The mind numbing boredom of infertility III

[icy121]

Are you Barren & Bored? You've come to the right place!

We do: swearing, empathy, bitterness, tears, sardonic laughter, glittery shit and mocking idiots who know nothing jon snow.

We don't do: baby dust, relentless positivity, "u ok hun", "I had a friend who..", pithy advice or sentimentality generally.

Previous threads 1 and 2.

Now that you've got all that down, welcome to the barren ghetto.

Thanks for new thread icy. I'm glad you're feeling better.

Bean I'm so sorry to hear that. Is it worth testing again on Tuesday? Thinking of you, try to look after yourself and we're here if you need us.

Pepper so sorry. Take your time, it's a tough thing to go through! Look after yourself. Hope you're being looked after too.

Well done banana on the haul!!!

Grumpel hope all going OK with the prep.

We had our consolation dinner at Hawksmoor last night (the "now I can eat rare meat again and drink again so let's do it" one). It was properly barren-tastic. We had amazing cocktails both before and after, loads of steak, incredible desserts, and wine . Spent tons of £££ and refuse to feel guilty at all. As banana said, fuck yeah. I managed to only mention fertility stuff once and didn't cry or even get sad when I got sloshed. Success.

Update on my treatment, very boring compared to you guys. We had our appointment (booked months ago) yesterday with nurse re IUI. They kept us waiting an hour, didn't have our notes (because I was pregnant they think they're at antenatal) and asked me the bluntest questions like "do you have a baby" (erm no, I wouldn't be here having NHS treatment if I did) and was very insensitive about the miscarriage. The whole thing took forever. We wanted to bash our heads against a wall, but got through it and should be having a round next cycle. We also have an IVF appointment next month to get that ball rolling too.

Lobbing glittery shit and wishing you all barren-tastic weekends - sofa and Netflix?

oh bean. It still early. But am not going to give you platitudes. Would hang in there for just a couple of days longer.

icy fear not my doctor also said that in the future all transfers will be FETs as the uterine environment is so much better. The dip in the stats is mostly from embies that were frozen using the old /slow vitrification method and are only now being defrosted. Yours will be flash frozen (bit like waitrose frozen veggies) and therefore hardy little buggers.

kiwi that meal sounds AMAZING. Hope you enjoyed it. Well done on not becoming a drunken emotional snotty mess too, I am extremely impressed. Your nurse sounds hopeless, what is it with all these useless fuckwits in barren-ology? It must be the rotation no one wants at HCP school. That'd be typical, wouldn't it?!

pepper . Thinking of you x

Hey fiends, just checking in.

Finally had a period post epic miscarriage disaster so starting to think what next.

Kiwi well done on the forbidden fruits extravaganza. I have also enjoyed spending cash and eating/drinking verboten stuff and it's been great.

Good luck for all the upcoming embryo transfers and pregnancy tests. Looks like there'll be lots of updates in the coming days. I'm thinking shitty thoughts for all of you

So, have my baseline scan in Monday for attempt 2 at even starting IUI. Anyone care to lay bets on whether
A) the cyst on my left ovary has buggered off
B) my right ovary has decided it is it's turn to add a delay in...

FX for all those waiting xx

Having a barrenstastic Saturday. A little shopping with OH this morning and I'm now tucking into a new book and a bag of pic n mix while he watches the football... while trying to forget for just 5 minutes about the 2 little embryos who may or may not still be plodding on. Life would be great if it wasn't for that huge, exhausting situation.

potatoes congrats on that period 👍 And hello to everyone else..

Kiwi that weekend sounds brill. I'm
Plotting a similar night out when we know for certain this hasn't worked out. Do you think your nurse and my embryologist went to the same school of twatishness?

Karla - pic and mix and pretending there aren't two potential humans sounds like a genius plan.

Potatoes glad things moving ahead.

I found you all!! Thought I'd lost you all for good and would have to try go it alone from now on.
banana any sign of things settling down? I am starting to wonder about fresh transfer now. I may not have the option when it comes to it, but starting to think Frozen FET maybe for the best.
icy was it confirmed when you'd do ET?
vix and bean Have you taken time off work for Tuesday? Must be hard to try act normal on and around a OTD.
karla I can imagine your now aware of every teeny little feeling between your legs! Hoping it's a good sign.
grumpel is it not the case that sometimes the grading of the embryo is irrelevant? However, I know it must feel very worrying, especially after the Dr said that to you. I hope you get to prove them wrong.

Hello to everyone else, I hope the lurkers found us too.
House dust to all of you! (and dog shite)

apologies the thread didnt up date on my phone before I posted. Sorry bean I am also wishing it maybe slightly too soon to test.
Yay potatoes how fucking cruel that we celebrate a period and it brings us some gust to plan for what's next. Hope your feeling much much better.

