The mind numbing boredom of infertility III

[icy121]

Are you Barren & Bored? You've come to the right place!

We do: swearing, empathy, bitterness, tears, sardonic laughter, glittery shit and mocking idiots who know nothing jon snow.

We don't do: baby dust, relentless positivity, "u ok hun", "I had a friend who..", pithy advice or sentimentality generally.

Previous threads 1 and 2.

Now that you've got all that down, welcome to the barren ghetto.

Good luck peaop - the force is strong with these socks! 🍪🍪🍪

Hurrah for being enembryonated icy - although what a head fuck to get there, third time's a charm?!

closephine the Alex Jones thing is pissing me off beyond all belief. Me and my fertility? Yeah you briefly worried about it and then wowee instadiff!!! Perfect face for an infertility campaign. FFS

Well I'm officially in limbo land although really it's all over and tomorrow is just a formality. Did a piss stick and was negative so asked if we could do a blood test before we ordered more meds / so I didn't have to stay off my painkillers unnecessarily just to pee on sticks over the weekend. Blood test showed I was neither pregnant nor not pregnant. hCG of 5: under 5 is negative, 25+ is pregnant, 5-25 is the grey zone. Mine was 5. Repeat bloods tomorrow but piss stick still BFN so this one is obvs a chemical and isn't going anywhere. Hope we can just put this one to bed quickly and draw a line under the whole sorry episode.

Oh banana that sucks big time. X

Sorry to hear your news banana.

Good luck PeaOp (or if it's already done then hope it went well!) and congrats to icy, hope the wait goes quickly.

My stimming is going ok, should have EC next week but will know for sure on Monday. Now I'm bricking it because what if they don't manage to get any eggs out of my geriatric follicles? What if they're all empty and shrivel up? God, the worrying will never end, will it?

Echo the fuck offs to Oliver and Jones (both Alex and Bridget). Sick of people only talking about infertility AFTER they manage to get pregnant/have children, wish there were more people (even celebs) who talked about going through infertility and NOT having a child but being OK anyway. It's nonstop 'traditional' happy endings and I'm sick of it!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2733363-omfg-i-am-upduffed

I find this irritating.

Oh sweet Jesus LH

Handhold because we want another baby, and I am pregnant!!! But OMFG!!!

Cock off.

FFS!! The world outside the barren ghetto seems to be an unending battle against contraceptive failure

Jools Oliver seems remarkably fertile for someone who said she had fertility issues from PCOS. Alex Jones as the face of an infertility campaign boils my piss

Someone like Jaime King on the other hand actually gets it

"For all the struggling women & moms out there that think they are alone – This is the truth about conceiving my son and struggles after. 8 yrs of pain and undiagnosed PCOS & Endometriosis. 9 doctors until Dr. Randy Harris diagnosed me & saved my life from a severe ectopic, 5 miscarriages, 5 rounds of IVF, 26 IUI's, most with no outcome, 4½ years of trying to conceive"

www.people.com/people/mobile/article/0,,20838110,00.html

That's someone who actually has a bloody clue about infertility

Ffs that thread is basically attention seeking 'look how fertile I am!' rubbish. I sometimes torture myself with little visits to the conception board to see all those 'all aboard the May BFP bus' threads and I go from beginning to end to see how many of them get upduffed within the month (all of them).

Banana - sorry you are in limbo land. It could still go the right way, it's still early etc etc... all the things you will have been told already and probably don't help but they're true. There's still hope. Fingers, toes and eyes crossed for you for a rise tomorrow.

That thread has made me so angry. She actually said "this is my third pregnancy on contraception" and everyone else was like "my mirena baby is now 12"!!!! Grrrrrrr.

i just tried a bit of September bus and had to run away. Nowhere near cynical enough.

this article is so ridiculous I was expecting to see it had been published on April 1st www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-3781226/Trying-conceive-Fertility-expert-reveals-7-tips-boost-chances-pregnant.html

By the way... I don't go looking for these. Both have been posted by a fertility support group I follow on Facebook, leading me to fear that I'm even more bitter than most fellow infertiles!

Friday again fiends. Been a busy week for some of us. Thinking of those of you on the shity waiting game.
My OH has gone out to meet some friends and their OH. I couldn't face it. I feel guilty for leaving him to go alone but it's just hard work watching them laugh, drink and be merry. So I'm in my PJ's enjoying a glass of 🍷. I thought long liar and hard about what you all said re the drinking V's not drinking argument and figured 1 glass won't hurt.

1 week to go until hysteroscopy and scratch. In a sadistic sort of way I can't wait. Just want to get that camera up the fanjo and know whether or not I have a horribly barren inhospitable environment.

I would be quite excited about a hysto as well Karla. If my current cycle doesn't work that will be my next step.

4dp5dt....time is moving at a comedy slow pace. Clexane is clearly working as yesterday I looked down in a meeting and my tummy was leaking blood all over my pale pink top. Marvellous look. I excused myself as I had had a 'cappuccino disaster'.

We've had a call and 5 have passed the first hurdle and fertilised. In on Monday for transfer (I presume unless they call us to say hang on til day 5). Very relieved that any fertilised at all and now off to bake some gingerbread to try take my mind off it.

PeaOp that's fantastic!

Karla I can understand that, I deal much better with shitty certainty that uncertainty.

LH quick thinking, I'm not sure what I would have done.

Hello all, I am still very much here and have been lurking everyday but silent with nothing to say.

Had three letters today. One telling me funding has been refused for egg sharing, although we are welcome to pay for it. One telling me we are allowed one more chance with an egg donor if we can find one, and one telling me I am a new IVF patient and need a scan before commencing treatment in August.

