Right things to say to friend during IVF

[LeonardaCohen]

Hi there, I hope I'm in the right place for this question.
I have a friend just starting IVF ( she has quite bad endometriosis) and I want to offer her as much support as I can. She lives in Canada so it'll all be by email.

I'm wondering what you have all found helpful / dreadful in how friends have responded to you going through this. Did anyone say or offer anything that helped?
TIA

I'm sure it's different for everyone, but I appreciated the chance to talk about it. So I'd start with the basics - how's it going, how are you feeling, do you want to talk about it, what happens next, etc. and see how much she wants to talk.
I found it to be a fascinating process the first time and was able to talk about the science of it really openly, it made me feel like I was talking control and making something happen. The first time didn't work and I found the second time a lot harder, and tried to downplay it a lot more.
One thing I liked both times was friends dropping me messages which showed they were thinking of me, but ones I didn't feel I had to answer.
Once stimms are under way there are scans every 2 days, which means news to be nervous about every 2 days, then it's daily updates after egg collection, and that's when I really appreciated knowing I wasn't alone.
Emails are great because she can read them when she wants and not have to put on a front like you do face to face sometimes.
Hope its smooth and successful for her.

Yep, like johendy says, maybe just be there to listen if she wants to talk about it. It's all a bit of an emotional rollercoaster and it's good to have the support of lovely friends at times.

Can I make a 'what not to say' suggestion? Don't ask her if she has thought about adoption a couple of days after embryo transfer when she has just told you she is trying to be really positive and actually thinks it is going work this time...