Hello, I'm jumping in!

Not entirely barren, as I managed to conceive easily with my little girl, but wow, secondary infertility is a fucker. Been trying two years, tried Clomid, had a lap and dye. Not the merest hint of pregnancy. Last year's attempts also thwarted by my daughter becoming severely ill and everyone spending plenty of time in hospital. Not conducive to ttc.

So I meet with my ivf nurse next week, to start ivf proper with my next AF, in about 2-3 weeks. Add to that, moving house twice next month (probably around transfer day) and my daughter probably going in for surgery.

My life is brilliant! And totally boring!

Nice to meet you all.

Hi Pebbles, I am working from home Tuesday which is good. So can go hospital early and have the blood test. Phone at 2 for results. Trying to be optimistic! Trying to hold on to the 2 positive tests that got darker and the symptoms I'm having! So nervous.

Fiends, managed to lock self out f MN and all my Pw changes were going to junk. Smart.

bean - it might be too early? I hope so.

kiwi YAAAASSS to the steak! Altho tbh I'm not a massive steak person, eating off plan is so necessary. I'm not at all surprised that your latest hospital experience has been shit. I know "the NHS is the closest thing people to have to religion" but it's really not my religion. I've discovered I'm exceptionally right wing when it comes to the provision of healthcare (have seen some of the shambolic waste first hand, as an outsider). Anyway - that's just to say, with any NHS treatment I always go into it expecting it to be Kafka-esque and hope to be pleasantly surprised. It's such a long and dull process though. We feel your pain 💪 For not crying about infertility too.

potatoes OMChrist alive thank fuck for period finally getting underway. You must be so bloody see what I did there relieved! Hurrah!! Except now you can start a different indeterminable wait for the next barren-related activity. It's never fucking ending!! But I am glad, if you can come to an 'end' and draw a full stop to it, that's got to be a good thing. Dig shit and glitter and gin and sugar.

karla you lost me at pic n mix [salivates]. Reading is a good move to try to turn brain off. Also colouring, I got the thunder cunt colouring book that someone posted ages ago. bucket of shit for you!

peaop what odds are you offering please? I'm minded to put a quid on B.... I hope it goes well. What time is the appointment?

Congrats vixx, hold onto the 2 sticks! What are those blower things that kids use at parties that snake out when you blow them? Anyway I'm doing one of them for you!

Thanks for all of the "FET isn't a disaster it is a blessing" reassurance, I was in a proper tizz. Embryologist called today. They froze 7 this morning and there may be another tomorrow but she doubts it. So now it's waiting again. They are making me wait a cycle in between; my long pocs cycles are long and crap so I think ET will in all likelihood be at the back end of AUGUST. Jesus. Mind you we are going to Greece with OH kids in early Aug so probably just in time to get Zika. Score.

I know I'm mentally turning off from all this now; today was the 2nd day I forgot to do my buserelin jab & take the tablet, I'm being lax with metformin, I'm drinking and eating whatever the hell passes my face. I've basically slipped into Christmas Mode. Back on it Monday, get into my insulin resistant blood sugar blah blah no snacking THIS IS FUN diet. If FET is ok August then I reckon I've got 10-12 weeks to get body into temple mode. I'm sure boxers get fighting fit quicker than that.

Hello zenzie we've had some secondary barren fiends here before; tbh they don't tend to stick about, I hasten to add, it's not because we've got a 'policy' - we really don't! It's a very different type of longing I imagine, more around wanting a sibling for your kid? Also all the more frustrating bc your body has done it before I suppose. Sorry your kid is ill, is it very serious?

Just a thought..... Does anyone know if I could go on the pill for a month next month to get a 28 day period?? Or will the clinic want a "natural" one? As if any of this fucking process is fucking natural

icy do you ov normally? Would be easier for them to give you a course of provera to induce a bleed once they're satisfied your ovaries have settled - no need to wait ages. The one good thing about being barren - no such thing as a natural cycle!!

Oh and day 6 embies are great - I got 6 of them and dr said they're just as good as day 5s. So 8 embies is a fantastic haul!!

potatoes so pleased you had a period can't believe I just typed that

zenzie welcome!

Ps all the body is a temple low gi bollocks is basically n/a now for PCOSers as that's all linked to getting you to ovulate and IVF bypasses that. They'll medicate you up the wazoo to get the right lining for FET, but useless effing ovaries are officially sidelined. Hah. So eat drink and be merry (but do take your met!).

Welcome back icy - wondered where you had gone! Good news on what you have to freeze.

Pebbles - actually I'm back at work for the first time on Tuesday. I'm meant to take them in a urine for them to test - I might see if they will give me their test instead to save me to pain of going in with a negative and having to take time off work. As far as j can see the only point of going in is for more pessaries if positive.