Does anyone think it's about time someone went full on mumsnet IVF infertility mental at them, or should I just calm myself down and go private, part of me is so fucking angry I want to sue them. The other part thinks fuck them. Votes are on. Xx

Gah, missed half my list there.

Nothing to say because I am in no mans land, and feeling useless amongst you all, have been reading though and thinking of you all. Not nothing to say because I don't care, I really do. But feel a little silly because everyone else seems to be making progress and I am one time failed IVF, nothing wrong, (although now low amh) seek a donor person.

Fourpaws I'm so glad you posted, I've been wondering how you are. Have you had another AMH test recently? From what I've read, that can go up as well as down - I think Banana can testify to that?

Can I vote for you/your DH going full on infertility mental at them? May I suggest the below (which I know is a variation on what you've tried already, but one more shot and all that). Whereas some people have fab private treatment, in the UK private treatment sometimes seems like the NHS but more expensive - still the same cockups!

Write out a timeline of what has happened to you. Use factual, unemotional language. Identify every cock up, from the major (prescribing the wrong kind of treatment - see if you can find some other NICE/NHS trust pdf online that explains what you should have had) to the minor (receiving three contradictory letters on the same day). If necessary, I'm sure women with IVF experience on this thread will write you a short email explaining what medical treatment they had and why, so you'll have an appendix of RL evidence from some of the best IVF clinics in the UK. Calmly request another review meeting, and be specific about what NHS treatment you would like next, and why, and when.

Send the entire document to your MP, asking them for confidentiality and for them or one of their reps to attend the meeting with you. Send it to the hospital and the NHS trust, stating that you've copied it to the MP, and asking if they have a patient advocate who could attend the meeting with you. In my experience (I used to do campaigning work for an organisation), most MPs are really good in this situation. They might not be able to attend, but they will often contact the hospital on your behalf to plead your case, and I've seen them write to Secretaries of State to name and shame public organisations giving shitty treatment to the public and/or to complain about the RL effects a Govt/NHS/local council policy is having on people.

Sorry for long message. But I'm furious on your behalf, and I really think you've got a strong case.

Hi fourpaws good to know you are still out there. Whilst I fully agree with everything robber has said so well I think if it were me I would let it go. These people have already told you they have no idea how to get you pregnant and I wouldn't trust them whether you won another round on the nhs or were directing your own private treatment. It's very unfair but I think it's partly down to the nhs postcode lottery if it helps to think of it that way. With low amh time is not on your side and I think you'd be better to put your energy into finding a clinic with good results with low amh and getting on with it at a clinic who does have the knowledge and belief that it is possible. Hope this isn't insensitive in any way

I don't really know what to suggest fourpaws. Would you be happy having another cycle there if a second appeal worked, or would you also want to be transferred?

Thanks all. I think part of the problem is I am so torn and don't know what I want (a baby). I can do one more IVF there but they say it will fail, so I am like with that attitude what's the point. They keep banging on about egg donation but then tell me fundings refused. Dh on ploughing just now so massive hours and no real opportunity to sit down and talk properly, only got letters yesterday.

Going to phone them re the three different letters and get an appointment for a few weeks time. Let me think about things. I'm starting to feel mentally stronger again, in a better place than I was certainly.

I emailed the Glasgow clinic suggested earlier on thread and have a private appointment at the Edinburgh mobile clinic being sent out so will see what they suggest.

Part of me thinks if I have an nhs shot left, use it. But if they have no faith in it, it's a huge battering which might be better saved for somewhere who does care.

fuck me four they absolute dicks. I would definitely meet the other clinics and see their views in the meantime, but think you're right to get an appt with the NHS and give yourself time to decide what you want to do. Robber's unemotional timeline would be an excellent thing to complete as well, it will probably help you to get your head round it all too.

Fuckwits. I'd dob on them to the MP just to fuck them up. I'd also do an FOI request on the standard protocols they put IVF patients on.

Hang in there though. And don't think you can't post because you're not having treatment! You're mind numbingly bored and barren. This is your home xxx

Echoing the other ladies four - definitely worth going for consults in the mean time. The clinic sound like prize twats

Everything crossed for you peaop!

Hope you're surviving so far icy

Well I'm in WTF land. My beta yesterday (9dp5dt) was inconclusive - neither pregnant nor not pregnant. Today I'm getting squinter on FRER. But positives on Clearblue digis

So not sure where this will go. Just have to watch and wait and see where the betas go as to whether this is a slow starter or a chemical.

Four I think getting the private second opinion is worth it. If they say short protocol then surely you can have that written down and then discuss again? Agree with the FOI request.
I personally don't think I'd do another cycle at that clinic if there was a way I could afford to go private. You don't sound like you trust them and it's a lot to go through for a likely poor outcome if they won't change anything. Based on stuff I've read hear I def don't think you need to go down the donor route just yet.
Afm im d18 of dr and period has just made an appearance. Was starting to get rather worried.

Evening everyone

Fourpaws - I wonder if you could get advice/suggestions from the private clinic for protocol etc and then push for those options with the NHS? Or are the NHS not willing to go with anything other than their approach? In which case, going full on IVF infertility mental might not get you anywhere, but might make you feel better at least!

Banana - still hoping this goes the right way for you but get that it's probably easier to think the worst. When is your next blood test?

I'm irritating myself at the moment. 7dpo and that hope that appears this time each month is back. HOW AND WHY is it still lingering after so many months (years) of the same thing?! Nothing. 3 years of NOTHING. Yet despite having zero symptoms I can hear my brain going 'this could be your month!'.