As bad as it gets?

[Patientlywaiting1984]

So I posted earlier in the week, fretting about my husbands SA. We got the results this afternoon and no sperm was detected. We think it might be due to him contracting mumps as a teenager. We are a complete mess and can't think straight. Has anyone out there been through this? Is this as infertile as we can be?

This happened to us, we think it was due to an injury.
Icsi was the option open to us with the immature sperm being taken surgically from the testes.
We weren't successful but we were unlucky , we got plenty of top grade fertilised embryos.
It isn't the end of the line by any means and yes you could be more infertile than this because both of you could have problems.
Don't despair.

Hi, we also recently found out that DH has no sperm. First thing he needs to do is get a blood test for FSH, testosterone and LH. This will tell you if the lack of sperm is due to a blockage or an injury/genetics/hormonal etc. It's highly likely that it is due to his mumps but it doesn't necessarily mean that there are no sperm in his testicles. What are the next steps for you?

Thank you both. We're just a bit shell shocked at the moment and are trying to get our heads around things. I'm so sorry that you're both going through the same thing.... it's horrible isn't it?

The doctor didn't say a great deal... my husband is going to do another SA to double check things and then the doctor said we'd be referred to a specialist. That's all he said, though. I guess we'll do another test and take it from there.

I'm trying to work out whether it's better to accept things as they are or hope for the best.... what's more healthy in the long run? I dunno... I just didn't see this coming.

Wishing everyone else out there the best of luck xx

In remember the day we got that news , it was like being hit with a sledgehammer. I just didn't see it coming at all.
My lovely dh retreated into himself, I bought wine and drank myself to sleep, dark dark days.
Looking back we were in shock , its almost like a bereavement so give yourselves plenty of time.
What I really want to say is that this isn't as final as you fear, this will dictate the path ahead but there is a path.
Deciding to have treatment or not is something you both need to consider.
Is accepting it and not having children something you can imagine right now?
I couldn't at the time and we went on to have 4 icsi.
We spent a lot of money that we didn't have and it took its toll in all sorts of ways, my career for one.
So maybe the wrong decision in hindsight but the only one I could have made at the time.
I met people in our situation and it all worked out great as well.
You have a lot to think about and come to terms with but you still have some control and its not over.

Thank you for sharing your experience Jackie0, it sounds like you've had a really difficult time. What does the future hold for you now?

I think we are both in shock and don't know how to process it. It's like we're stunned and it does feel like a bereavement. However, we have always said that we would happily adopt, so perhaps this is a route we can go down. We just need to get through the next days/weeks and go from there.

Thank you again, it makes a massive difference not feeling like the only person in the world with this problem x

It really does . I was a regular on another site 'fertility friends ' and I don't know where I would have been without it.
It's important to take care of your mental health and for me being able to vent /cry / whatever on forums with people who understood was part of that.
There are many people here who will give you fantastic support and advice re adoption and if that is something that you think might be for you then there are lots of exciting times ahead.
We are a bit older now and are at peace with not having children.
We enjoy being a twosome and we love our life. I look back at it all like it happened to someone else.
My heart goes out to anyone experiencing infertility, its so much more than people imagine.
I wish you the very best in whatever path you choose.