Giving up before we're off the ground

[MrsLoisLane]

Hi all. On second cycle of clomid. I'm seriously considering just saying no more! I'm just wasting my time and terrified I'll need ivf which probably won't work. Aibu to cut my losses?

Anyone? Im going on hol today for a big birthday spent most of yesterday crying because i cant cope and dont want to go away

Hi,

I think you need to give it more time. You might be clomid resistant (I was) but you might just need to increase your dose. Or it might just be a case of needing to give it more time!
Ultimately, even with clomid, you only have a 1 in 3 chance approx of falling pregnancy each time you ovulate so it's certainly not a miracle pill.

Even if clomid doesn't work for you there are still other options before heading for IVF- Femara (an alternative to clomid that I am also resistant to ), and IUI (if your DH has good sperm- which mine doesn't )

Things are never as bad as you think. Go away- have a lovely relaxing holiday. DTD lots for the fun of it and worry about the clomid once you're back.

I've been there, it's horrible and frustrating- but you still have many many options x

Thanks rose im a wimp so it doesnt help. Dh has super sperm so im the weak link which is great! I dont want to go to the ends of the earth for a child so i suppose i need to reconsider

hello - i'm a weak link too - dh's sperm test came back with a smiley face and a 'perfect' comment on it! Don't give up yet, i know several people that got pg on the second + clomid cycles, and one that went through clomid and then the next thing that was similar worked. We all have DC now. I've got other friends who got PG on the 1st round of IVF. Do something nice to take your mind off it. Clomid makes you feel crazy, infertility is a long road - I remember never thinking I'd hold a baby. I've got 2 DDs now, the first time in my life I've ever felt truly grateful was each time I held my baby - it's worth it, hang in there, don't give up. Have a lovely holiday.

Mrs Oh I am the weak link too! My body is royally screwed! So I know all too well how you feel.

It's just that we have the added complication of poor sperm count and morphology too

Things always feel a little bit better after a break- we all have moments of feeling like this is never going to happen..... I'm having one of them too at the mo...., but it will pass and you will continue to try x

Mrs Oh I am the weak link too! My body is royally screwed! So I know all too well how you feel.

It's just that we have the added complication of poor sperm count and morphology too

Things always feel a little bit better after a break- we all have moments of feeling like this is never going to happen..... I'm having one of them too at the mo...., but it will pass and you will continue to try x

I'm a weak link too - however 18 months last time round and however many cycles it was your allowed of Clomid in a row I didn't get pregnant

As soon as I said no more for at least a year as I was too stressed and needed to grieve and consider life without children - I fell pregnant right away (he's nearly 4 now and am TTC again)

It's such a cliche but I wonder if stress hormones play a big part in ovulation and implantation not occurring - I didn't even think I'd ovulated the month I fell

If it's too much - give up, but don't prevent. You can always return to it in 6-12 months

Thanks ladies. Its the constant questions from others that piss me off i dont need chivvying along thanks! You go through being diagnosed pcos at 29 and desparately searching options and facing failure then well see how you like to be asked!

How old are you now? I was diagnosed over 6 years ago and I think grieving for 2 years even still when I was pregnant - the uncertainty of it all, the realisation my body wasn't "trusted" the fear of extra risks etc I wanted to crawl under a rock

I was later diagnosed with endometriosis too which was my give up point really - decided I needent ever use protection and next thing I was in shock staring at my impossible bfp

I think they should offer counselling with diagnosis really. People underestimate what it does mentally to you

Hopefully you won't need it but IVF isn't always terrible. I have PCOS and severe endometriosis and found IVF absolutely fine. For me I liked the feeling that I was actually doing something proactive. DS now 6 months old!

the relax advice I couldn't take before I had dc1 - I do think the worry and stress is unhelpful, but it's very hard to relax when you're desperate to have a baby. DC2 just came along, we couldn't believe it after trying to have DC1 for 2+ years, we were just talking about starting up treatment again as we'd written off the idea it would happen by itself.

Im 30 dh 38 so want to have a child soon due to his age really. I agree counselling should be given. Mine is supposedly mild but still cant get pregnant!

You've got time on both of your sides op, I've got many friends that had first dc when they were in their 40s, doesn't sound bad to me!

Hello all. Have cancelled my next gyn appt. Weve stopped the process

Hi Loislane,

I hope you're okay, it's so awful I know. I'm like a whirlwind of emotions right now and keep wondering if it might be easier to just give up. I'm sure you can restart later on if you decided you would like to. A break from it all might do you the world of good. (Clomid is certainly not helping me and my emotions )
I know what you mean about the constant asking, people do the same to me. Whatever you decide, be kind to yourselves and remember your not alone.

yes the great thing about Clomid is that it's easy to start back up, or any of the other ovulation boosters. Life is too short to be miserable, that's for sure. I've got my fingers crossed it happens for you.