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Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

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Original poster

Anyone else finding Kate Middletons pregnancy news harder than it should be today?

25 replies

Annetter · 08/09/2014 12:06

Why I feel so jealous I don't know, it's not like ppl will stop having babies or wait till I get pregnant and IRL I know several who are pregnant and been able to just accept that it's happening for them...

Kate I feel jealous of. And then guilty. Today...

Such are the joys of PCOS and endometriosis...

OP posts:

Amrapaali · 08/09/2014 12:16

I understand.

I did feel put out. I have one daughter. Tried for a second but ended up with two miscarriages. I have made my peace with our family setup and I am quite happy.

But why do I feel this sudden prick of jealousy on hearing the news? Completely irrational and I feel guilty. But just to say you are not alone.

Original poster

Annetter · 08/09/2014 12:22

Thx Amrapaali

I have a DS (23m) who took years to conceive and then huge PND as was still unable to accept he happened naturally after all the tests and appointments over the years, I *should have been mega grateful (I am, he's my world but the guilt that went with somehow not being able to just accept and be happy was overwhelming) so irrational

So cruel but I just reading a few other posts on here am realising this "irrational jealousy" is something many of us suffer with

OP posts:

happylass · 08/09/2014 17:02

Yes. She has gotten pg twice in the time that we've been TTC ( we have no children) and we've not even had a sniff of a BFP . For me it's not so much the fact that Kate herself is pg - I am pleased for anyone who was such wonderful news - it's more that I know the media will be ramming her bump down our throats 24/7 over the coming months.

TheTravellingLemon · 08/09/2014 17:05

Yep. Me - such a terrible way to think. I can't help it though. I feel like I want to scream that it's not fair.

PicardyThird · 08/09/2014 17:11

Me. 2 dc in fairly quick succession, but preceded/interrupted by three mcs, now another three mcs over 1.5 years trying for no. 3 and taking longer to get pg every time - this time 9 months and nothing.

It's hard.

lildottie · 08/09/2014 20:43

I too am with you on this ladies. And so is dh. In fact when he found out today he text me "Kate Middleton is pregnant........F**k off"

We have been ttc no 1 for 2 years with no hint of a bfp. MFI and currently waiting for ICSI. The waiting is the worst part - it just feels like life is passing me by.

PotatoesPastaAndBread · 08/09/2014 21:39

Me too. No DC. TTC #1 for nearly two years. I'm happy for her, but sad for me and DH. My period is due on Wednesday. I know it's not the worst thing and other people have far worse misfortune. So I feel guilty and selfish as well as jealous.

Bue · 09/09/2014 11:26

lildottie same here, DH has just come in grumbling about it (think he only found out this morning). He used some choice language to describe the pair of them

lildottie · 09/09/2014 12:30

don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them and everyone's story is different no matter what you think you know about it, but between Kate and the panda I just give in!

Andcake · 09/09/2014 18:04

With you - I think it's just the media 'joy' and the endless media coverage to be endured. Rather than an issue with the pregnancy itself. Also it seems to reinforce the idea that the pinnacle of a women's achievements is pregnancy - which is bollocks obviously.
We had years trying to get dc #1 and have given up on #2 but I'm still jealous.
Dp cynically jokers last night that kates opening gambit to will was 'I have a fully functioning womb' as that seems her only role - particularly in the medias eyes! Thank god my fertility wasn't a deciding factor in dp being with me although it's given us some horrible times.

lildottie · 09/09/2014 18:08

that must have been a tough decision to make andcake. I have moments where I seriously consider forgetting having any dcs and just getting on with my life. if ivf doesn't work within 2 tries I'm going to have the decision made for me as dh isn't keen to adopt.

RogueV · 09/09/2014 21:50

Yes.

Really annoying. I was pregnant the same time as her first and I had a late loss and now I can't get pregnant naturally and need ivf.

The joys of infertility.