Zenzie - I'm technically secondary too except it took over 2 years and some treatment to get our daughter. Sorry to hear your child is unwell.

Afm another neg test this morning. Ho hum. Shall buy wine today to chill for Tuesday night.

Thanks for the welcome. I see I have some work to do getting up to speed on terminology and suchlike. I feel like I'll know a lot more when I've met with the nurse - my FS is pretty abrupt and talks a mile a minute, so the details are always patchy.

Icy, yes, sadly my little one has been very ill, a huge shock for us. She was right as rain until age 2.5, when the big C came calling. Lots of treatment and she's out the other end, but there's still heaps of follow up and worry. To be honest, IVF and ttc have taken a huge backseat and I don't have anywhere near the mental space to obsess think about getting pregnant than I did before. It's sort of good, in a way, though for a really bloody awful reason.

So, is everyone IVF-ing on here, or a bit of a mix?

vixx sounding very promising!!

7 frozen embies is brilliant. Well done!
Like stealth says they will create the right lining for you with the fet.

I can't believe how much knowledge everyone on here has!

Sorry to hear that bean. It's shit

Welcome zenzie, sorry to hear about you little one.

Karla stay strong!

Fingers crossed bean for Tuesday, but good plan having the wine ready!

Hang in there karla.

Fingers crossed vixx, it sounds promising but you're right to be cautious I think.

Hi potatoes! I've been thinking about you. Glad to hear you have a period! Can't believe what you went through, I feel lucky to have had a straightforward miscarriage in comparison (can't believe I just wrote that). Glad to hear you've also been splashing the cash, I just reached a "fuck it all" point (Google Frozen movie fuck it all parody, it's great. I have that in my head a lot at work )

Peaop good luck! Maybe we can do IUI together, if my stupid nurse can get her shit together.

Icy amazing, that's great!

Sorry to hear about your daughter zenzie. We're a bit of a mix, some going through IVF, some not. I'm hopefully having IUI and then IVF soon, I got pregnant naturally while waiting but then miscarried at 12 weeks.

Guys it just occurred to me, when I finally get to IVF I'm going to need you all around for advice as you know so much! You're not allowed to leave this thread

Hey you lovely lot! Just checked in and read up on end of the last thread and place marking here...

Good luck for all your test dates, welcome newbies and if you're still lurking bip I'm wishing you lots of happiness for the future.

I'm now 10w5d and have my '12 week' scan on Friday. Can't help but still feel the doom that both twins will have disappeared. Still haven't bought anything for them and not planned anything yet - it's all too much to mess with what could be.

However, I'm being sick most mornings and the tiredness has hit. Still on the progesterone pessaries too but the folic acid gives me a dodgy tum...!

Anyway, will check in and see how you're doing, and chucking glittery dog shit at every opportunity! Xxx

Laura I totally empathise with your ambivalent feelings, I too just assumed something would go wrong and didn't want to get my hopes up, kept squeezing myself into my normal clothes. I am only just getting my head round it now as my bump (26 weeks) is so gigantic. All the best for your scan.

Icy may be the force be with your magnificent 7. As others have said, don't be disheartened by FET, they have frozen the best of your bumper crop and you could be on track to produce a netball team (took me ages to think of a sport with seven team members...).

Bip sending your every type of glittery dog shit for your future life.

And I will continue to lurk and mentally support all you desperate barrens both on and off the dreaded IVF rollercoaster. May the stork's dogs pass glittery pee and poo on you all.

Have had a lovely barren-tastic day of sleeping - brunch - cinema. Feel rested and calmer (thank fuck!)

Kiwi - loved the sound of your Hawksmoor extravaganza. I'm half planning something similar in case I need a consolation prize.

Got my fingers crossed for you, Bean.

Hope the 2ww isn't passing too slowly for you, Karla. Thinking hopeful thoughts for you too.

Zenzie - welcome! Sorry to hear about your daughter. What a tough time you have had.

Hello and glittery dog turds to you all. x

Classic ad targeting fail, on a thread about infertility I am have sidebars on BOTH sides for Clarks first shoes collection. Oh the irony.

And now the morning after pill! What is going on?!?

So unsurprisingly I'm out. And pretty hacked off. Technically otd is tomorrow with a 25iu test but the SuperDrug 10iu was neg this am so I know there's no way it'll be positive. I've refused to go in to do a urine test and instead have picked it up to do at home. No way am I sitting there to be told it's negative and have to miss more work and be there without manshape.
Wine tomorrow for sure.

Glittery crap to you all xx

Sorry to hear that, bean. No helpful words- it's just totally shit. Good plan to bypass the clinic at least and sort the test yourself. and for you.