delay starting by another month.

When I say work is nosy I mean the office manager is nosy

I asked my GP and she gave me a note which I think was for gyn procedure and recovery

Quite frankly is none of your office manager's business. Just say you have a medical appointment. If they ask for more details, just say you'd rather not talk about it.

I think not telling them may cause more attention. I just want to fob them off with some medical procedure and don't know what to say

Loki - already booked to see doc for sick note.

I was vague about medical procedures that I didn't feel comfortable talking about. Before IVF, I had a hysteroscopy under general anaesthetic that got me signed off for a week, could you say something like that? I also had a polyp removed during the procedure.

Thanks blue that could work. I realised today I have a boozy weekend away with friends week before OTD so need to give them an excuse too.

Oh man, my manager has only had the same procedure I have lied that I said I'm having

Oh dear! You could get the gory details beforehand and then play it back to her afterwards - wow we went through the exact same experience

Just my luck hey!

Can you not just book a couple of days leave? I've been through many IVF rounds and have never told work a thing. I'm lucky that we have a good annual leave and flexi system but I would just book the necessary days off and tell them a friend was coming down or I was having a long weekend away or having some furniture delivered blah blah blah. I would rather keep that side of my life private and wouldn't even want them to know I was having gynae issues!

I couldn't book the time off because I have a massive deadline the week after which I can't miss. So I had to tell them something which couldn't be moved.

I was upfront from the start. They were very supportive and when my first round failed even asked if I would like to go home. I was lucky my second round worked and all my colleagues came to my son's christening and one of them is a godmother!

I have told my HR lady what is going on so she knows. My boss is male and tbh I think he has guessed but I just said I had to have a procedure done and I need the day and a day off after due to sedation and then another check up a couple of days later. I can take sick I believe for the egg collection but I will probably take holiday once I know the dates and my boss has said I can work at home around procedures.

Difficult isn't it? Good luck for it