Original poster

Annetter · 10/09/2014 00:08

Just spent 10 mins talking to a neighbour complaining about being preg twice in quick succession... Guess it's not just Kate I'm jealous of and annoyed by

Was really hard not to tell her how jealous I was of her and just try offer a supportive ear ESP as she's v young and has all the time in the world unlike me

OP posts:

Greyhound · 10/09/2014 01:16

Oh totally agree - have one very adored PFB who was a miracle after recurrent miscarriages.

Like a lot of posters it's the endless media speculation that makes my heart sink :(

lildottie · 10/09/2014 08:04

greyhound, glad you got your miracle. hope there are a few more miracles handed out to us all before the year is out.

Greyhound · 10/09/2014 16:13

Thanks Lil - I think high profile pregnancies are hard to deal with and Kate's pregnancy / new baby will fill the papers for god knows how long.

naty1 · 10/09/2014 17:44

Yes i feel jelous. My dd is year older (icsi) and we have spent the last yr doing ivf again for a second unsuccessfully.
In fact think i was younger than kate when i started this journey.
Also at a cost of around £10k so far more jealousy as they could afford ss many rounds at they want.
I dont think its a good role model either (though its their lives) as leave getting pg till 30s and have 2 close together, you dont need to try for more than a couple of months.

Sleepswithbutterflies · 10/09/2014 18:12

Yep me.
We have dc1 but can't have anymore, our problems are complicated and on both sides so fate seems massively against us. We've had two failed rounds of icsi and it still hasn't been enough to help.
I'm hugely hugely bitter but try and put it to one side because frankly it's ruined my life.
However seeing it every fucking day in the paper may finish me off.

Sleepswithbutterflies · 10/09/2014 18:13

We've spent £10k too. Awesome. £10k on what every single other person I know in rl gets for free and we have nothing to show for it.

naty1 · 10/09/2014 20:11

Yes. One of the few things you spend money on and have nothing.
If i could spend the money and be guaranteed success i wouldnt mind.
(In some industries this would be mis-selling :)

Greyhound · 10/09/2014 22:02

That only makes it worse - to have spent ££££££ and got nothing :(

I expect with a bit of luck this baby will be her last, given the sickness she's had with both pregnancies...

GingerbreadBabyPlease · 11/09/2014 12:42

Yep me too. It felt like someone kicking me in the stomach. For some reason it's the news I have been dreading the most whilst we have been trying for DC2 for well over a year. I think it's the fact that we have to face updates and photos all over the place for the next year. And just to really show my true feelings, I hate how we are all meant to feel sympathetic that she has terrible morning sickness, I would give anything to be throwing up all day every day for 9 months.

ChewyGiraffe · 11/09/2014 13:14

I would give anything to be throwing up all day every day for 9 months - exactly.

I was due my first same time as Kate, but then DD arrived a bit early (and George was late I think). And now I should still be pregnant with DC2 and due just before Kate, but I had a grim miscarriage at 10 weeks (having seen a heartbeat on early scans) shortly before her news was announced.

I'm so sorry for others who've had losses, or anyone struggling to conceive, but if it makes anyone on this thread feel any better I'm also really old (forties) and panicking we will never complete our family. (DH has ruled out adoption etc.)

I don't know why the Kate news upset me so much, as I'm genuinely happy with friends/family having babies. But the perma updates about someone I don't know, microscopic detail of her morning sickness, and when baby's born next year, thinking that should've been my due date too ... nightmare.

Frankly she can stuff all her money and houses and designer clothes and glossy hairdresser hair - I couldn't care less - but the extreme confidence to announce your pregnancy to the world's media when you're not even 12 weeks, well that I am v v jealous of.

lildottie · 11/09/2014 15:40

ginger me too! my bro was moaning about being up for night feeds with his 3wk old to me yesterday. he knows our struggles. I was like don't start, I'd give anything for that!

chewy totally agree. its like a double slap in the face that she's not 12weeks yet, but I guess they had to beat the leaks to the media. still no sympathy here though.

Floweroct · 16/09/2014 16:48

I'm glad it wasn't just me! I was due just before Kate but had a mmc since then I've had a further mc after iui plus an unsuccessful iui. People at work were saying that if they were them they'd just keep popping them out cos it's so easy, have to admit I had to go to toilets for a cry and to pull myself together!

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